Dealing—Forever—With Ignorant People...

This may make me sound like a social snob, but how much can a person take?

I was walking home from my job late one night and this white girl was walking along the road, yakking on her cell phone to a friend of hers, constantly using the N-word to refer to herself and her friend (who was probably also white.) Not that black kids should see themselves as undesirable or worthless, but why white kids would want to join them in belittling themselves is beyond me. With the racism that black kids probably face there may be some legitimate feelings of cultural low self-esteem, but in spoiled white kids? These are the people who choose to leave garbage scattered over their yard and air all their dirty laundry to the community while spending their money on drugs and alcohol. Then there are people who are smart, strong-willed and resourceful but who waste their talents on cheating the system and living the lifestyle of a good-for-nothing punk, holding onto their grudges like a psychological armour they carry around, or like decorative battle scars. These people never work through their issues; they bare them with pride. They stare at me coldly as I pass by, and if I look back at them, they just keep staring, completely un-phased (no self-respect!) One time I found out that this woman whom I caught staring at me while I worked one night actually spoke to a friend of mine and called me creepy! ME....

Where I live right now, I just don't get these tenants below me. No exaggeration, every time this guy slams his car door the couch vibrates under me and my window rattles (and I'm on the 2'nd floor!) Every single time he or his teenage daughter closes the front door it goes WHAM! with as much force as they can muster. They never did this until I told them that I work by night and need to sleep by day. At first, as they retaliated for the request, becoming much louder than they were, I would leave notes or wait around for them and ask them again. They would be nice to my face, but after a couple days it would start up again. After a while I just gave up. Of course they don't talk, they YELL. They don't laugh, they SHRIEK. There is a polite lady renting beside them and a nice French couple beside me. Despite them, we all show respect for one-another. These people though, they never, ever let up. They THUMP THUMP THUMP up the stairs, SLAM the door, start the car engine, SLAM the car door, SLAM the front door, THUMP THUMP THUMP back down the stairs, SLAM their apartment door and wait for the car to heat up...I just ignore this but sometimes I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of me listening to classical music while writing on my computer while they are WAILING away in what might be called 'scream laughter.'

Everything about these people seems exaggerated. And if you think I'm being too hard on them I should point out that they have stolen my mail on two occasions and pulled petty practical jokes on me, such as opening the dryer while my clothes are drying so that when I came for my laundry I saw that the door was open and my clothes are soaked, and there was no time to dry them before work. Annoying!

Ever been stuck on a noisy school bus as a kid (or an adult) and found yourself begging for God to rescue you? I've been there, and sometimes I feel like I'm still there...part of me feels like I am being a snob here, complaining about people who lack my social graces, but another part of me feels that these people are simply bullies who just do it because they can, and I think I'm right. The problem is, there really isn't anything you can do. You can try talking to them, but then what, threaten them? Drag the police into your petty-sounding problems? Allow yourself to get worked up over it? No, you take a deep breath, smile or laugh it off, and go back to activities you enjoy. But that's all you can do...

I have to deal with ignorant people at work, where I clean floors at a grocery store. They don't even know me but they gossip on about me being all sorts of things they hear about me, partially from a disgruntled cashier who did everything in her power to destroy me for no reason whatsoever! Competitors in my field of work also spread rumours about me which got me fired from a job I did a great job in and prevented me from getting hired from two other companies! An ex-employer of mine even tried to help me, explaining to one such company that I am a wonderful, hard-working and reliable worker, yet all he heard about me was that I was lazy, unreliable and did a horrible job! "We will not hire someone like HIM" the owner said! All of this from the HATRED of people who know NOTHING about me! People want business contracts for themselves, so they walk over their competition by the power of the mouth. I apparently stand out, plus no one in this town knows me, so the people I work near (in the same building as) run with the rumours they hear and shuffle them around, twisting my words and actions into absurd stories...like I'm still back in friggin high school!

I can't be the only one dealing with ignorant employees, neighbors, competitors and complete strangers. Don't you sometimes feel like you're stuck on a school bus with a bunch of overgrown children who keep poking you on and on and on, while you just keep saying, "Please don't do that," over and over to no prevail? Don't you just sometimes feel like grabbing them by the neck, slamming them into wall and blowing off the steam (which they created) back into their face? Wouldn't that feel damn good? HELL YEAH! But you don't do it, do you? And you know why not: you MUST know you are better than them, because that's your only reward in this...

Maybe I need a punching bag...


What is wrong with these people?? Honest to God, they're CRAZY!

