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This is a shoutout to all the deadbeat moms

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posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 06:54 PM
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Sorry about your situation, all you can do is keep on keepin on.

I was in a similar situation, only my wife was/is a pathological liar.

The best thing I ever did for myself was freeing myself of her.




posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 07:02 PM
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a reply to: Schmoe1223

I hear that.

It's tough though. Today, she crapped out on having our son over for her weekend, because she didn't "have any money to feed him."

Then she posted a meme on Facebook about 'wild women" who "drink whiskey, love sex, and rock the single mom" thing, while "working 3 jobs" to "do what she has to do to be a "superhero to her kids."

I almost fell out of my chair.

But I have to be cool and stay quiet about it until our divorce is final, otherwise she might get spiteful.



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 07:28 PM
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a reply to: 0zzymand0s

About 8 years ago, my sons mother decided she didn't want to be married anymore. Our son was 3 years old at the time. No debt, no drinking, no drugs, no abuse, I actually thought we were a happy family for the most part. About 4 weeks prior I was bragging to my friends about what lucky guy I was, then I got hit with a bombshell.

Anyhow she started acting flaky and going out with a group of her friends, ( Bad influence group), but I though it would pass, so I gave her her space. One day I confronted her about why she was spending so much time away from home, and that we needed more time as a family. She looked at me and said "I want a divorce". At first I thought she was kidding, but then as I looked into her eyes a terrible feeling came over me.

She literally packed her bags and was out of the house in 24 hours. She didn't want counseling or anything else, just out and then stonewalled.

I was left with a 3 year old to take care of, and an ultimatum of divorce.

I decided the best thing now was to focus on our son, because clearly she didn't give a crap. I remember that spring on Mother's day our son waited, on the porch, for his mother to come and pick him up. I remember it was a beautiful day, and he had made her a special homemade card, and present.

She never showed, so I said to him " You know Momma probably got tied up, and is working so let's go down to the park and kick the soccer ball around." Within about 10 minutes his sad face lit up and smiles everywhere.

She never even called, or said she was sorry.

There would be many more circumstances, in his life, that would mimic this one, so I learn how to shield him and make things as good as I could.

I have never disenfranchised his mother once, even though there were times I was extremely angry at her. My son didn't deserve any of this, so I was absolutely going to take the high road on everything.

Fast-forward to today. He is 11 years old now and is a well adjusted young man, who is thankful and compassionate. The only thing children want is love from their parents, and when they can't get it from both, then I figured he would get it from me, and as time has progress taking the high road has definite been the best investment I could have ever made.

Peace to you brother things will work out. Take that high road for your children, and eating crow sometimes is part of the deal, but don't be a doormat. ( extra salt and hot sauce helps. )





edit on 8-4-2016 by Realtruth because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 07:36 PM
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a reply to: Realtruth

You (and other men like you) are my model here. It's hard sometimes, but I keep my mouth shut (around the kids anyway).

I want to unfriend her on Facebook so I don't have to see her shenanigans, but until that final court order, I am doing what I must to NOT rock the boat.



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 07:39 PM
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a reply to: 0zzymand0s

Another piece of advice, I can offer, is when you get the numb feeling all over, get the hell out of the house and go for a walk.

Try to work out at least 20 to 30 minutes a day, it will take the edge off of everything going on. And take your mind off things for just a short bit.

The endorphin's from working out are 50 times better than any alcohol, or prescription mood stabilizers.




posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 07:47 PM
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originally posted by: 0zzymand0s
a reply to: Realtruth

You (and other men like you) are my model here. It's hard sometimes, but I keep my mouth shut (around the kids anyway).

I want to unfriend her on Facebook so I don't have to see her shenanigans, but until that final court order, I am doing what I must to NOT rock the boat.


Narcissism and delusion, in our society, is at an all time high and Facebook is re-enforcing this 100 times.
Facebook's slogan should be " That's enough about me now, let's talk about me."

I would keep your enemy close, do unfriend her no matter what. And keep good notes too.


I saw things, and heard things I never wanted to see, but I knew the only person I could control was myself so that's exactly what I did.

Again things are going to go well for you, if you take the road you have already chosen. The children will love and respect you for it as time moves on.



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 08:07 PM
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originally posted by: 0zzymand0s
a reply to: Schmoe1223

I hear that.

It's tough though. Today, she crapped out on having our son over for her weekend, because she didn't "have any money to feed him."

