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(PIC2016) Second Chance (a rhyme)

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posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 01:27 PM
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(PIC2016) Second Chance (a rhyme)



She stood beneath the barren trees...
and thought she felt a gentle breeze,

Reminded of a lover's touch...
she smiled, though lately not as much,

As years ago when he was here...
With love for her, so fresh and pure,

That she felt transcendental light...
Until one very tragic night,



The angel tucked his wings in tight...
With head in hand, he lost the fight,

The mourner's paid their due respect...
Made small talk then, they turned and left,

The stairs to Heaven in her view...
She wanted now, to climb them too,

To smell his skin and see his face...
And leave this most unhappy place,

(cont'd. below)




posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 01:29 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl


But Fate had something else in mind...
An enchanted mirror, she would find,

With cobweb etching on the glass...
And words like from a Sunday mass,

But no, not from a bible book...
The words were spells, you gave or took,

"Thy cherubs rise as dust falls ashen...
Weep no more child of the passion,

Love ye all who enter thusly...
Judge not lest ye judge them justly,"



The words were barely spoken when...
She fell upon her knees and then,

The doll-head cherubs she could see...
Rise up then *poof* just dust indeed,

And suddenly with tap on door...
The visions leave, they are no more,

Opportunity knocks a final time...
She lives happily ever after...thanks for reading my rhyme!

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 01:42 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

Nice rhyme, you might win first and second.



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 01:44 PM
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a reply to: Quantum12

Oh hey, thank you Quantum!

Nah, I won't be winning this (aren't YOU in the lead?)...

I just like writing. And I'm bored.

But I do appreciate your kind words!!
jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 01:55 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

I like this line, quote from Jacygirl "But Fate had something else in mind...
An enchanted mirror, she would find,"

That is deep!

I do not know how to reply with a quote of your line only.

I looked wow First. Mockingbird will pull first. Her writing is great!



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 02:05 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

So good and creative!

What words would be enough? None!

You're fantastically talented!

I love it!

You're a 'shoe in' for the win! IMO




posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 02:12 PM
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a reply to: TNMockingbird

Thank you sweetie! (I'm blushing furiously)

You guys are too kind.


I don't care about winning...once I DID win my 'writer' status I was perfectly happy, lol.
I'm really enjoying the writing itself, and the camaraderie that's formed between us writers.

The best part now is seeing a really good writer gain their status.
I love that.

Methinks it's your turn. Most of the weekly crowd haven't even seen any of the stories yet.
It's going to be a busy contest.

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 02:26 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

NOW who's being too kind! LOL

You know, Erroll and YOU really gave me my wings!

Not even saying I'm close to his (or your) caliber but, with him being new and willing to 'put it all out there'...I thought WTH!

I can too...and I happen to handle rejection fairly well cause I'm fearless...LOL






posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 02:32 PM
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a reply to: TNMockingbird

Oh I agree that it's much easier to write when surrounded by friends here!

I have yet to write an entry for a contest elsewhere...wouldn't dream of it actually.
Nobody likes to be criticized...not even for assistance. I think there are better more supportive ways to help someone than criticizing what they've "put out there".
But that's just me.

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 03:14 PM
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That was beautiful ! Don´t know why i was thinking the predictions of mother Shipton.
I keep my eyes on you Jacy ! We never know when you start your prediction rhymes


This was absolutely wonderful one ! Thank you !



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 03:27 PM
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a reply to: dollukka

Aww, that's very sweet, thank you!

Prediction rhymes...? I don't think I've ever done that....?


The magic spell was just made up, honest!

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 03:35 PM
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Bravo dear Jacy!
Very nicely done.


G



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 03:48 PM
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a reply to: Gordi The Drummer

Thank you, Gordi.
Always a compliment coming from you!

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 04:03 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

pssst.... your rhyme and my creepy song.... they're both in the same... meter? They could fit together!! (Try it and see!!)
I'm off to bed now.

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 04:06 PM
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originally posted by: Gordi The Drummer
a reply to: jacygirl

pssst.... your rhyme and my creepy song.... they're both in the same... meter? They could fit together!! (Try it and see!!)
I'm off to bed now.

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G


Seriously? Oh wow, I wonder if I subconsciously used the meter. Hmm, not sure which came first...the rhyme in my head, or listening to your song. (I shall have to ponder that.)

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 04:41 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

A happy ending, hurray! That was really good, your rhyme keeps time...

I love these contests, there are so many creative and talented people on ATS.

I loved that poem too, it was excellent.



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 02:51 AM
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Wow, well done my friend once again!



posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 07:05 AM
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a reply to: Night Star

Thank you so much, beansidhe and Night Star!

I really do appreciate it.
jacy



posted on Apr, 13 2016 @ 08:55 AM
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lovely !! totally entranced me with your words

you have a beautiful talent



posted on Apr, 13 2016 @ 05:23 PM
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a reply to: jacygirl

Wonderfully done my friend! You are a wordsmith and one of my favorite writers here on ATS.
S/F



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