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1. "THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT."
2. "WOULD YOU REPEAT THAT SLOWLY."
3. "ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF?"
4. "THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT IN."
5. "DO YOU KNOW THAT CRITICAL PEOPLE HAVE THE MOST CRITICISM RESERVED FOR THEMSELVES? You are showing me and others how dissatisfied you are with yourself when you behave like that."
originally posted by: Pinke
a reply to: BO XIAN
My first reaction was to raise an eyebrow thinking this would be a handful of pithy ways to deflect criticism, but listening closely ... it does address actually address taking criticism.
That said, a lot of people think that someone trying to help them avoid pain are in category 5.
originally posted by: ccseagull
Hi Bo Xian - yes, all is well, all are happy and healthy. Thanks for asking. How about you? (Hugs)
I do find they help. I've already been using a few of the steps with family that have adhd. And it never gets old, the look on their faces as my comment registers and then they get this lightbulb moment and their comment is rephrased with focus and consideration. It's wonderful to experience because you know they are with you in that moment.
The Ted Talks video is fantastic. We all have that inner voice that whispers to us and wants to take the safe and lazy way out. I’ve had a bit of cognitive therapy and it has helped tremendously. I have also been reading about our spoken word and the power of our words. Just as God spoke the world into existence we have that ability to speak life or negativity into our lives. And we subconsciously follow those spoken words.
We have to re-learn how to be conscious in the moment and that way maintain control of our thoughts and the power of those and the words that sometimes follow. Some of this is in conjunction with our carnal mind and our spirit mind (Christian speak but I do believe it all ties in together).
As well, we are not our emotions. Our emotions are nothing but reactions. We can control them by giving thought and choosing not to let our physiological response control us.
It's all doable and learning these techniques/knowledge has changed my life and enhanced my relationships.