a reply to: AboveBoard
I have a really lovely book keeper and an accountant. I have a handle on purchasing, selling, getting receipts, crap like that. Most things handle
themselves where that sort of stuff is concerned. I have a drawer for things I have bought, bills that come in, all that sort of thing. Get a chit,
stuff it in there in date order, pull it out for reference when necessary, blah de blah.
That's simple. I even have a ledger book for all my sales, laid out the way I like so that even the change can be checked at the end of the day,
that's fine. Remembering dates to pay on, PIN to pay with, even remembering to add information to the calendar on my phone the moment that data is
recieved... That I CANNOT achieve worth a CRAP.
Imagine for a a moment, that you are me. You have a toolbag in your hand, filled to bursting with chisels, lock by pass tools, screwdrivers,
flashlight, measuring tape, spare locks, fixings... You turn up to a simple job, should take no more than seconds, SECONDS to complete, like breathing
in and out, like letting out a burp after a beer. Zero effort required.
You lift your hand to your bag to get the tool you need, but before you reach it, you forget which tool to use, when to use it, how to use it, why
you are even there, the universe as a metaphor for the psyche, collapses in on itself, leaving a void. I have no control over it, I have been fighting
crap like that for all my life. Except, of course, the work, the actual work is something I thrive on, that I can actually do well without that void
creeping up on me and destroying my momentum. The hard bit is the bit I can do. The parts I fail at are the easy bits, and I have no control at all
over when my mind will dump itself out like the contents of a ruptured abdomen. The problem is me, my brain, the way it works, and the way it does
At the moment, I feel like the best I can do, which I will keep doing if it kills me, is to stumble from calamity to cataclysm like a halfwit and
hope for the best.
edit on 29-3-2016 by TrueBrit because: Added detail