What Young Men Need To Be Taught

What young women need to be taught:

Almost every guy you meet will think about what it's like to have sex with you.

If you are attractive, it's probably only men in your close family who won't.

Most men you know will have at some time discussed your ass and breasts with their mates behind your back, unless you are married to them or are their sister or mother.

Men have the capacity to have great respect for the women in their lives; mothers, sisters, wives and girlfriends, but also have the capacity to jerk off to porn when no one is looking.

All fathers with daughters know all this very well and it's why they are so protective - but it still doesn't stop them jerking off to porn when no one is watching.

The vast majority of men would never dream of raping you and would at all times try to avoid being caught perving on you.

The guys that defend your honour against other guys actually want to have sex with you - probably the most.

A 'good boy' is actually a clever boy and has perfected the art of hiding the above, but suffers because he gets laid less than other boys, so try to give him a chance.

Hopefully that helps



EDIT: I almost forgot - if you have sex with a guy and are not married or been with him for along time, get very concerned if you get a cuddle afterwards. It probably means he's after something a bit more weird next time.

originally posted by: BelowLowAnnouncement
Maybe I'm blinded by my reliance on my own personal interactions and experiences on this subject. It's just that I see a generation who will take as much leeway as they are given, even though they know they are in the wrong. Like a type of cognitive dissonance, they know their actions are problematic but they are getting away with it so they are okay with the problem, and some are being afforded benefits because of it (like using snowflake status to take advantage and forward ideas in line with their own opinions, or silence opinions they disagree with, for instance). The PC culture is a safe playground for a lot of them to toe the line without repercussions IMO, they keep chipping and chiselling wanting more and more.

I guess I'm going to have to learn about this snowflake term after all. LOL.

IF I understand you at all accurately . . . I think you are saying that

--greed, selfishness, ?laziness,? rebellion? etc. are alive and well in that co-hort?

You say they know they are in the wrong but do whatever they can get away with anyway.

I think the "know" in that phrase is problematic. I think that when we TRULY KNOW to our bone marrow--that we are wrong and that there are serious consequences for being wrong, we TEND to alter our behavior accordingly . . . particularly if parents modeled such and taught such convincingly and non-hypocritically.

Given examples like Slick Willy and Monica L . . . it has been made abundantly clear in upper levels of power as well as a vast amount of media--that those in the wrong do NOT SEEM to reap what they sow--at least not in any near term time-frame that reliably impacts their well-being or life-style.

It has been demonstrated that even horrible drug abuse--uncurable in most other ways--can be dealt with rather effectively when a culture [witness Portugal and other European projects] decides to de-emphasize drug abuse and facilitate, encourage, support, teach CONNECTEDNESS, A SENSE OF BELONGING, ATTACHMENT vs Attachment Disorder--that even the addicted hard drug abuse falls to nil percentage wise.

That, to me, emphasizes yet again the crucial relationship particularly dads have with a child the first 6-8 years of life.

And most of us are aware that Dads have been being shredded up one side and down the other from all sides for decades. They have nothing left to give even if they knew how and wanted to--too often.

Thanks for your kind reply.

originally posted by: kaylaluv

originally posted by: Teikiatsu


But it's okey-fine to repress those emotions that this writer thinks are icky!

She's not talking about repressing any emotions. She is talking about repressing certain bad behavior. Do YOU think men should take pictures of women without their permission and post them online? Do YOU think men should sing songs in public about doing not nice things to women's sexual parts? Is that how you are going to raise YOUR son? I highly doubt it. So what is wrong with a woman writing her opinion that parents should take the time to raise their sons to not be dickheads?

First off, it's none of your business how I'm going to raise my son. You can save your advice for some progressive snowflake.

I think boys should be allowed to express themselves with some measure of common sense, and learn the mistakes of their youth while they are still young and shape up afterwards.

Do YOU think it's better to teach boys to repress their natural hormonal tendencies of gawking at girls and expressing themselves as doofuses, keeping their urges bottled up for years until they are afforded some measure of independence when they reach 18 years of age?

originally posted by: Teikiatsu

I think boys should be allowed to express themselves with some measure of common sense, and learn the mistakes of their youth while they are still young and shape up afterwards.

^this... and of course it's best to refrain from calling them rapists if they sing naughty songs. It won't be good for their development in the long run.

a reply to: kaylaluv

Young guys and young girls are far more like Beevis and Butthead when they get together with their peers and talk about the opposite sex than we care to think about or admit.

