I never had a girlfriend ..

originally posted by: dude200181
a reply to: crazyewok

Get a job

Get some self respect

Get a girlfriend

It's not going to work any otherway.

That is 100% honesty to help you.

No excuses or buts.

No job = no girl

If any of you want to ask questions go ahead.

originally posted by: dude200181
If any of you want to ask questions go ahead.

Have you got a CV and resume written up yet?

a reply to: crazyewok I don't no what a CV is or a resume is ?

originally posted by: dude200181
a reply to: crazyewok I don't no what a CV is or a resume is ?

Better get learning buddy.

Google it.

Can't get a job without a CV

And no job = no girl

a reply to: crazyewok

I know this is going to g0 against the grain of "be responsible and get a job" advocates but there is another approach that worked for me.....

I grew long hair, I learned a few songs on the guitar, I owned a cute dog, I hung out where the hippie girls hung out.

I memorized some very funny jokes to break the ice and start conversations. "Hey, wanna hear a funny joke" is the best pickup line there is!!! This technique might not work for long term relationships but if shallow, casual sex and one night stands is something that might interest you....it works, they will pick you up, btw....wear protection.

Read the Karma Sutra and learn erotic sexual techniques...the ladies will spread the word among their friends, that you are a good lover and your reputation will sky rocket. Sorry about that corny phallic reference.

However...I feel a word of warning is required. You will attract women that are lonely as you are. Many of them have deep seated psychological issues that will drag you into their lives and make you miserable.

Sometimes just for fun and to see if this technique still works in the current cultural milieu; I go to starbucks or a bar and give it a try....it does!
I am much older, paunchy, bald, myopic, but it doesn't seem to matter much....the moral of this story is that; People and women in particular, want to be noticed and appreciated with attention. Give it to them with grace, style and sincerity.

a reply to: dude200181

Dear Dude200181 - anxiety can be the most disabling problem in the world. It prevents you from taking part in anything.

First - it's never too late to find a girlfriend. And it's never too late to find friends. And sometimes they happen all at the same time. A friend can turn into a girlfriend.

There can be other issues that go hand in hand with anxiety such as learning disorders, etc. But there are jobs you can try.

One that jumped to mind (if you like animals) is to go work in a pet store. There is lots of work behind the scenes so it's not all about interacting with people constantly. Also, if you end up talking to customers they have no interest in talking or seeing an employee of the store - they only have interest in the animals. So in a way it makes interacting with people easier because you just answer their questions. And it's basic info. You can do part time and ease in.

I have anxiety, sometimes it's harsh and disabling and other times I am free from it. But some tricks I have learned are:
- remember when you were little and you would approach other kids and just offer to play or ask if you could play? How easy that was! Kids don't have all the garbage in their heads as adults do but the technique still works.
- the majority of people out in the world are overwhelmed, have anxiety themselves, have thoughts running through their minds, feel nervous and so I always beat my anxiety by offering to help in any way or to lessen their anxiety by cracking jokes or just a happy smile. I find by my focusing on easing their fears that mine disappear. You have to get the focus off you and onto someone/something else. Try this - it works!
- learn how to breath during an attack or an impending nervous moment. This works wonders. Sounds hokey but it helps.
- Volunteers. Again, you could volunteer at an animal shelter or the library or with children. Working with children is awesome because they are pure and they just want to play and have fun. You don't have to be anyone to them - just yourself. And by interacting with children you have to interact with the adults and usually in such an environment the adults will pick up on your shyness, anxiety, etc and naturally just accept who you are.

Work can be fun. You have your work life which is a place you can interact with others and run to when you're fed up with home. And at the end of a work day you get to run to home for quiet and "me time". It's a good balance.

Take some baby steps. And keep in mind if you choose to venture out you are not leaving home forever, you are still all in one piece and you have the safety of your home if things get too big. Right now the anxiety is controlling you. You are not the one in control. I know you know that but this is something I have to repeat to myself and my daughter who suffers even worse.

Big hugs and you can do anything you set your mind to.

a reply to: ccseagull hey man thanks that was good read

Get a guitar and spend all the free time you have playing it. Seriously! Not only will you have an outlet to deal with your anxiety and emotions you will also gain confidence. You will no longer be afraid to approach people because you don't know what to say or how to act. Something about that sound brings people to you. Now the shoe is on the other foot, they have to break the ice and approach you and you have the advantage of knowing what they are most likely going to talk to you about. Use your neurosis to create. I promise your life can be what you want it to be. I have seen it happen! I identify as Tree now, and I am in love with a nice little piece of Swamp Ash, but am married to an old hunk of mahogany.

My nephew left school because of his awkwardness. He was bullied, has a light brown birthmark on his chin that he thought people judged him over. He is average height but very skinny, and has a very timid or scared demeanor, or I should say had. He had no real friends, never left his room, and was going nowhere. He hated it but didn't know it. He is super smart, handsome, tech savvy, funny, long sandy blonde hair with bright blue eyes. All attributes that many women find desireable but all he saw was what he didn't like about himself.