Then she posted a meme on Facebook about 'wild women" who "drink whiskey, love sex, and rock the single mom" thing, while "working 3 jobs" to "do what she has to do to be a "superhero to her kids."

I almost fell out of my chair.

But I have to be cool and stay quiet about it until our divorce is final, otherwise she might get spiteful.


Wow, I filled with rage reading that, I can't even imagine how you feel. I knew a similar person once, ironic enough she was a friend of my wife. This woman is about 50 years old, but you'd think she was about 18. I saw more maturity in my 2 year old. I don't think there's any fixing those types of "people."

ETA: I admire the way you've handled everything, there's no way I'd be capable of not blowing up.
edit on 8-4-2016 by Schmoe1223 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 08:19 PM
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Getting a divorce is one thing......... but leaving your kids is entirely another. Some day they will figure all this out. They will figure out how you've protected them, and how she abandoned them for her own immature and selfish reasons.
(If they haven't already, they might believe they are protecting you from what they already know.)

You are doing the right thing. They will resent her someday. They probably already do.

Take care. My best to you and your family.



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 09:08 PM
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a reply to: ladyinwaiting

That's the thing though. I really don't want them to resent here. As another poster already noted on page 1, that would be a hollow victory indeed.

I hear what you are saying though. I wish it didn't have to be like this. Sure, go, I don't own you. But please, please, please always be there for our kids.



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 09:24 PM
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originally posted by: TheConstruKctionofLight
a reply to: 0zzymand0s

And yet your kids deserve the truth later on. We all get abandoned at some point in our lives. Be strong, love your kids its worth it. If your ex is >50 years, surely you children are old enough to know the truth?


Why is the truth better "later on".

I am wondering when it is time to throw everything into the open and demand people face the garbage they sow.

This does not happen because of some honor system , a system that is the actual cause of the continuation of the garbage.

Everyone is too afraid the children will be harmed, they are being harmed just as bad if not worse by a slow continuous torture and experiences.



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 09:47 PM
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a reply to: 0zzymand0s

logged on just to say I'm proud that your kids had one parent who held true love for them and is working hard and giving them the best life possible.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, but the love of a family , and the happiness it brings is what life is all about.

Maybe someday the mom will regret it , sadly it will be too late for her .



posted on Apr, 8 2016 @ 11:21 PM
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Toughen up buttercup. It's time you focus on the kids and not her. It's obvious she still hurts you. Might I suggest boning a few women yourself?



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 01:47 AM
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originally posted by: 0zzymand0s
Today, she crapped out on having our son over for her weekend, because she didn't "have any money to feed him."

Then she posted a meme on Facebook about 'wild women" who "drink whiskey, love sex, and rock the single mom" thing, while "working 3 jobs" to "do what she has to do to be a "superhero to her kids."




Screenshot screenshot screenshot!! I would even consider going to a Notary's office and having them view, print and notarize the screenshots with you for later use if needed.



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 02:07 AM
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a reply to: 0zzymand0s

You and me both, homie.
Stay strong. Pain is temporary.
Go find yourself a good woman.
I suggest a foreign one.



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 02:39 AM
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Never good to read these stories
Real sorry for you buddy. I been on most sides of this story since I was and still today. If your kids are as decent as you they will grow to not hate thier Mum, but maybe love you more. Need a shoulder? Can dudes offer this? In my signature you can contact me. I know ways to stack up your side, for your kids, if you need help

Hope you are hanging in buddy



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 02:43 AM
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originally posted by: Realtruth
a reply to: 0zzymand0s

Another piece of advice, I can offer, is when you get the numb feeling all over, get the hell out of the house and go for a walk.

Try to work out at least 20 to 30 minutes a day, it will take the edge off of everything going on. And take your mind off things for just a short bit.

The endorphin's from working out are 50 times better than any alcohol, or prescription mood stabilizers.



Great advice, channel your emotions into something., anything that gives you reason to see tomorrow. I do boxing training every day and it keeps mr disciplined.



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 02:48 AM
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originally posted by: 0zzymand0s
a reply to: ladyinwaiting

That's the thing though. I really don't want them to resent here. As another poster already noted on page 1, that would be a hollow victory indeed.

I hear what you are saying though. I wish it didn't have to be like this. Sure, go, I don't own you. But please, please, please always be there for our kids.