I don't know about you, but I remember some slumber parties I went to ...



Remember Skin Deep? Yeah, we watched this scene over and over and over again and added our own lewd girl commentary to it.

a reply to: ketsuko

a reply to: BO XIAN

I'm not in disagreement with anything in your post really. The snowflake stuff is drifting on a tangent a bit, but I talked of it because I believe they are molded by the culture and their peers once they get to this age.

I just don't think that a guy being stupid on Facebook, some online trolls and some lads singing an offensive song on a bus warrants a need for all young men having to be taught something. It is insulting to the majority who don't act this way. I also don't understand why there is in this thread a particular emphasis on the fathers when these morals could be instilled by either parent.

The article writer got mad at some stuff she read online, and now she thinks has the right to dictate to fathers and young men and blame them for the actions of a group of idiots because she got riled up by a few stories. She thinks she should be listened to and have control over others because she got mad.

I am going to add absolutely nothing to this thread.

I blame Disney and Hollywood for pretending there is this thing called 'true love' instead of teaching children the realities of 1000's of years of evolution and something called hormones.

a reply to: BelowLowAnnouncement

Yeah, there may be some over-kill or over generalization going on.

In terms of my perspective and experience . . . Fathers are more critical because their unconditional love is so greatly potent and so typically absent.

Mother's love is virtually always there almost regardless. And, most kids tend to take it overly for granted.

CERTAINLY BOTH PARENTS MUST avoid contributing to ATTACHMENT DISORDER for optimally healthy offspring.

I have just seen fathers abdicate most for a long list of reasons. And the fathers being so missing from the equation has resulted in epidemic proportions of ATTACHMENT DISORDER of very serious results for millions of individuals and for the culture. 95% of prisoners have serious attachment disorder--usually directly attributable to missing or abusive or cold and harsh, emotionally distant dads.

The sense of self-worth that a strong, mature, loving, tender-hearted humble dad contributes to a son or daughter is priceless in behalf of the child's health and success in life.

I don't know what the percentages are about such behaviors. I know horridly lewd and destructive, death themed music is far more popular than I ever thought possible.

I know far more youth are adrift without meaning, purpose, a sense of worth than I ever imagined would be the case.

Thanks for the dialogue.

originally posted by: TechniXcality
a reply to: Dark Ghost

there was an Egyptian guy that I was talking to, and I would discuss our cultures and ideologies ( often we conflicted). He expressed once that he likes to follow western women around on the strip and take unsuspecting pictures of them I literally came unglued, he tried to say its acceptable in his culture, and frankly I don't care what culture you come from here or even there its #ing wrong to be a predator and treat people like objects its unacceptable anywhere it happens. Is that what we are discussing here? if not I do not know what exactly we are talking about?

Just keep in mind:

And I'm sure there might be things you do that would make him come unglued because how he was raised, what he knows, what he was taught and believes.

It doesn't mean he should do those things in America if knows our culture and customs though. However, try doing some role reversals once in a while. Try seeing yourself through someone else's eyes.

a reply to: MystikMushroom

His culture makes it ok to stalk and predator women? What? And you are defending that? Hell to the #ing no! I have a culture too, so guess what that's not an excuse. I thought he was just giving excuses for being #ty towards women, and I never dreamed someone would come in this thread and defend cultural subjugation, often I hear from your side that it doesn't exist, now I'm hearing from your side to put the shoe on the other foot? What the hell, I ain't wearing that disgusting shoe? He has a culture, and I have a culture to! being a predator towards women or picking on the weak is unacceptable anywhere I go and see it. If that was my wife and I caught him doing it, I would tear his head off even in Egypt , wow this is strange are you really defending this?

Two of the three examples of misogyny I read in the article were from university students (the third age wasn't indicated). They are just at that age and in that environment. Boys will always be boys when in groups at that age, they always have been and always will be. Unless you suck the testosterone out of them, mischief, showing off and women will be on the brain. The vast majority grow out of it once they leave education and enter the workforce. I'm pretty certain this grown woman knows this too but she just wants to have her moment.

originally posted by: BO XIAN
a reply to: BelowLowAnnouncement
Thanks for the dialogue.

