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Never use a public defender

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posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:36 AM
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Saying no 2 snowflakes are the same sounds more special than related fact no 2 poops are the same




posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:38 AM
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I won $10 on powerball, I'm taking the annuity rather than the lump sum.



posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:39 AM
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You know the economy is bad when hookers offer "companionship- 10 weeks same as cash"



posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:40 AM
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Sometimes I worry that extraterrestrials feel alienated.



posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:41 AM
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I wasn't going to extort the Pope but ya know what they say "when in Rome"



posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:42 AM
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Why do they call it toothpaste and not teethpaste? People with one tooth don't brush their teeth, that's how they got 1 tooth!



posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:43 AM
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Am I paranoid for thinking that i phone's siri is Syrian? Why does she know so much? Is she planning something?



posted on Apr, 5 2016 @ 12:44 AM
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The first rule of Sam's warehouse club is you do not talk about Sam's warehouse club



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