Family ties

We chose our friends, we cannot chose our family. Sit back with coffee and brownie, preferably laced with rum, extend your middle finger, unfriend her. Then go hug your kids and husband and get on with what matters.

a reply to: Bluesma

Wow...I know this isn't the case, but your step-sister and brother sound like they can't be more than 6 years old. It's sad that grown adults still let their opinion of others (family especially!) be formed by influencers with their own agenda. For what it's worth, based on your personality as it shows via ATS, they're quite obviously wrong.

I don't know anything about Facebook memes or exactly what you mean by her tagging you in said memes, but it sounds like it's essentially the social media equivalent of calling you on the phone to say "F-You" - but doing it on a conference call with everyone you're connected to on Facebook listening. If I'm anywhere close to the truth, I'd say yeah, unfriend her, and don't feel bad about it for a second. - I know you're venting and not necessarily looking for my advice, but, well, just from your OP, my disdain for your step-sister is causing me to involuntarily make the "icky face."

a reply to: Bluesma

You can't choose your family, but you can disown them.

I came to France in a roundabout way but with similar feelings towards my family. There wasn't enough there to keep me there. My sister is the exception, she is the sweetest thing in the world, but has chosen a big zero for a long term boyfriend. The sort of person who makes a pacifist feel violent and very hard to be around. I miss my sister.

Best advice...do absolutely nothing. Let the family come to you and only respond to respect.

Good luck with the cookies. Yum.

Oh, and listen to your daughter, she perhaps has truth in her yet untainted innocence and says things as she sees them.

Thank you for your input.. and you know, I really appreciate when others share their own personal experiences!

a reply to: Bluesma

I don't post here much anymore nor even read much for the same reasons, I care and people I respect or like can treat you like dirt utter disrespect.

The only thing I do know is we are not anyone different than strangers just because we are Family. Kids grow up and you learn you don't even know them after all of the years they were loved and held and you thought of them as part of you.

People like you and myself who never had a whole Family are looking for something that we missed. We are hungering for it. You won't find it and I won't, it is something missed and never to be.

Letting go all the way to the people who do make you feel less, offer no encouragement and love makes you feel at least more in control and stop wasting days and nights over thoughts like "what did I do/say wrong, why do they treat me like this why don't they love me like I do them?" I say let go with no bad feelings no breaking of things just let go, I have and I have much more peace of mind on a daily basis.
Do I still long for? Yes but I know better now.