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Some of what you describe is due to the toxic lyrics of the hip hop and rap music listened to by most young people of all races. If you listen to the 'songs' these people listen to you will understand the brainwashing and liberal use of the n-word. It is a very real problem.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

just learn to filter, and ive learned to actually stop caring about the majority of people..

originally posted by: Metallicus
a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Some of what you describe is due to the toxic lyrics of the hip hop and rap music listened to by most young people of all races. If you listen to the 'songs' these people listen to you will understand the brainwashing and liberal use of the n-word. It is a very real problem.

To be fair, white people were making music like that long before hip hop came about. Ever heard of minstrel shows? Or "C__n Music", which was literally an American genre of music at the end of the 1800s to the early 1900s?
And I'm sure you know Agatha Christie, right? If so, I'm sure you know the uncensored title of her book that's called "And then There Were None" in America? (note: for those who don't know, the original title is "10 Little N_ggers". They censor it in many countries like the US and call it "10 Little Indians in other countries.) And I'm sure you also know the name of Edison's first movie, too? Because it was an adaption of Agatha Christie's book that I just mentioned.

Edit: Just pointing out that it's ridiculous to act like the incident in the OP could've only happened because of hip hop. They could've learned that anywhere, including from their own families. BTW, those songs I posted are just a few of the many that are on youtube, so it's not like they're being hidden either.

I live in an apartment building of 12 apartments and the things some people do (or don't do) are baffling to me.
We have this 12 mailbox rectangular block thing out the front, which is very common. Some person actually opens their letterbox, takes out the junk mail and places it on top of the whole mailbox enclosure.
We have 8 large wheelie bins lined up less than 3 metres away that you walk passed to enter the building. Unbelievable.
Another person does the same thing when they get mail that a previous tenant hasn't redirected.
They just sit it on top of the mailboxes.

I think it's almost like these people feel that they are so above junk mail, or mail that shouldn't be addressed to them, that they cannot even put it the bin.
It's like some kind of screwed up passive/aggressive way of protesting.

I used to get really annoyed about it, now it just makes me feel sad.
Sad that some people can be SO incredibly useless.
I think I'll start putting the mail back into their mailboxes, sounds like a fair response.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Their use of the N word is just a result of the microcosms of social cultures. You shouldn't let it bother you so much. People can change and they do. These people can also work through their issues if you give them time. It sounds like you've been treated a bit unfairly in employment etc perhaps you have some issues to work through too? Increased irritability about the things you describe is usually a sign that you need to do a bit of self reflection and healing. At least your neighbours sound happy! I admit it's really hard living in close proximity to people who we would rather avoid but it can actually be quite insightful to get over your issue and turn it around into a positive thing

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Every single time he or his teenage daughter closes the front door it goes WHAM! with as much force as they can muster.

Ah, yes; the antisocial door slammer. Very common customer in the world of private rented accommodation. You have my sympathy.

If it's any consolation, I have lived - and suffered - under similar circumstances for many years. There's not a lot you can do except, if it gets too much, move out. No permanent solution unless you buy a big house in some remote countryside...but who can afford to do that these days?

Where I live now, it's mercifully quiet. But it's a strange, unsettling quiet, based on the understanding that if I make a noise, it gives my neighbours permission to make a noise. These buildings were quickly erected and poorly built, with no thought as to the privacy of the occupants and the need for soundproofing...I can clearly hear the bloke above me washing up and making a hot drink. And it must be the same for him, of course.

And, much as I love this time of year, there's a knotted feeling in my stomach as I contemplate the approaching increase in noise...drum n bass blasting from cars full of young knobheads, the general party atmosphere.

Sometimes it's comforting to know that others are suffering too.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

You care so much about other people man. Just let them be, they are non of your business. Yes, society sucks now a days but you have to understand, there is nothing that you can do about it.

Just ignore all the fake BS, focus on yourself and people you love. Do things you like to do, ignore the rest man.

Be the best person you can, and you will be rewarded for it.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Where I live right now, I just don't get these tenants below me. No exaggeration, every time this guy slams his car door the couch vibrates under me and my window rattles (and I'm on the 2'nd floor!) Every single time he or his teenage daughter closes the front door it goes WHAM! with as much force as they can muster.

Oh man I can relate to this...I'm renting a room out in the country and the housemate next to me constantly slams his door. I don't mind it during the day so much as everyone's in a rush to get to school or work. Although he also does it in the middle of the GD night. I think it's a passive aggressive response to their own issues because according to the tenant he didn't start slamming doors until I arrived.
My solution to the problem was,one night he came home and slammed the door so loud it woke me up at 3am in the morning. I got out of bed and slammed my door a few times as loud as I could for a few minutes.

Since then he's stopped. I think he got my point.

We live in a beautiful 1880's mansion house, just myself and my family. Next door is a house of equal size that has been divided up into six slum apartments, as have many of the other houses on our street and in this area.