I could hate both my parents. Both are re-married after divorce when I was an 18 yrar old Dad. Today 42 years old, 4 kids and happy. If I can get through it, trust me, so can you mate....I am the kid in the boat. And cool how others are sharing, this helps anyone suffering or fighting still..
deliberatedonkey.wordpress.com...



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 04:03 AM
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originally posted by: 0zzymand0s
This topic gets a lot of attention in the media, but very little of it is ever aimed at deadbeat moms.

You know who you are.

You got tired of being tied down to one man when you turned 50. You made excuses. You lied and stepped outside the boundaries and when you got caught, wouldn't get any help for your faulty, disorganized thinking.

You split on your teenage kids, and left them with their dad. He carried on, raising them while working more than full time, while you ran off to join the circus. You, who refuse to pay for anything because your child support order isn't final. You -- who tells your son, "let's do something fun this weekend because your dad is too busy or can't afford it."

You are a piece of work

You prioritize acting like a teenager, running around 3-5 nights a week, juggling boyfriends and using them for money. You bring that nonsense back to your home on the rare days (4 days a month) when you actually bother being a parent.

You have no idea how your kids are doing in school. They are doing fine, by the way, no thanks to you. Yeah, they had a tough adjustment when you took off, and I had to change my work schedule to accommodate a far more hands-on deck approach. I got them counselling. I make sure they have a warm bed and a roof over their head. I help with their homework and insist they meet their obligations before they play. I feed them 26 days a month. I buy all their clothes, and pay all their medical co-pays.

You are a barfly, and I hope it doesn't all catch up to you because I know the kids ADORE you, and I don't ever want them to know how much you have hurt us.

I can do it without you, because I have no other option. My voice is marginalized because we don't fit the profile. Everyone admits this happens but because the problem is mostly dad-based, historically, it is deemphasized in the courts and in in society.

But I'll always know who you are, and I'll always know what you did.

If I am strong, the kids will never know the truth, because that would hurt them more than my fake smile and policy of never speaking ill of you in front of them or where they can find out about it.

I come here to vent because no one knows I read or post here.


This is almost precisely my story, except in my case my three kids don't adore their mother, they are mostly angry at her. As a lawyer, I see this so much -- the woman jumps to the opportunity to abandon her family. Statistically, women who have a child support obligation are deadbeats 44% of the time while men wind up as deadbeats in 32% of cases. www.foxnews.com...

They will lie through their teeth in court, feign sadness and even cry on the witness stand, but the fact remains that in 20 years of being in the distasteful field of law I see substantially more women who commit domestic violence than men. However, in the last few years, I've noticed a big increase in contrived "domestic violence" situations that were clearly set-ups against the male partner. I even had one client whose wrist was broken by his wife but he got charged with domestic violence because he pushed her away AFTER she broke it. And yes I will say it -- the judges are almost always profoundly stupid and believe the whining little girl. My disgust with the entire facade is at an all time high.



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 04:18 AM
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Good on you, OP. You're one of those men that I very much look up to. Not every man (or woman!) could put up with being a single parent, especially unexpectedly, and take on all of the expenses and responsibilities for themself.

As a single teen Mum I was in a *slightly* similar situation. But it was my choice to leave my child's father. He was abusive... but I found someone who was willing to help share my life & the responsibilities associated with it and we are now happy together. Certainly don't lose hope that you will one day find someone to help keep you and your son company (if that's what you want, of course).

I do have to say one thing. And I don't AT ALL condone what these women have done in the stories I have read on this thread. It is heartless to leave your family, marriage and life with such short notice, and no thought to what you are leaving other people with to deal with on their own.

BUT, in saying that, I have many times considered just running away from my life (I never would though, just considered the possibility). I'm sure everyone has at one stage. So I do understand why SOME people just need a 'break' from it all. Of course, up and starting a WHOLE new life is different. But leaving for a few weeks, to get away from it all, when it becomes a bit too much (especially if suffering from depression or a similar mental illness), can be understandable. Sometimes it all becomes too much and people need to 'recharge'.

But I don't think this has happened in your case and I wholeheartedly sympathise you and applaud you for your strength and courage. Keep up the great work, your children will appreciate you for it in the future!



posted on Apr, 9 2016 @ 05:25 AM
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a reply to: 0zzymand0s

But, but, but .. it's only men who do this!

(right)

Keep fighting the good fight, for your kids. Some people respect soldiers. I respect men like you who take a chance on a woman, start a family, and stick by your kids no matter what. Keep fighting the good fight.



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