How do you order your McDonald's?

I usually order mine like this...

"Yes, I'd like to order a really crummy Big Mac with the smallest patties possible; if you could make them extra dry and completely flavorless that would be great."

"I'd also like an order of room - temperature fries that taste like unsalted paper pulp, and if you could put mine in the refrigerator for a few minutes that would be even better...or maybe drizzle some ice water on them first so they're nice and soggy along with being cold, devoid of texture...and flavorless, that'd be awesome."

"Then, if it's no trouble, I'd also like to repeat my order to you several times while you struggle to translate my English into your native Somalian tongue in order to ring me up. I'd then like to pay you $8 dollars for this wonderful meal and have you count my change back incoherently. And the perfect finish to my culinary experience would be if I could go stand 'over there' and wait for about 10 minutes for my number to be called with 20 other angry people , and then get to experience the joy of your coworker getting my order wrong after all of this and have to pull out my phone to Google the Somalian equivalent of my correct order contents to your manager who seemingly understands you perfectly, but nary a word I say."

I've found that ordering thusly at McDonald's greatly improves my overall experience as it keeps my expectations in perfect synchronization with reality.

That is all.

Hungover and rarely.....

Like this:






See anything there? Exactly.

I've noticed that some McDonald's have three drive thru windows now. I've also figured out why.

One to take your money.
One to hand you food.
One to hand your food back in so they can fix your order.

Thus is my typical experience.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Hey now, these people deserve $15/hour to do all that for you!

This is why I never go to McD's unless I am starving to death.

I know a certain way to order so as to get completely free food at many fast food places, but that secret is mine

Does McDonald still has a farm?
Or is that the old one?

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I'll be honest... I haven't ordered McDonald's for years! My friends and I used to go through their Drive-Thru and order stupid things, like McNuggets with a slice of cheese on top, or a chocolate sundae without the sundae (Essentially, chocolate syrup).

Though, I am quite partial to their chocolate thickshakes. One thing they have never failed for me; always thick, always chocolatey, always guiltily pleasant... I might need to go grab one after work today, thanks.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I like to order Mozzarella Sticks with no cheese

Oddly, I've never in my life received neither anything but fresh (in terms of FF anyway) stuff or the wrong stuff, from any FF joint. The only time we walked out of somewhere with a to-go bag that ended up being wrong, it was entirely our fault for grabbing the bag & hurrying out without making sure it was even ours (it was for the person next to us, and they flagged us down in the parking lot to swap bags)

Oh, and they really DO have hot mustard sauce for your mcnuggets. You just have to learn how to reply properly when they ask what kind of sauce you want...

Me - "I'd like hot mustard sauce, please"

Them - "BBQ?"

Me - "No, hot mustard"

Them - "Ah okay...BBQ"

Me - "No NO, hot mustard sauce...not that one!"

Them - "Ah! sweet sour sauce!"

Me - "NOoooooooo...hot...must-ard...sauce!!

Them - "Honey mustard sauce?"

Me - "NO! HOT MUSTARD SAUCE!!!!"

Them - "Ah! BBQ!....uhhh, oh, you want Soy sauce, okay, I get"

Me - WHAT??? You don't even HAVE Soy sauce!!! What the hell are you talking about??? I want HOT MUSTARD SAUCE!!! It's the one in that bin right there under your left hand!"

Them - "This one?" (holding up BBQ sauce)

Me - "No, the next one over!"

Them - "Ahhhh! Sweet sour sauce, right?" (holding up BBQ sauce again)

Me - "Next person who offers me BBQ sauce is going to cause a HOMICIDE!!! HOT MUSTARD SAUCE, DAMMIT!!!"

Them - "You wan BBQ sauce???"

Me - IIIIIEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! (sigh)...yes, BBQ sauce."

Them - "Okay, we no understand you. We give you hot mustard sauce, okay? You go now."

How do I order McDonalds?



hahahahahaha*silly jedi*hahahahahahahaha

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk



That sort of reminds me of this:

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Wow, you'd think that in the home country of McDonalds it would be a far smoother experience, with a truly lushest meal to boot.

When I go threw the drive thru, I just usually order a large Auzzie angus meal, with a diet coke for the drink (please).. they get my order right every time and there's nearly always a very polite cute 20 year old litlle blondie serving me... The burger is nearly always made to perfection and tastes awesome.

I don't know? Maybe if they were paid better over there in the US of A you guys would get better service too... lol.

a reply to: Subaeruginosa

Tell that to McDonald's, not the "US of A" (as you put it).

We don't decide how much they get paid!

Plus, "very polite cute 20 year old little blondies" are expressly FORBIDDEN under McDonald's hiring policies here! There is a mandatory 5 year federal penitentiary rap for even interviewing one for employment at McDonald's! Actually "hire" one and it's 35-to-Life in the Big House (the 'grey-bar hilton')!!

ETA...Their hiring policy must expressly state that only foreign minorities who speak less than 5% English will be hired, but morbidly obese minority candidates in stained 4 sizes too small spandex pants may substitute Ebonics for lack of English proficiency.

I order by saying please and then thank you when I receive my food.

I guess its the way I was raised even though the food is over priced even for McDs, it taste like crap and often the order is completely screwed up.


So

To avoid having to lie and say 'Thank you' even though I know I wont mean it nor was it deserved...

I avoid McDs like the plague

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Wow it is like you know you are going to hate it and then go back... but hey it is their fault you decided to order the food right.

I don't understand. The food is terrible, overpriced, service sucks, long waits and it aggravates you when you go there but you continue to patronize the establishment you loathe? Simple solution would be to stop going there and find a Burger King to hate.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I'm not gonna lie, I could eat double cheeseburgers from McDonald's all day. I think it has to do with growing up poor and getting them as a kid was a big deal. Kinda nostalgic for me I suppose.

"Two regular burgers, please."

Works every single time for less than $2.00. No tasteless Big Macs. No soggy fries. No over-priced soft drinks. No junk.

Just a burger on a bun with mustard, ketchup, re-constituted onions, and a couple of pickles. Hits the spot.

You can be competently and cheaply fed at McDonald's if you want to. Or you can be an idiot. If you're dumb enough to struggle through Happy Meals, four or five things for several people, change your mind in the middle of the order, and order a bunch of crap, then you deserve what you get. Of course, you'll blame McDonald's, but what else is new?