Diary of someone who needs to learn not to be honest on the first date

Dear Diary,

my grandfather almost never lied. He and my grandmother have been together untill they died. Fortunately gandma was good looking, so grandpa don't had to lie anyway.

My mother only lies when she brings back stuff to the shop where she bought it, after she used that thing and don't needs it anymore. She's a musician and everytime the local music-store has a new tool she likes to play with, she buys it, makes a song with it and then returns it, saying, "nah...it's not as interesting as I thought it would be. Sorry." Then she get's back the money.

Anyway...

Yesterday I went for a date with a guy. He asked me what kind of hobbys I have. I said, "I collect tooth-picks." He gave me a funny look and said, "Ohhh..." Then I thought I better tell him that...well...I said, "no-no-no-no-no! It's not THAT creepy! I only collect my own ones!"
He gave me another funny look and said, "aha..." Then I felt the need to say, "I make little houses with them which I give to my friends as birthday presents." He said, "Ohh..." And I said, "I only finished one, though. I have to collect tooth-picks for another ten years from now on to make another house.". Then he called for the waiter. I said, "Fortunately I don't have much friends. And Heidi is patient enough to wait another ten years for the next one."

He paid for his drink and left the restaurant in a hurry. I don't know why. Just because I have an unusual hobby?

Good night.

a reply to: Willingly

You're lucky he left.
That was cute...find a guy who appreciates cute.

a reply to: Willingly

Come on...

Seriously, this isn't an attempt to dust off your shoulder and carry your high heels for you back home... But who cares. This is not the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with...in fact I did my best to get girls to not like me until I realize they are compassionate of others and understanding with a good heart.... In college I had a big beard and my first social interaction with a girl would be to call them a bitch somehow. If they were mad or offended, piss off, but if they threw it back at me and it went back and forth I knew something was there. Because I knew I wanted someone I could be myself with and joke around all the time with and I didn't want to have to worry about every word I say.

Happily married of 3 years with a beautiful 6mo girl now.

Be your tooth pick collecting self and joke about it... You know it's a little weird but continue being yourself. You don't want to be something you are not.

Good luck.

a reply to: IAMTAT

...find a guy who appreciates cute.

Easier said than done. The last date I had went like this:

The guy asked me, "how are you?" And I said, "I feel like I want to shout out loud....while running naked through the streets... singing...dancing...throwing flowers at everyone with my right had. A little bit like Mohammed Ali mixed with Amy Winehouse and a little bit of me of course. My chest is wide open... I'm holding an invisible sword in my left hand....with it I'm cutting off invisible heads who question me too much."

He didn't even had the countesy to pay for his drink. He ran away immediately.

Well...that's life...

a reply to: Willingly

Though if you just want to get laid...lol ignore everything I just said haha

a reply to: Willingly

Honestly, I would have been completely intrigued by a girl that tells me her hobby is collecting tooth-picks and making houses out of them. Now if you are using them to pick stuff out your teeth and then using them for your collection; I would keep that to myself.

Keep telling guys that you like to collect tooth-picks and make houses and you will eventually find a guy that thinks its awesome.

a reply to: GraffikPleasure

Be your tooth pick collecting self and joke about it... You know it's a little weird but continue being yourself. You don't want to be something you are not.

Good luck.

Thanks for your kind reply. That's very sweet. But actually it was just a story. In fact I collect feathers. I'm proud to call a few very large swan-feathers my own.

a reply to: waggz

Keep telling guys that you like to collect tooth-picks and make houses and you will eventually find a guy that thinks its awesome.

But I lied! I don't collect used tooth-picks! I collect feathers! And I wear one of them in my hair everytime I leave my appartement. That is the truth!

a reply to: Willingly

I simply refuse to believe he didn't find the idea of randomly beheading pedestrians, adorable.

a reply to: Willingly

He didn't even had the countesy to pay for his drink. He ran away immediately.

Have faith, Love. The right guy is waiting for you, so keep looking.

a reply to: Willingly

Well your story about tooth-picks is even more funny as a joke. Especially if you said they were used tooth-picks..lol. The feather part is what I find weird. hahah j/k

a reply to: IAMTAT

I simply refuse to believe he didn't find the idea of randomly beheading pedestrians, adorable.

Understandable. But he wore an Armani suit and drove a Porsche. What else could I have said to get rid of him?

a reply to: donktheclown

Have faith, Love. The right guy is waiting for you, so keep looking.

Nah...I gave up looking some years ago. Now I have an un-healthy obsession with being in love with Bill Hicks.

a reply to: waggz

The feather part is what I find weird.

Me too!

originally posted by: Willingly
a reply to: IAMTAT

I simply refuse to believe he didn't find the idea of randomly beheading pedestrians, adorable.

Understandable. But he wore an Armani suit and drove a Porsche. What else could I have said to get rid of him?

Clearly, you need to start thinking ahead.
That's why I always bring a dead parakeet in a baggie to dinner dates. You never know when you might need to use it.

a reply to: Willingly

But you should have told him that you are making it for the tooth fairy, it would make much more sense...no?

a reply to: IAMTAT

Clearly, you need to start thinking ahead. That's why I always bring a dead parakeet in a baggie to dinner dates. You never know when you might need to use it.

Yeah, your'e right. I should have brought my collection of cut-off billionare pinky-fingers, but that would have exposed me as a pervert. I prefer not to come out before the second date. But I hardly have a second date, so...

a reply to: Op3nM1nd3d

But you should have told him that you are making it for the tooth fairy, it would make much more sense...no?

What are you talking about? There is no tooth-fairy! Santa Claus killed her and must do her job now also!

You seem to know nothing about those kind of thing, dude.

a reply to: Willingly

Perhaps if you told a guy that you are collecting panties instead and are planning to give your collection to the nicest guy out there, you would have a 2nd date?

EDIT: Tooth fairy is real!!!

a reply to: Op3nM1nd3d

Perhaps if you told a guy that you are collecting panties instead and are planning to give your collection to the nicest guy out there, you would have a 2nd date?

You mean those panties I collect from homeless guys?

Tooth fairy is real!!!

No! The tooth fairy is dead!