The type of people the slum lord rents to I would describe as 'tinks' or 'minkers'. They are slovenly, dirty, untidy inconsiderate bastards for the most part. They leave garbage all over the street, they shout and scream and play loud music, they deliberately park inconsiderately/ park on their lawns etc. The general squalor they create affects the market value of our home.

In addition the slum lord and his scummy tenants complains endlessly about each and every little thing we do on our property and constantly harasses visitors and contractors coming to our home as we have a shared access. In addition he has put up annoying crap like walls and speed bumps along our property line because he does not like the way the rain water flows.

The constant sniping and resentment against us for having nice things and more money than them is so blatant and infantile. We have had this crap thrown at us since we moved in and are now thinking about moving mainly because of these idiots. We try to just let it wash over us most of the time, but it is just too damned annoying to ignore sometimes.

I think the only real defense against these kind of morons is just to move house and hope the next set of neighbours aren't such assholes. In my experience though..There's always one. It's like sod's law or something.

a reply to: enlightenedservant

From what I understand, black people never called themselves that before Ice Cube and other hip-hop artists made it common. The same with calling women "bitches." This is what I've learned from black people.

a reply to: daftpink

I'm not really angry about the N-word usage. It's really just an example of what confuses me about these people. I would not walk around saying I was a piece of crap or useless or something. It makes no sense at all.

I have been overcoming issues from my past. I've been taking a pill to remove my anxiety and am trying to allow myself to heal from a childhood trauma, but this isn't exactly easy, given my current situation/s. I wish I was surrounded by more mature people...

You may be right in theory, although I have been through so much that I am quite numb and really need to get away and heal.

a reply to: CJCrawley

These people are the same way. If I start playing music they feel the uncontrollable urge to start BLASTING music to completely drown mine out. The only way they go quiet is if I start talking on the phone! Nosy bastards.

a reply to: Alphaz

Good advice, thanks. Sometimes doing this is easy actually, other times I do get annoyed.

a reply to: NateTheAnimator

I've considered doing that, as I return from work around 3 AM myself. However, it would also wake up my good neighbors...

a reply to: angus1745

I guess you're right. Sometimes all you can do is to stay as positive as you and work towards exiting the problem.

a reply to: LoneCloudHopper2

Your frustration is understandable awhile back I lived in a 2 bedroom apt of a complex of 4 with 3 other families. I'm white and they were Mexican and the kids and parents knew English, but the grandparents didn't (the families all shared a 2 bedroom somehow). So anyways, we didn't talk too much.
They would drink beer and barbecue 3-5 times a week and leave piles of beer cans all over the place.
We had to share 1 carport, and I have a 2004 vw r32 so I began parking it in the road, risking the sun damage because it was better than what happened to my boyfriends (then perfect) 01 Audi s4. It mysteriously formed handlebar heighth scratches and dents all along the doors while parked under the carport where the children played, while the adults (including the grandmas) smoked a pack of cigarettes and drank 10 beers in their lawn chairs on the side. It was absolutely unbelievably to witness, as I have vivid memories of being quite literally screamed at by my mom if I was ever near anyone's property playing, period.
Once there was a dirty diaper sitting in the driveway; another time a pair of track pants hung from the fire hydrant on the sidewalk.
There would be rotting half eaten gas station sandwiches and burritos laying around, endless cigarette butts, bottles,fast food waste, etc. Twice our packages got stolen- both times were brand new and somewhat expensive spark plugs for my car. Sometimes their kids would invite their 5-7th grade age friends to smoke cigarettes on our staircase, and laughed at me when I asked them to leave.
The second week I had my new puppy I took him outside for a leak and the kids couldn't see me sitting on the staircase as he sniffed a bush. They shot their toy darts at him -which was harmless- but to me the principle of the matter was at hand, and when I stood up and turned the corner to confront the boy he had a deer in the headlights moment so I knew he meant malice. So I wasn't upset necessarily at the act, but irritated at the fact that kids these days find that sort of thing entertaining.
My boyfriend had an extra skateboard he didn't want and asked me how long I figured it would sit downstairs next to the laundry room before being stolen, and he said the kids would be better off with it anyways. So I said less than 1 night and was right. Go figure, I left my laundry basket for an hour or two downstairs and it was stolen. It was like $2.
Authentic Mexican music blasting until 1 am, weeknight or weekend, didn't matter.
Mini dirt bikes for the kids non stop
Constant screaming, banging, fights beside us, babies screaming bloody murder below us, parents screaming at everybody.
Anyways, when you move, it will be that much sweeter, and that's what makes life so awesome! You tough some crappy stuff for awhile and then once you're almost out of that valley, you emerge with more patience and appreciation good luck, God bless!

a reply to: golddogtoy77

Wow, you were through a lot as well, I see.

Sorry for the late reply. I was busy moving and adjusting to a new town, a new job.

Phew.