It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Maddies Chase [PIC2016]

page: 1
14

log in

join
share:

posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 04:23 PM
link   
MADDIES' CHASE

The ominous grey clouds gathered above, as Maddie sprinted through the huge, dark and spindly trees, her eyes darting frantically from side to side, faster... and faster still.

She wasn't very big, but boy she could move FAST!
The surge of adrenaline flowed through her body, though she didn't understand it - how could she? (She was only 6 after all!)
The dirt and leaves were thrust spiralling into the air as she sped by, her feet scraping and sliding as she rounded a sharp corner on the narrow trail.
She began to pant - hard! Her lungs almost bursting from the effort of running so fast and so far, her heart pounding from the chase...

Behind her, she could hear only his voice... Shouting! Calling her name! Behind her now, far behind her... losing her...

Up ahead, the trail widened into a grassy clearing, and through the wispy stalks of grass Maddie could see... all sorts of "stuff" poking up from the ground.
There was an old bedstead, some rusty wheels from a broken bicycle, and a pile of weird Dolls Heads, like the ones on the dolls that Suzie used to have in her room.

Maddie had never liked those things, and could often be seen sitting motionless... just staring at them, glowering! Which totally freaked out Suzie! and everyone else in the family!

But this was no time to be distracted by such things... Maddie had to find a way to end this chase - this game of death she had been forced to enter, and she had to find it quickly.
She knew she was tiring, and slowed her pace to steady herself before jumping right over a big pile of garbage, which was topped off with a weird old book with a photo of a big Angel statue on it.

It was then she heard it.... just a faint rustle at first... then again... slightly louder...
Maddie FROZE, her senses tingling... she turned her head - straining to hear better, and found that by tilting her head just very slightly to the side, she could pinpoint where the noise had come from.
She stared the intense sort of stare that only a moment like this can muster... she knew that in the next few fragile moments the game would be over, the chase brought to it's final conclusion...

She edged forward... towards the point where she heard the rustling noise... stealthily forward... it was then she heard him again, behind her, always behind her... SHOUTING! and CUSSING!
But her focus was to the front... the noise, the rustle... it had come from behind the next pile of junk in this old graveyard of human waste.
And there at last, she saw movement... poking out from the corner of a large wooden framed mirror, covered in dirt and dust and spiderwebs...

Maddie edged closer... holding her breath... slowly, ever so slowly... the slightest noise now would give her away... she was so close... so near to finishing the chase...
When all of a sudden.... the tiniest of twigs gave way under the weight of her small frame and snapped beneath her foot. "SNAP!"
the game was over...

The Rabbit bolted from its hiding place and shot down the nearest burrow.
The chase was over. Maddies' head sank onto her shoulders, her ears limp as she sniffed the air around the old mirror... and just for a second - she caught sight of her own reflection...

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..

..


It was just a moment later when he, her "master" caught up with her, and scooped her up into his arms...
"Maddie! You daft thing! Have you been chasing rabbits again? You'll never get one you silly thing! and look at the state of YOU!! Covered in mud and dirt and what's this green stuff from the dump?? eww! It's a good thing you dogs can only see in Black and White!" and he gave her the warmest of cuddles as he carried her back to the car.


THE END




posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 04:34 PM
link   
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Fantastic!

LOL

Are you going to win...again???




posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 04:41 PM
link   
a reply to: TNMockingbird

I will be VERY surprised if I even get near the podium this time hunny.
WOW - so many BRILLIANT entries!

It's so great, because seeing how the REALLY great writers here "do it" helps to make us mere mortals a wee bit better at it!
I learn a little bit with every great story I read here, and I've NEVER learned so much about writing as I have RIGHT HERE in the short story competitions, because you get so many.... interpretations of the same theme, you get to peek at what works and what doesn't! It's brilliant and fascinating at the same time!!!!

I'm so glad you liked my 2nd take on this.

THANK YOU!

Gx



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 04:43 PM
link   
Ha! Interesting twist!



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 04:44 PM
link   
A breath of fresh air. lol



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:02 PM
link   
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

OMGEE. Well written. I love it OMGordi!



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:04 PM
link   
Thanks "Raine" and thanks again Tom!

I was just playing around with an idea I got.... I think I like it!
It turned out quite funny I think? LOL

(Trying to wean myself out of the big dark scary hole that I'd made.... ROFL!!!!!)

thanks again!
G



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:05 PM
link   
a reply to: Quantum12

LOL - I KNEW you'd like this one Q!!!!

but... I don't know why???? ROFL!!!

Thanks buddy!
G



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:13 PM
link   
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

I loved the end. "Snap" by to by no more see ya.



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:17 PM
link   
a reply to: Quantum12

you sir, have good taste!!! ROFL
"SNAP"!


ohh, are you going to do a number two? (entry...)



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:27 PM
link   
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Well now that was a merry chase! You totally fooled me with the puppy angle! Love your sense of humor, Gordi. And I can read it with your accent in my head now that I've heard you sing! That makes it all the more fun. Well done.



AB



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 05:39 PM
link   
a reply to: AboveBoard

OMG!!!
I am now officially stunned, speechless.

You have NO IDEA how much your kind words mean to me!

(Pinches self: I fooled ABs!!!!! YAY! OK, now I can die happy!!!)

AB's - You are my (writers) destination. The place where I'd like to... eventually be.
I know that I am nowhere near, but F*ck me!! I have a huge smile on my face, now that you have rewarded my efforts with your approval!
In my own "accent" - Jings! Ah'm so chuffed!

Thank you! So much.
Gx



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 06:03 PM
link   
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer
Oh Gordi! It was the perfect chase!!!



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 06:06 PM
link   
a reply to: Martin75

JESSIE!!! Thank you!
I'm so glad that you got it! LOL

gx



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 06:08 PM
link   

originally posted by: AboveBoard
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Well now that was a merry chase! You totally fooled me with the puppy angle! Love your sense of humor, Gordi. And I can read it with your accent in my head now that I've heard you sing! That makes it all the more fun. Well done.

AB


I forgot to say.... You should hear me TALK!

Gx



posted on Apr, 12 2016 @ 08:05 AM
link   
a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Wow, Gordi!
That surprised me, lol...I thought you were getting even more dark and twisty!


I guess this was a good contest, huh? Not only are a lot of people entering...they're entering twice!!

Great stuff, but I'm not surprised...you're very talented.
S&F
jacy



posted on Apr, 12 2016 @ 08:20 AM
link   
a reply to: jacygirl

Woof Woof! LOL

Me?? Dark & Twisted???? Mwahahaaaa!!!!


Thanks Jacybabes! Much appreciated as always.

Gx



new topics

top topics



 
14

log in

join