a reply to: lavatrance
I don't know Lavatance..idk why it has to be so hard. But you know,you can easily drive yourself crazy if you don't accept your lot in life. Believe
me,you can drive yourself into suicidal depression,seething fury and bitterness,alcohol abuse,substance abuse, resentment,hostility-and in doing
so,miss out on so many good days. Or what could have been fairly good days if one didn't spoil it for oneself and one's nearest+dearest because of
bitterness,resentment and pent-up anger and frustration.It is a monumental self-sabotage,to add to what seems like wilful sabotage of one's whole life
by forces majeure.
Take it from someone who has had a really Truman-show type life,and still does-if there is Nothing you can change about your circumstances-you Can
still change your attitude towards your circumstances and lot in life.
Many people think that if they had more money,they could do more,go places,do things-and while that is true-bear in mind this anecdote: I have a
friend,an American woman,who is financially well off,and could easily have travelled all over-had it not been for crippling genetic disease.The
disease also caused her to decide to not have children,in case a child inherited her misery.So she does not have that love and comfort either.And she
is often sickly and in pain,battered and bruised because she often falls down when trying to walk around-and you know this woman has such a
young,girlish spirit,she is so tough and brave,that she is a profound inspiration to me. She just does the best she can each day,around her lot in
I take it like this: I have a husband who financially supports me+the kids,and does his best for me us. He does not get a big salary,and often we are
very broke for the last week of every month. He keeps trying to find a better job,with better pay,but although he has an excellent reputation in his
trade,he just can Not find another job elsewhere,for some strange reason.He has been sending his impressive CV far and wide for Years now but never
even gets an interview. There's the obstacle of affirmative action in my country and he's white,But still that only goes so far as an obstacle. It
just Mystifies us how someone as excellently capable and qualified as him,and with such an excellent reputation in his field, and numerous contacts
and friends in his field,could in all these years not even get One Measly Interview.
So we try to manage on his salary,although it's difficult,but we NEVER have to go to bed hungry,we can afford most of the time healthy fresh
produce,and the kids can have chocolate/ice cream or crisps at least twice a week.We have wifi and 2 pc's,my daughter has a laptop and my son has a
PS3 and many games. We live in South Africa,out in the African Bush,away from much pollution,in a fairly safe place. The nature here is beautiful,i
often see zebras,apes and sometimes antelopes by the fenceline,lots of birdlife here,and we have 4 dogs and 8 cats because we love animals.Once a
month we can go to the provincial capital and have a meal at our fave seafood restaurant,and watch a movie or just dawdle around in the mall,if we're
looking for something specific.The water here is The best in South Africa,immensely delicious,it is from a natural aquifer,there is none of the
disgusting chemical-cocktail taste of town and city municipal water.In fact i am now addicted to water,not even halfway joking,i drink Liters a day,it
Thing is,my husband Hates his job,he hates it so badly,the people he works for are the most disgusting people you could ever hope to meet,and they
make his life a misery every day at work. But because he cannot find anything else no matter how hard he tries,he has just Had to hack this for 13
years,every single weekday,sometimes overtime on weekends when they have problems at work - there's no option,and he has to Keep on hacking it for the
foreseeable future. So he too tries to find what happiness he can after working hours.Or some contentment at least.We can never afford family
holidays,and because of previous financial catastrophes we cannot get a credit card to help us through the last rough week of every month.My daughter
would have loved to have gone to university,she is very bright,but we cannot afford it,in my country everything is about 10 times as expensive as
anywhere else in the world-for locals anyway. For tourists our Mickey Mouse currency makes the exchange rate very favorable but for locals the price
of almost everything is a nightmare. Which is why we could never save up for our gal to go to uni.Which is why most people who live comfy,more
exciting lives,do so on credit-otherwise they too would have been stuck at home all the time,unable to go anywhere or do anything.
BUT one HAS to look for the good in one's life,you know? And usually there is Some,if you look for it. Sometimes more than one would at first
realise,Especially when compared with some friends and aquaintances,even some wealthier people. I have listed my "good" here,as an example.
Also,try to find a hobby or a pastime that you Really love-it doesn't have to cost much. Because we can never really go anywhere,except once a
month.we have the pc's and wifi connection,and i do have much creativity,so i have taught myself to become quite an ok digital artist,and i enjoy it
tremendously,creating digital art. I also love photography too,i cannot afford a really good camera,in my country the really good ones cost between
20-40 000 bucks,but i do my best with my lil Canon Powershot.Before that i did painting,made cat ornaments,beads from clay and handpainted them,some
pewterwork,African doll figurines etc. Creating stuff makes one forget about much problems and unhappiness in one's life,it really and truly
does,believe me. Just find your own "good" and concentrate on That-it is all one can do,Lavatrance.