originally posted by: quercusrex
a reply to: zandra
That questions may be triggers for some does not negate the usefulness of asking them.
You cannot learn if you don't ask.
You know what? You just reminded me of someone and maybe this might seem off topic, but I promise you it isn't.
My husband got bit once by an animal and then was diagnosed with something akin to the plague. He just wasn't feeling well and so we went to the
doctor and the doc said that he needed to be hospitalized immediately. This was unexpected and very upsetting...and I didn't like the doctor who was
now telling him what to do...
I told another doctor about how I felt about this doc's bed side manners and this second doctor said to me, "If Dr. So-and-so told me that I needed to
be hospitalized, I wouldn't ask why, I would ask "which bed?" He then went on to tell me about how much respect he had for this particular doctor
with such bad bed side manners. And I learned an important lesson that day when the second doctor asked me who I would prefer: the doctor with good
manners or the one who knew how to save my husband's life?
Another time I was working at a nursing home and there was a young nun there dying. The priest called me in the middle of the night and asked if I
would go there so this nun wouldn't die alone. I'd never watched a person die before, so I was a tad uncomfortable with the request -- not because I
was afraid, but because I was afraid I wouldn't be adequate for what was needed. But when I got there, the nurse in charge was the nurse from hell
that no one liked. I felt sick inside, seeing her there....
When the time came, and it seemed this beautiful nun had died, I went to get that awful nurse. She was writing in the charts and had that "Don't even
think of speaking to me" posture. Again I felt sick inside. After some moments, I cleared my throat and then said, "Excuse me, but I think the nun
just pasted away."...Well, this nurse from hell looked up -- not at me, but just looked up and straight ahead, and then slammed down her pen and
turned to me and demanded, "How do you know!!??? Did you take her pulse!!??"...I didn't answer her. I just stared back at her silently, and then she
got up out of the chair in an incredibly dramatic fashion, pushed the chair aside...and me...and then began to walk down the hallway towards the nun's
And then something completely unexpected happened. As we were passing the janitor's station, a sort of tiny room to the side, this nurse stepped in
there and had a mini-melt down. She began to cry and complain out loud, "Why God? Why her? She was so sweet! Why!!!!" This nurse was really pissed off
with God at that moment. I didn't think she had it in her to feel anything at all...but then, again, another thing happened that just blew my mind.
She took a deep audible breath, stood straight up, back into her nurse from hell posture, and walked out of that closet as if nothing had happened,
and went in and took the pulse of a dead body.
Now, OP, with a frightened laugh, I'm not saying that you are a heartless doctor or a nurse from hell! But you have somehow "triggered" that
What those experiences did for me, was to show me how different we all are, but being different doesn't make us wrong. We all see the world through
different eyes and process what we see with different brains and points of reference.
Earlier I said that what some were saying sounded more of an introvert/extrovert type of thing (referring to Myers Briggs Personality Inventory -- or
at least as it was back in the early '80's). Only now I am remembering "the rest of the story" ...a shout out to that guy on TV, Paul Harvey, I think.
Anyway, after introvert/extrovert comes intuitive/sensate...I suck at sensate...but it's good to know these differences.
Better minds than mine can give a quick run down here, but assuming that even one person is reading this, the OP perhaps, here's how it goes, or as
this old brain remembers it, anyway:
1. Introvert/extrovert has to do with how we get our energy
. Extroverts get theirs from being around other people, but even they can get too
much and need to regroup alone for a bit. They can party all night. Introverts get theirs by being alone. It is said that introverts are party
poopers, but it's more that they are pooped by the party, and either don't want to go to one, or are ready to leave after 5 minutes.
2. Sensate/intuitive has to do with how we get our information
. Sensates get theirs from the regular 5 senses. Intuitives, on the other hand,
get theirs from a so-called 6th sense. I asked an intuitive friend once if she had a lemon tree in her back yard, on a property that she had owned and
lived in for 20 years. Her response after pausing a moment and frowning: "I'm sorry to say I have no idea." A sensate would have known.
3. Feeling/thinking has to do with how we assess that information
. We all use both sides of our brains, hopefully, but we tend to prefer one
side over the other. Think of Mr. Spock. I can't give an example of the other, except for perhaps most of the people on this thread.
4. Judging/perceiving has to do with how we make decisions with all we've taken in
. The judging type is quick to make a decision and then
walks away satisfied with it, never looking back. The perceiving type will sweat bullets over a decision, and will question their decision with each
bit of new information that gets processed, and will never be comfortable with it. As an employer, I had to get over being the perceiving type and
develop the judging side or we were all doomed.
So, with these four categories, we get 16 combinations, and more if you consider that some are on the fence and dead center between the particular
It's there someplace in the books that INFP's and I think INFJ's (my books are packed away) tend towards "ESP" as they put it. I'm wondering if you
sort of stem from the other side of the equation, which is why many of us are not seeing eye to eye, so to speak. It doesn't make any of us right or
...but we tend to gravitate towards people like ourselves, never fully appreciating how fascinating and in fact
all these differences are.
Make sense? I'm starting to think (yes, I do think even though I'm a feeling type) that you are trying to understand feeling with the thinking side of
your brain, and are more of a sensate who is trying to understand an intuitive...and it can't be done, even as a color blind person can not see
certain colors, no matter how anyone tries to describe it.
Anyway, peace to you.
edit on 22-4-2016 by ClownFish because: Typo, after all that, dang it.