I really feel your pain, I've lost my sister last year because of this.
For her it all started about 5 years ago after she had an operation (gastric bypass), because she had put on an enormous amount of weight in mere
months, probably because of anti-depressants she took. After that operation she was never the same again.
She did exactly what your wife does, binch-drink till she passed out in her bed the whole day. After a while she didn't even get out of the bed
anymore to release bodily fluids. More then once I got a call from her panicked boyfriend in the morning on his way to work, which she had bought a
house with, to go find her lying in her bed covered in filth.
We succeeded in admitting her to a hospital about 6 or 7 times, for about a month and a half each time. She got out sober everytime, but started
picking up the drinking again mostly after a day or so and then relapse into her previous situation.
Now, she had psychological problems ofcourse, mostly concerning our mildly abusive father back in the day, but she took on more and more problems the
further in she got, basically every little things got worse and worse in her mind the further along she went. Eventually it reached a point where
because of the operation she went through, her liver was about toast and she was warned that at any time she started drinking again she could die.
This helped her maybe a fair amount, as she eventually seperated from her boyfriend and went on to rent an appartment close to me. Everything seemed
to be going in the right direction till one day, while still moving into her new appartment, I got that dreadfull call from my mother, who also lived
close by, screaming that she had not been heard of in 3 days and that I had to go check on her.
To make this short, I had to call police to bust in the door, only to find her there lying in her sofa, void of life. I couldn't even see her because
as they stated, it was a hideous sight to see and they did not wish for me to have to watch her like that.
This probably doesn't help you, but it might be usefull in finding parallels.
Antabuse did help her at times when we took her in our home ourselves but it seems it lost efficacy after a while because she just started drinking
through it, even after us mildly forcing her to take the pills.
I can offer no simple advice, other then to be there for her every step of the way, as opposed to what other people say to leave her to fend for her
own. That is something I still blame myself for to this day, not being there enough for her.
I suppose it'll all be relevant to the deeper psychological problems your wife may be having. Tantamount is to find out what it is ofcourse, although
I can admit that this is no easy matter if she won't open up. My sister never opened up to her psychologists neither, and only in little amounts to me
and my mother.
Alcoholism is a very very very tough project. If you can, without losing your own job or income along the way, I would suggest spending as much time
with her as you possibly can to find out the deeper problems and offer her all the love she needs. One of the problems my sister had was that, as a
midwife, she worked very different hours from her boyfriend, which led to them not really being able to spend enough time together. This loneliness
was probably one of the main catalysts to her going for the bottle.
Also try and include as many of her friends as possible in the process, not so much for prying out the problems in her head but just to make her feel
wanted and needed and loved. I remember times when she was asking for hugs and I denied her, stating that she had to clean up her act first, but that
only seemed to work against the cure.
I sincerely hope, from the bottom of my heart, that your wife can pull through this. Seek as much advice as you can get because as I said before, it's
a very very nasty disease. Also don't neglect yourself, because it takes a huge toll on you as well.
edit on 8/4/2016 by Balans because: spelling