First things first when dealing with relationships you have to deal with the fact that it is a selfish act. You don't really love someone because of how they look or who they are. What you really love is how they make YOU feel about YOU. It is ok to be selfish with who you share your life with because when it comes down to it that is what it is all about. Does she say and do things that make me like me?

Now to put that little pearl to work. You now know that if you like them because they make you like yourself, then it must be exactly the same for them. They like you because of the way you make them feel about themselves. Basically if they have a birthmark on their chin they probably do not like it therefore you tell them how you like their birthmark, how it's beautiful and makes them interesting and you like that. Use this power wisely, and remember... Do no harm!

Bet you are wondering what happened to my Nephew. At about your age he decided he wanted to make a change. Like many others have already mentioned. He got a warehouse job and that was his guitar. That led to him wanting to drive, now he has a really sexy car(which the girls like too *2nd guitar)! Now he has more confidence has friends, even girl ones, real actual girl ones. He still chooses to game a lot at spend mucho time online but now it is a choice for him, not the only thing. You can have the life you want, just take it!

a reply to: wastedown

I promise your life can be what you want it to be. I have seen it happen! I identify as Tree now, and I am in love with a nice little piece of Swamp Ash, but am married to an old hunk of mahogany.

The brotherhood of wire and wood is what makes life worth living. Spiritual transcendence is nothing to be trifled with!

Get better at video games and go pro, some counterstrike dudes just won a bunch of dough and they even used auto snipes like noobs

originally posted by: dude200181
a reply to: TechniXcality I play videogames most of the day like mabey 8 hours or more everyday and that's about it really.

I was a late bloomer myself hung out with the girls as friends through high school but none were my girl friends.Was a virgin at your age still and no hope in sight I always worked but there were never women where I worked. Been married half a lifetime now to a wonderful woman.

A job, any job will change your life son. You go apply for a job at Walmart and when you work do a good job don't look down on your job, all work is worthy and good, when you talk to people don't talk about you, only talk about them.

People like people who take an interest in them make an effort to make others feel good about themselves and they will like you. You can talk about yourself when you get to know someone well, until then be a mystery, don't tell them your pain tell as little as possible about you.

Walmart has a free counseling program I believe I know it used to, a friend was really helped by them during a hard time. Don't be ashamed of getting help.

a reply to: TechniXcality

If I was near you I'd take you out bar crawling with me you could be my virgin wingman that's a conversation starter at least.

We don't all drink and we don't all want to meet people in bars either.

a reply to: dude200181

1. clean up your space, you never know when you might want to ask someone over. The last thing you want is a dirty car and a messy place. It can be a deal breaker.

2. Stretch, do as many pushups as you can..stretch..wait 10m do as many as you can stretch..wait 10-15 mins ..do as many as you can. Do this every other day and put your arms in different positions. In about a month your chest will be draped over your abs and your arms will be twice as wide around. You will feel much stronger. You will be much stronger. Girls love that, just like we like it when they are in decent shape. They notice. Girls notice your shoes more than your face. Georgeous girls will sleep with very ugly men, looks just do not matter as much to them overall, with some exceptions of course.

3. Dress as nice as you can, do not overdress. Always be clean, smell good, brush your teeth after eating or smoking. Flauss.
4. Sign up to zoosk or match or a reputible dating site. Go out to bars, churches,libraires, volunteer, social events.. Smile and inteoduce yourself. Read a joke book or ten. Pick funny non controversial jokes at first. Pool joints are good because you have the game to play and talk about as your mutual comfort level increases that takes about 20 minutes. Ask girls if they want to be your pool partner. Buy them one drink, no more. Ask her if you can call her and ask her out. Be cool about it if they say no.

Rember : You only need one to say yes and you're in like Flynn. Keep asking do not let the no's get you down. It's hard at first but train yourself to let no bounce off. You have to do this, or it is emotionally devastating. Do not let 100 nos stop you. 101 might become your wife.

If she says no, bounce to another bar and try again. If you go out, talk to five to seven women at least. I bet you get at least one number.

Do not drink too much, two or three..nursed.. You are there to hunt..not get too drunk. No weed, your eyes will be red and you will make bad eye contact and all the subtle visual queues and microexpressions will be a tiny bit out of wack.

Eye contact is very important., Stare just a second too long, smile, then look away, not down. It is good if it is a little obvious, but don't gawk. Don't make her feel uncomfortable, just appreciated. Don't look back until she does. Then..approach. Hesitate now, and it's over before it began.

Your line is : Hi, I'm [name]. What's your name?

Smile. Make a joke. Ask her something..Listen to what she says. Tell a joke..question, showing that you were actually listening..tell another joke ..questions...music she likes? Sports fan?..If she likes and you don't..do both of you a favor and ..next. If you're still there.do something..dance pool drink make a toast..whatever..ask her a little more about herself..not her job. If she asks you something answer, but be brief. A bit vaugue ( Oh, I do stuff ). Don't boast. Don't lie. Be a little Mysterious. Try your best not to look at or talk to her tits. You will fail at this. That is ok. Make an effort. She will see you making an effort. That is good. An uncalled for smile from her is a good sign. Ask for her number. Put it your phone right then. Text her right there. Tell her you will call her tomorrow and aks when would be the best time. Send her a text later on anyway, but not too late, and tell her how much you enjoyed meeting her.

