a reply to: flice
I'm NOT a psychiatric professional so take whatever I say as just opinion from the only knowledge I have and that is what you've provided so far in
I agree with the poster above who said it 'sounded' like depression. Is there a history?
Listen I know it can seem futile at times. Let me dissect your OP somewhat to get my point across and offer another point of view.
No, you cannot 'take it with you' but, you can offer some security to those left behind in the form of medical bills being paid, any debt, burial
expenses, etc. You may even be able to leave your children a little purse to kickstart their lives and or the lives of your grandchildren.
People can be very shallow but, there is nothing wrong (IMO) with being able to enjoy the finer things in life if you are able to afford it or it is
something you desire. Some folks couldn't care less. My parents, for example, did not care about amassing wealth or having always new things. They
liked having things that were paid for.
I agree with MOST TV being a waste. Books, however, there MAY be your escape...albeit a brief one.
Outside is key...fresh air, exercise, enjoying the beauty of nature and your surroundings.
Perhaps you are 'underperforming' at work because you've grown stagnant in that particular position or vocation and could look into something new?
Maybe something that you are interested in that you never dreamed you could make a living doing?
Please don't wish a disease or death upon yourself. As someone who lost both parents who fears everyday that they 'just didn't quite know' how
important and life sustaining they were to me, please, don't even dream of bringing that suffering on those that you love. The damage could be
Please think of talking with someone neutral. Do you have a physician that you are comfortable with?
I'm NOT advocating drugs just talking to someone, perhaps.
Midlife crisis is real, IMO, and although some folks may think that you are too young for that...it could be...but, you won't know for sure if you
ignore it or spiral down so low that you can't be reached.
Good luck to you! To answer your question. Yes, I have felt that way and sometimes quite often. I believe it is all worth it in the end. I have to