Yeah you too, I should apologize for appearing to brush over your lengthy posts with statements like 'I'm not in disagreement with anything in your post really', I am fairly tired but I assure you I read them each several times. I agree with a lot of what you wrote and you raised a lot of good points.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I am going to say something and maybe some people will disagree with me, but young men have waaaay too much access to porn now. The constant barrage of pornography makes young guys view women more as objects than people. If you start that mindset young it sticks for a long time. And certainly the way some young women choose to dress and act takes it further. People need to respect themselves on all levels. I used to be someone ambivalent towards it, but now I do believe pornagraphy is harmful. Not the human body, but the disconnect of that human body from the soul that inhabits it, IE making people into objects for gratification.

a reply to: kaylaluv

Abs. Smart dickhead gonna save the world.

There multiple issues here but respect is the main one, both males and females especially the young are not being taught that respect is earned and NOT demanded, I've seen both young males and females behave with utter contempt towards everyone else apart from their fellow exponents of this demanding respect culture. I'm from the now 'old fashioned' way of saying please and thank you, holding doors open, offering seats to people who need them more than me etc etc which for me is normal and decent so it galls me to see the utter lack of decency in the younger folks and worse still when I see its being handed down by their parents.

And then there's the attitude towards women, just listen to music and culture, women are 'bitches' but what is worse is that I see women responding to that as a positive ie "I'm his bitch", this simply makes the issue 100x worse. Both male and females need to be schooled in self respect and respect towards others, this of course will never happen so I just see a spiral towards complete loss of morals and decency.

Lastly, we also have the very negative influence of Middle East culture and religious depravity, where women are treated as .5 of a man, where women are controlled by a man and non religious (to their religion) are seen as 'sport' for the males to do as the see fit. Sadly as this culture shifts more and more across the globe you can expect to see the regard for many social values change for the worse. There are many wonderful things in the Middle east and it has a rich past but unfortunately the reasonably recent resurgence of Radical Islam has for me blighted these regions, their return to ancient practices of extreme violence and persecution of sections of peoples just saddens and frightens me, I look at the world my 16yr old is in and this already fractured societies ways and now see the rise of Radical Islam and its attitude towards women and worry for her future.

The bottom line is that I don't see our way of life getting better, to be honest I actually see in the not so distant future a scene from Escape From New York, John Carpenters classic film where in the future they have city sized prisons surrounded by massive walls, the difference, the prisons are self sustaining, there's no guards, people just run riot doing whatever they wish, the only rule is that you NEVER get out...

Will human behaviour sink to make that a reality, I have to say yes, eventually, look at the world, its all about the bad, the wrong and the bad for the planet.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I think it is funny how the feminists describe men as these maniacal rapist predators, when the modern male is devoid of any and all representations of manliness. The current male population has had their testosterone squeezed out of their grapefruits by way of skinny jean circulation. Look at the music role models, as a good indication. Rappers wear skirts and skinny jeans, Rock acts wear sagging skinny jeans and cross dress, and it is hip and cool to be a Bieber haired wiener boy that looks like they haven't eaten a steak their entire lives.

a reply to: TechniXcality

originally posted by: MystikMushroom

... because how he was raised, what he knows, what he was taught and believes.

It doesn't mean he should do those things in America if knows our culture...

originally posted by: TechniXcality

I'm hearing from your side to put the shoe on the other foot? What the hell, I ain't wearing that disgusting shoe?

To understand a thing is not to condone it.

To read such a position and offer such a conclusion is a statement.

Where The Mind Is Without Fear

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high
Where knowledge is free
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments
By narrow domestic walls
Where words come out from the depth of truth
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way
Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit
Where the mind is led forward by thee
Into ever-widening thought and action
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

Rabindranath Tagore

originally posted by: BelowLowAnnouncement
Two of the three examples of misogyny I read in the article were from university students (the third age wasn't indicated). They are just at that age and in that environment. Boys will always be boys when in groups at that age, they always have been and always will be. Unless you suck the testosterone out of them, mischief, showing off and women will be on the brain. The vast majority grow out of it once they leave education and enter the workforce. I'm pretty certain this grown woman knows this too but she just wants to have her moment.

I think your points are important and well made above.

1. Certainly testosterone is and will likely always be a serious factor with men--in a continuum sort of way from little to lots. However, testosterone is more like energy--a force. Whether the results or use of that force become negative, positive or wherever in between--depends on other critical factors--Attachment Disorder

2. Mischief--I think that depends on what level and amount of mischief we are talking about. Some levels of mischief are rather harmless examples of creatively wanting to break out of the mundane, social straight-jackets etc. with some fun and spontaneity.

