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Falling Angels [PIC2016]

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posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 08:39 PM
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They got him on a silver platter. Finally caught in the tangled web he wove himself. There would be no escape this time. No more Mr. Wiseguy



Along came the spider.

"This is it", he thought just before he got bitten. Shots rang out through the forest. He took it like a man. Live by the gun, die by the gun.

A murder of disturbed black crows cawed frantically as they fled the scene.




"Welcome. I was expecting you."

He opened his eyes. He knew where he was.




"I know, I was expecting you too", he replied with a sarcastic grin.

"How refreshing, most weep and beg God for forgiveness. It's amusing to me. I tell them redemption can be found up there. They only have to pick the right path."

"Others still believe that?"

"Oh they keep falling for it. Most of these fools still don't realise that there is no redemption and that both paths lead to the same beginning and end.

All souls get thrown back down to Earth and cry when they are cast into yet another mold. Forever and ever. Hahahaha."




"Yeah. Har har"








edit on 9-4-2016 by DutchMasterChief because: (no reason given)




posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 08:51 PM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

Nice short and sweet!



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 08:55 PM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief
Hold on can I add one thing! Ok thanks.

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey;
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away.



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 07:22 AM
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a reply to: Quantum12

Thanks mang.



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 08:12 AM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief
Awesome! I'm diggin it man
good luck!



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 08:46 AM
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a reply to: natalia

Thanks!



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 09:16 AM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

Hi DutchMasterChief...may I call you DMC?


Really good story! S&F

You're character sounds smart-assy...I adore smart-assy, lol.
Good luck!

jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 09:28 AM
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a reply to: jacygirl

Thanks Jacy! Yes you may.




You're character sounds smart-assy...


I wonder where that came from.




I adore smart-assy, lol.


I like you too!




posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 09:32 AM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

lol, awesome!

Let's pause to share a "mutual appreciation smart-ass grin*.


jacy



posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 09:39 AM
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a reply to: jacygirl




posted on Apr, 10 2016 @ 02:41 PM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

"Oh they keep falling for it. Most of these fools still don't realise that there is no redemption and that both paths lead to the same beginning and end. "

^ THIS line...loved it!

Very good!




posted on Apr, 11 2016 @ 11:10 AM
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a reply to: TNMockingbird

Thank you very much!



posted on Apr, 12 2016 @ 02:57 PM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

That read like film noir (the very best kind, I always think
).
I really, really loved that - S&F& for you.

B x



posted on Apr, 14 2016 @ 07:06 AM
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a reply to: beansidhe

Thank you! I didn't set out to write it like that, but reading back, it made me think of "film noir" too. Funny that you mentioned it.

I kinda regret not taking more time to write it, it was a rushjob and with the ideas I had in the last days it could have been much better and not so short. Ah well.

Maybe I'll write another story.



posted on Apr, 14 2016 @ 09:12 AM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

I agree with beansidhe, very Noir. I just wish there was a little more meat. Your protagonist reads as very hardboiled. Props.




posted on Apr, 14 2016 @ 10:02 AM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

Quick and punchy with a sharp message ! very very enjoyable


s&f



posted on Apr, 16 2016 @ 12:22 PM
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a reply to: DutchMasterChief

I tend to write short stories, shorter than most of the writers on here. You delivered your point well.
S/F



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