originally posted by: CIAGypsy
a reply to: Bluesma
I disagree... You don't have to feel discomfort emotionally to decide something needs to be changed or a problem needs solved.
Exactly. Apparently you read my post too fast or something- you are agreeing
with what I said, and what this whole discussion is saying about
women in general.
I don't need to analyze and over analyze my feelings on a problem or decision in order to take action, which is what the woman in the video is
No, that is NOT what she is doing. That is why the men ask, "why is she not taking action?"
The woman here has no intention of making a decision to take action
Her decision is already made, it is not up for question. She chose to have that nail there, and she is choosing to keep it there.
What she is doing has NOTHING to do with action, and EVERYTHING to do with endurance.
The fact that it causes discomfort, emotionally or physically, is irrelevant to the decision to do it.
A lot of women cannot afford to make choices according to pain avoidance- the human race would die out.
But when you make a choice that you know will be a source of discomfort, you better have some skills at endurance, and knowing how to release
effectively the emotional stress and fatigue.
Verbalization of emotions has two great uses-
One- catharsis. Like a steam vent, it allows for purging of emotion. Everyone knows you actually feel less upset once you get it out. It frees up your
intellect from the flood of hormones and enables you to think more rationally afterwards.
It gets the emotion out as something that can be observed objectively instead of lived subjectively.
Two- adjustment of perception. With the intellect less clouded by emotion, it is freed up to search for different perspectives to adopt which might
lessen the emotional production in the future, without changing the situation.
A very elementary example is the age old advice of what to do if you have to speak in public and are anxious- you imagine all your public is sitting
there in their underwear. For almost any very hard situation, choosing a certain way of thinking can change your emotional reactions to it. This is
how I had three deliveries without a epidural- working on choosing effective perspectives to focus on at those moments.
In the example of this video- the woman is trying to separate the sensation from the object, trying to find a different way of thinking about it that
would make it easier to sustain. That is why his insistance on attaching it again is counter productive. She has chosen that nail there (why, I don't
know, maybe someone dared her and she stands to win a million bucks if she can keep it for a week?
) she is looking for a way of processing that
If he was any good at this, he would suggest being in the moment and experiencing it as if it was a "momentary" pain. There are some ways you can
adjust your thoughts to not be bullied and run by your sensations or emotions...
It's paralysis by analysis. I see people doing this in counseling all the time. They become so consumed by their emotions to a traumatic event
that they prefer to hold onto it and relive it rather than process it and let it go. It's like they feel they can only validate their feelings by
holding onto them.
I believe this happens because there is some reason they have chosen to be where they are. The emotions and perspectives are not the source of the
inaction, they are the excuse. They are the perspective chosen to facilitate and make possible this position. Even if there is a part that claims "I
don't want to be here/like this" there is another part which disagrees and sabotages that plan.
Even therapists will encourage a person to continue reinforcing the current mode of processing, because despite their conscious claim of wanting to
aid the person to change or move on, there is the subconscious conditioning they have, to keep their client and income... (I hate to bring that up,
but both of my parents were shrinks and this eventually became painfully obvious even to them).
edit on 19-4-2016 by Bluesma because: (no