Is 50 the New 40 for Moms?

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Many women have put off having children for careers.

My best friend (since I was 4) was told when she was 13 that a physical problem negated the possibility she would ever have a child. Yet, 10 years after I had my child, she became pregnant. A perfectly healthy, I think, miracle baby.

For others, their lives were interrupted. I had one child before I divorced and really wanted to focus on my one child. She is gone off to college and I am definitely not 50. So, I think...maybe. Or, maybe not.

Oddly., when I had my last Mirena appointment, my 35 yr old (about) male gynecologist asked me if next time I would entertain having my 'tubes tied'. My jaw dropped. I was actually frozen in place for 2 full minutes. Then I said to him... that I am not ready for that and I will not have an elective surgery to that end. I wondered if he had lost his mind. I have stayed with the same practice, but see a different gynecologist there now.

Medical expertise in regard to women having babies later has definitely improved. As we live longer, we should be able to have children later. Not every woman will be able to, naturally, but many will. Many will be able to utilize in vitro fertilization. Many will not have menopause until 65 or 70.

I did see a news story where a woman very near 70 had a baby in the last year or so. A healthy baby. If she has a good family to help support this, many 70 year old women do NOT look like you remember gramma looking , acting and might have a much higher level of activity and be a perfectly fit parent.

I believe I should have the choice until I am physically and/or mentally unable.

What do you all think?

Janet Jackson might soon become the new symbol of the rise of the 50-year-old mom.

a reply to: reldra

I think more power to you, and that any woman brave enough to be a mother (regardless of age) is respected by me and valued as its altruistic and helps form our society.

a reply to: TechniXcality
Good and sensitive answer, Tech

So what do you think a normal 30 (or 40-year old) would be doing right now in regards to children? Giving birth? I think my parents were in their 30's when they had me as a child, back in the 80's. I think that we are definitely going to see some older women getting pregnant, just because the health and life expectancy of the first world is increasing.

I am a man, however, and I am struggling financially although I am going back to college for the second time. I have dated, but not been in serious enough of a relationship to have a child - I would like to be much better off financially first. I think that it is going to be at least 5 more years before that happens, so I would be 35. Hopefully by this point, I will have completed my second degree (which was more career-oriented) and landed a livable job by then.

Marrying someone, buying a house and having kids are all really important to me, however, these are hard things to do for me. It seems like girls are a natural at these sorts of things, they are lucky.

I might end up marrying a younger (or older) woman so who knows.

From what I've seen statistically, children born to a mother over 30 have a greater likelihood of birth defects. And age of parents do play a part in children's development, in regards to outdoor activities ect.

What it comes down to is the availability of the parents to be active and engaged with their young child's needs and energy.

For the record, I'm male, 35. My wife is 30. We both have careers, our son is 20 months, and we are thinking about trying for the next one.

originally posted by: randomtangentsrme
From what I've seen statistically, children born to a mother over 30 have a greater likelihood of birth defects. And age of parents do play a part in children's development, in regards to outdoor activities ect.

What it comes down to is the availability of the parents to be active and engaged with their young child's needs and energy.

For the record, I'm male, 35. My wife is 30. We both have careers, our son is 20 months, and we are thinking about trying for the next one.

I tried to address that in the OP. Birth defects are down for women who have children later, due to better medical care. The highest risk was always Down;s Syndrome. Women are more active later in life, than before. This includes being able to get up in the night for a baby and go outside and play with a child.

The Mayo clinic says

However, most children with Down syndrome are born to women under age 35 because younger women have far more babies.

source They do also say the risk is greater with age, but it seems that both statements are true.


Statistics actually start looking at risks at 35 and over. Not at 30 and over.

a reply to: reldra

I think people, women especially will do what they wish, in regards to their own lives, and well-being, health and everything else. Especially if they are allowed to, without judgement from any particular side.

As information is more readily available, and people start to do their own research into things, all manner of things will be happening.

As society grows, and expands, as it is now "normal" is getting a wider, and wider birth of meaning.

It used to be "normal" that stores closed at around 10 pm, and the sidewalks were rolled up, except for the bars; However society changed, and we have a 24 hour-a-day civilization now.

Just as it was normal to have children in ones 20's, now maybe the normal will change, maybe it'll be 30's and 40's, taking the first few decades of ones life to live, and gain experince, etc.

Who knows.. I'm all for people being free, and knowledgeable to do what they wish, especially when it comes to their own life.

More power to you!

I am in my 50's and my doctor says I have the body and weight of a 30 year old.

So for men 50 is the new 30.

I had my daughter when I was 41. Luckily, she was normal healthy baby. I didn't intend to get pregnant, but it was a happy surprise. When I missed my monthly cycle, I honestly thought I was going into early menopause. It didn't occur to me that I could be pregnant. So many women I knew who were my age were going through fertility treatments to get pregnant. After the second missed month, I mentioned to my husband I thought I was going through menopause, and he just looked at me and said, "have you taken a pregnancy test?". I thought he was crazy - at 40? Sure enough, I was pregnant.

I think if a woman is healthy enough to get pregnant and wants to have a child, more power to her. I was healthy and fit, so raising a toddler in my 40's was no big deal. But I will say, I had no desire to be raising more than one toddler in my 40's, so I asked my husband to get a vasectomy.

a reply to: reldra

People have always had the freedom to choose to have children at whatever age they wanted to.

Society shouldn't ever be a factor.

imho