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BREAKING: Army scientists successfully 'teleport' Soldiers

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posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:19 PM
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originally posted by: CantStandIt
a reply to: Jonjonj

Actually, I did have a similar thought... put the teleporter in the hands of the peaceable populous, who will be charged with zapping the bullies, warmongers and violent criminals off to the martian landscape or some such.


Exactly what I tried to say. Just anything to make it a bit less unbearable, for a while. A joke to show the human side and all that. I don't know, I usually have a great sense of humour, this tested me.







posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:22 PM
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originally posted by: Zaphod58
a reply to: Jonjonj

It's on an Army website, what do you expect?


I know. Some of the finest minds on the planet work for military with regards to tech and stuff. But damn they could hire a few more comedians I reckon!




posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:24 PM
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a reply to: Snarl

It is April Fools day so, you know...



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:25 PM
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a reply to: 0zzymand0s

I truly do look on the bright side. Look, this is me, looking on the bright side!




posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:26 PM
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originally posted by: reldra

originally posted by: Jonjonj
a reply to: peck420

Yeah I guess, my point was simply that they could have chosen something less...I don't know...more hopeful. All day every day we get war and stuff, damn mindset is killing us. I get it, I really do, it just struck a nerve is all.



I think they meant to strike, more of a funny bone, and aimed it at people like us. A good attempt I think


Lol, you said strike and aimed...I lolled.




posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:29 PM
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This can't seriously be an official site of the US military, could it?

Like seriously, if it is, 'only in America'! What other country in the world would allow a government site to go to such extremes for an April fools joke?

... that's awesome, lol.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:29 PM
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a reply to: Snarl

This is a good way to reveal something using soft disclosure ("Don't say we never told you!!") the black military ops have already been doing for years by making it sound like an April Fools joke.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:39 PM
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a reply to: Subaeruginosa

They do it every year. There was another one earlier today about a new Army uniform that is accident proof and glows bright yellow.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:39 PM
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originally posted by: Subaeruginosa
This can't seriously be an official site of the US military, could it?

Like seriously, if it is, 'only in America'! What other country in the world would allow a government site to go to such extremes for an April fools joke?

... that's awesome, lol.


That was my reaction as well. I get the joke and everything, but I mean really? I suppose it is a question of taste, and I am just a tasteless barsteward. Hey ho and all that.




posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:39 PM
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On a serious note,if this had been true,would change the world drastically.Why truck,train or fly goods and people,who needs cars anymore really.That's 4 entire industries off the bat.How this would change the normal person's life is up for conjecture.
I'm from Nyc,Long Island area and wished every morning I could just teleport to the office than sitting on the Long Island expressway and doubt I was the only one thinking that.
edit on CDTFripm5561 by TDawg61 because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:40 PM
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Maybe I'm getting old and even more cynical...

but jeez.. this is getting old too.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:40 PM
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originally posted by: Zaphod58
a reply to: Subaeruginosa

They do it every year. There was another one earlier today about a new Army uniform that is accident proof and glows bright yellow.


Now see that is funny! The idea is funny, it ridicules them in a way that makes us mere mortals laugh. Or at least, that is how I see it.




posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 05:44 PM
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a reply to: Snarl
Just imagine this is actually true and the only reason the government released it is because it's April Fool's Day so they know it'll be treated like a joke?



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 06:04 PM
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Hope they cleared out the flies first





posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 06:07 PM
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April fools day is such a stupid friggin "holiday". People play lame assed practical jokes on each other... its obnoxious. It's stupid. In fact all Holidays are stupid.
Except all the ones you get a day off for. I'm for days off. Lots of days off.
I like Festivus though? I think this year, I'm erecting an aluminum pole because it has light weight but high tensile strength. Festivus for the rest of us. They'll be the airing of grievances and then Aunt Mable has to pin me to the floor...she now has a colostomy bag so it might get interesting.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 06:27 PM
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This story would be even funnier if it were true ! ! !



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 06:28 PM
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originally posted by: HUMBLEONE
April fools day is such a stupid friggin "holiday". People play lame assed practical jokes on each other... its obnoxious. It's stupid. In fact all Holidays are stupid.
Except all the ones you get a day off for. I'm for days off. Lots of days off.
I like Festivus though? I think this year, I'm erecting an aluminum pole because it has light weight but high tensile strength. Festivus for the rest of us. They'll be the airing of grievances and then Aunt Mable has to pin me to the floor...she now has a colostomy bag so it might get interesting.


This is truly undecipherable. Thanks!




posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 06:55 PM
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a reply to: Snarl

I've no doubt that one day this will be a real headline in the news as there is ongoing research in this field which, hopefully, will eventually yield the desired results.

But not today mate, looks like the Army does actually have a sense of humour and decided to take the piss, which they did a fine job of btw.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 07:03 PM
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a reply to: Snarl

The military always has the cool toys.

This reminds me of the time they came up with the cloaking device for aircraft.



Good times.



posted on Apr, 1 2016 @ 08:02 PM
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originally posted by: Snarl
.mil website link


Army scientists have successfully "teleported" a fully equipped squad from a Massachusetts research and development facility to a training area in Germany, the Natick Soldier Systems Center (NSSC) announced today.


I know they've been working on this for a while. Maybe we won't have to spend so much $$$ keeping our troops posted in foreign lands. zzzzzzt and they're right behind you.


Officials at Natick were elated by the event, which promises to one day revolutionize the way that American troops and equipment are transported around the globe. It also could ultimately make overseas bases obsolete as forces are instead moved from U.S. soil to remote trouble spots in the blink of an eye.



According to Storm, a device not unlike the "flux capacitor" seen in the "Back to the Future" movie series was employed during the experiment. This led to immediate speculation that the Army was also working on time travel, but time travel requirements of generating 1.21 gigawatts is no trivial feat.

"We're only concerned with place, not time," said Storm, a twinkle in his eye. "This development could change the entire course of human history."

The Task Force expects to report its initial findings by April 1, 2017.


This was a story that couldn't wait for tomorrow.

-Cheers
Snarl



Of course, it couldn't wait for tomorrow!



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