Blood letting and the blood letters (a vampire story)

After I became a vampire my memories of my life before became fuzzy and irrelevant to a point. As I was flying through the cold night sky I tried to wrap my mind around them again but couldn't. Something was driving me to go forward, just forward. I didn't know where I was flying to on this freezing cold night at midnight. I was on a kind of autopilot. I just hoped it wasn't her again.

She called to me through my subconscious like she had a grip on me. When she called I became useless. I think that's why whenever I find myself flying toward an unknown destination in the dead of night my mind wonders to the fuzziest of the thoughts of my previous life, to a time when I had control. I have no control now. She calls. I answer.

We had both been human once. We had been in love and used to playfully tease one another about how our love would last for ever and how we would always be together. How cruel that fate would take our innocent words and use them against us. This was not the eternity we had in mind. Once when I was looking deeply into her soft and alive eyes I thought I could never love another as deeply and I was right.

Her thrall called to me through the distance and I answered with haste. It had been 150 years since her last call. I began to think she had forgotten me but on this night I knew again what I always suspected. I would never be free. I would never know peace. Nor did I want to if the truth in my soul were to be told.

Tonight was the night of the blood letting. Tonight I would fill her up with my blood and she would fill me up with hers and it would be like we were both being reborn but first I have to pass through the blood letters storm and survive. If I do survive I will I be allowed to blood let with my vampire angel and we will be renewed. If I don't survive then it was never love and her and I will both turn to dust.

I can't tell you how to pass through a storm. The storm can last a moment or a hundred years. Its like looking at yourself through a dirty mirror and having to face what you see. The first part of the storm is when you realize what you've become and an emptiness that is beyond description fills you as all the emotions you think you possess leave you almost simultaneously and you remember who you really are now. I remember that I'm an un-dead soulless shell incapable of real feelings and all the warm emotions I've felt since turning are nothing but a cold lie in a dead body. Once you remember the truth you have to decide if you want to go on. In place of a tear, I cry dust.

In her thrall, flying faster than a hawk over snow covered roof tops with chimneys and smoke, dodging power cables and tv aerials in that chilly night air, I didn't care that all the feelings in my chest were a lie. I wanted the blood letting and I chose the storm because I wanted her and only her. Only a few more moments now before I would be clear of the town and start to cover the lonely distance to the far mountains. The mountains where she lived.

But before that I had to pass the seven trials of the storm, just like I had nine times before already and would again.

As I flew over the last roof and left the familiarity of the town I had called my homehunting ground for the past century and a half and as the glow from the last fire in the last window faded from view giving way to only the light of the full silvery moon, my first trial had begun and I started to remember I was an un-dead soul. The blood letters storm was taking me. I had to hold on to my thoughts and my love for her or I wouldn't make it.

The seven trails of the blood letters storm, number one, remember you're a vampire. Number two, remember your lust for human blood. Number three, illusion or reality. Number four, face oblivion for half an hour. Number five, overcome your worst fear. Number six, lost and number seven, does it ever end?

I'm dead inside. I realize that now. Its easier to face now that I'm going through it for the tenth time. I'm a vampire and vampires have no feelings and that's what's been done to me. The first time I had to remember who I now was, with passing through my first storm I wanted to feel pain and grief. I longed to feel something and then I began to understand and I remembered but it took me sweet moments. Vampires long to feel but they cannot which makes them long to feel even more and that is the situation which can drive a vampire into the dust. I can no longer feel because I am dead but what I do still have are the memories of feelings and to this I cling. I remember her and I remember something like fire in my gut. I passed through my first trial. I remember I'm empty and hollow but I also remember love.

I now start to feel hungry but if I stop for food now at this stage of the storm I will turn to dust. Trial two begins.

To be contd.

(Yawn, tired now going to bed.)

Wow that was great! Can't wait to read more!