2.1 Other levels are rooted in darker kinds of rebellion, severe angst, normlessness, hurt-born fierce anger from never feeling BELOVED, APPROVED, CHERISHED, TREASURED--particularly by a reliable, strong, tender, affectionate DAD. This sort of mischief is more toward a bone-chilling, bone-marrow level hostility over feeling persistently to always left out, abused and cast aside. This level of mischief can easily overflow into outrageously destructive attitudes, actions and results. This level of 'mischief' can reach expression in serial killers, riots, wars.

2.2 This level of 'mischief' tends to become DNA-ingrained, heart-ingrained, habit-ingrained, psychologically ingrained, a deeply held value, a way of life.

3. SHOWING OFF. Hmmmm Yeah. That's a pretty persistent phenomenon. And, all of us have some element of attention seeking behavior. Dr Murray Banks
.
www.youtube.com...

[How to Live With Yourself or What to Do Until the Psychiatrist Comes]

talks about us all acting like a 2 year old "Mommy, watch me, Mommy, Watch me!" "... we do it now with our furrs, cars, houses, . . . "

3.1 Certainly men have an ingrained hard-wiring to strut and show off like peacocks, banty roosters, etc. WHEN such needs to garner attention become overdone, dreadful results can accrue. Such a need can spring out of an early life established bottomless pit that is NEVER satisfied because the literal brain damage that occurred with the early RAD [Reactive Attachment Disorder] was too great. And, because it has never been worked through very much at all.

3.2 How would a well-adjusted, no or low RAD bloke act? I think confident folks who feel loved and with significant self-worth and self-esteem--may well stand up to be counted AS FITS THE SITUATION--as the SITUATION calls for rather than as their inner emotional deficits push them toward in a more or desperate way.

3.3 For example, a given such man may stand up and say--yeah, "I can do that. I'll stand up and be counted. I'll take the call. I'll stand in the gap."

3.4 But he WON'T stand up and shout--"ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! You shut up. You sit down. You get out of my way! I'm better than you, slug." There won't be much, if any preening, prancing about brazenly (or otherwise) and pushing others down.

3.5 I think a healthy man would dress, speak and act in sensible attractive ways that a healthy woman might notice and be drawn to. He might act in very creative, spontaneous, even innovative, slightly startling ways. I don't think he would stridently rush about shoving himself in women's faces DEMANDING their submission and attention with outlandish behaviors, dress, symbols, speech, cars, noise, volume, etc. He just doesn't DESPERATELY NEED to out of an aching bottomless pit of not feeling like he belongs or is worth more than a luke-warm pile of puke.

4. WOMEN. Yeah . . . as long as there are men . . . and women . . . women will be on the brain of most of them. I think most men have had such a drought of feeling like they belong, feeling CONNECTED, feeling worthwhile, feeling potent, feeling cherished, feeling treasured, feeling worthwhile, feeling successful with meaning in their lives--that--their woman and the sexual bonding of whatever quality is as close as they get to those feelings. And that's desperately as well as hard-wired important to them above a long list of other priorities and motivations, urges.

4.1 Heterosexual men are not all that approved, authorized, affirmed toward having deeply emotionally bonded, CONNECTED male Friendships that could afford some of those quality affirmations and confirmations. So it all gets loaded on their woman and the very complex dance with that woman--with all of both their flaws complicating it.

And now I've rambled on and on again. LOL.

Thanks for your kind thoughts

BTW, am Quite touched by your kind affirmations and that you seriously read my humble words.

Bit of a red herring to think testosterone makes a rapist, and rather insulting too.

Sure, it can have an affect on how you react to stuff.
You still have a brain though.
I've managed in my time to back off from real, red mist rage when I've been in a row.
Not saying I've just walked away instead of fighting, but I've not killed anyone.

I've also I guess been lucky enough not to be getting it on with a woman and have her change her mind in flagrante. ..

But, whether you rape someone or not is decided in your head, just the same as whether you rob someone or something else that civilised society deems wrong.

Some haven't been brought up properly, some are mentally defective.

Realistically, fancying a girl and asking her out is normal behaviour, so is having a bit of a laugh with your mates about who you all fancy.

There's a limit though where it all becomes seedy and just plain wrong.

Learning there are limits to how you should behave, and that some things you just can't have are part of the human condition and an important lesson that helps people function properly.

a reply to: SprocketUK

Any type of propaganda against testosterone is nonsense.

For every man that would do harm to a woman because they are a woman, there are hundreds who would fight and die for them for the exact same reason.