Have another drink or two, have fun. Don't try too hard to close the deal tonight. If that's possible, you will know it. Your space is tidy and ready, even if it's your parents basement. I boned a lot of chicks in my folks basement...with no job...at 24. I was in school, I worked off and on..didnt waste money so I had a little..never a lot...but enough to have a little fun.

The date : You pick the place or thing let her pick the time. Day dates are great..sailboat rental..rollerblades ..walk in the park..art gallery..museum. outdoor concert..not festival ..yet. Nothing too expensive, restaurant in your budget..mow a few yards..spread mulch rake leaves make a little money..it's enough. Not too high end, not McD's. Drink or two, ask her what she wants. Tell the waiter what she will have and then what you will have. Eat, don't talk too much..use your manners. Relax. Don't talk too loud. Look her in the eye a lot now. Ask her questions listen..follow up questions..Feed her some of your food. Let her feed you back. Smile at her..make her laugh. Pay the check..tip 20% unless she complains about the service..then tip 15%.

Offer her an escort to her car/ drive her home. Kiss her. Don't be to pushy or too shy. If you go in for the kiss and you get a cheek..take it with a smile. Thank her for a nice time and split. Call her the next day and ask her out again. Repeat x2. If your not kissing after that..next.

If she doesn't look nice for you on your first date, or she is more than 20 minutes late with notice let this be the last date. She's milking you for free food and drinks. Chicks do that. Don't let it get you down. Cut it short..You gotta thing..cya. Fail to text back right away. You can say what you feel like at this point..but remain a gentleman..she may poison other girls against you. Chicks can be very vindictive, even if they werent that into you and you cut it short first.

"Well, this doesnt seem like it was important to you..You were late etc. I don't think we clicked that well. If she appologizes and seems sincere, let her take you out next time. You aren't easy and you're not a meal ticket. That date..expect to get tounged.

At this point, even with a few false starts, nature will be taking its course. You don't need to rush in for the sex like all the media would have us believe. You need to find out if she is a psycho kitty first. If she is, it will out by the third or forth date. if she is, if your built in pyscho kittydar is going off...listen to it..and click to the next chick please. Let it take it's own time. When it's working, you both will know it.

Best advice I ever got with women was Michal Jordan, who said : " You will miss every shot that you don't take"

When I say next, it's not a justification to be mean. Be polite, if you, don't call..it's usually enough. If she calls ..just say thanks but no thanks..we didn't click. Take care..and thanks.

If and when you meet a good one even if she isnt 100%..seriously think about marrying her. Ben Franklin said this and I think he was right. It's easier to adjust to your differences when you are younger. And you have less baggage to deal with. If she cheats on you but doesn't leave, forgive her.

When you disagree, try to remain calm. If you can't break off, cool down, come back. Be sorry you got upset, but don't automatically cave in. Work out a solution..it not easy, it is worth it. If she hits you, run.

As you get older, the pickins get slimmer and sooner than you think, only the psycho kitties are left, or ones with another dudes kids, you will maybe not like them..even if you like her. They may not like you much either. Lions, among other animals, often kill off all cubs that are not theres when they take over the pride...just saying..If you like her existing kids, you're beating the odds.

Wish I had known that at 24.

Good hunting.

originally posted by: dude200181
a reply to: TechniXcality I play videogames most of the day like mabey 8 hours or more everyday and that's about it really.

You are your own problem. Turn the video games and computer off and go outside. Soak up some sun, get a job and get a life. Nothing will ever happen if you never leave the house. You either BS'ing all of us or your depressed with mental problems. Get out and see a doctor and go from there. Your probably not eating healthy and you never go outside in the sun which means your probably low on so many essential vitamins and minerals which can make you depressed. Video games and computer life are not reality. Fix your head and get out and live life, because before you know it, its passed us by.

originally posted by: dude200181
Hi all I never had a girlfriend and I am 24 years old what should I do about it. I also have no friends in real life

Avoid girls at all costs. I've come to learn you can only ever have Womanfriends. and there is a difference.

a reply to: dude200181

The real question is are you happy? As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter. If you're not happy, then yeah change something. Change lots of things. Until you're happy. It doesn't mean go get a GF or a life, whatever that means.

a reply to: dude200181

There is enough good advice in this thread to turn you into a real ladies man.

Time to get up off your butt and take action then tell us of your adventures.

If you take the advice given....you won't have time to post much at all.

Best of Luck amigo....

a reply to: dude200181

I have pretty serious anxiety, too. Pull yourself up by the boot straps and GO DO THINGS.

Talking to someone in real life is absolutely, no BS, 100%, exactly like typing to us here on ATS.