The gods and goddesses of free stuff. Binderella and other lesser known deities.

Many people may not be aware of these deities but they do exist and if your a fan of free stuff you should be aware of them and remember to say a prayer if you want to get the best free stuff.

These are real and genuine deities here in the UK even though most will not be aware so I am giving you some pretty esoteric info here so take heed.

Binderalla.

Binderella is the goddess of all things found in skips, alley ways and bins in general. Many people in the UK(and I imagine other countries as well) will save money on food and other items by "skip diving".

Heading off in the dead of night to look in the skips of shops and supermarkets for perfectly good food or consumables that is being thrown away because the "sell by date" has expired.

I know many people who live well and eat better than most for free in this way.

A prayer to Binderella before you set off will ensure a fine haul.


The Reduced to clear Fairy.

When you go to a supermarket there will usually be a section where perfectly good food is reduced in price prior to getting put in a skip(see above).

If you like steak at 56p or a bag of salad for 4p then this is the place to go.

A prayer to the reduce to clear fairy on the way to the supermarket will ensure she flies about the supermarket and puts all the things you want in the reduced section with the maximum discount just in time for you to pick up a bargain, always remember to say a prayer though or you may find your journey has been wasted.

The God of Tat.

The only masculine deity in this list.

This is the god of awesome finds in random places.

There is no point in saying a prayer to him as he is masculine and as such does not listen but whenever you find something awesome dropped at the side of the road or come across an antique dining table in a skip outside a house being renovated you can be sure that he is responsible.

To show your respect after such a find you should drink a beer in his honour.

The monitor on my PC is a gift from the god of tat and I found it in a field after a music event, a perfectly working £300 widescreen monitor.

You may laugh and disbelieve but if you take on board this advice then you will have more free stuff than you could shake a stick at.

a reply to: nonspecific

What about Digitus? The god of five-finger discounts?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: nonspecific

What about Digitus? The god of five-finger discounts?

I feel he may violate terms and conditions of the site.

Also he has a habit of dropping you in it when you really do not need the hassle.

originally posted by: nonspecific
Also he has a habit of dropping you in it when you really do not need the hassle.

Which is why I also pray to Tazerus the Mighty who has been known to strike down pursuing security guards attempting to thwart my efforts to obtain more free stuff.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: nonspecific
Also he has a habit of dropping you in it when you really do not need the hassle.

Which is why I also pray to Tazerus the Mighty who has been known to strike down pursuing security guards attempting to thwart my efforts to obtain more free stuff.

I was not aware of this deity, thank you.

This is why I love ATS, you can learn something new every day.

I would like to think he was something of a trickster type god and would tie an unsuspecting security guards shoelaces together right at the point things start falling out of your fake pregnancy belly yet you are too far away from the doors to make a dash for it.

originally posted by: nonspecific
I would like to think he was something of a trickster type god and would tie an unsuspecting security guards shoelaces together right at the point things start falling out of your fake pregnancy belly yet you are too far away from the doors to make a dash for it.

His miracles know no bounds.

Pray to him, he will keep you safe when you leg it.

a reply to: nonspecific

Today, on my daily way through my neigborhood, I fould two apples and a blue-jeans.

If I would be arrogant and picky, I would complain and tell the taylor-deity, "you want me to get fat? Althought with a belt it works. So...thanks!"

I hardly buy me any clothes ever. I get dressed completely (exept underwear and socks and shoes) by the taylor-deity. He/she has good taste. I also have a lot of bags deliverd by that deity.

Yesterday I got a very nice ring at the flee-market from a very lovely lady whom's name is Mary. She told me her name as she admired my huge ring. I bought a silver-ring with a big dark-red stone for 10,- Euro from her.

And from an african shaman I got a golden Nataraj amulet yesterday also.

I get presents almost every day.

THANKS, Maheshvara!

Shivo ham!

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: nonspecific
I would like to think he was something of a trickster type god and would tie an unsuspecting security guards shoelaces together right at the point things start falling out of your fake pregnancy belly yet you are too far away from the doors to make a dash for it.

His miracles know no bounds.

Pray to him, he will keep you safe when you leg it.

My gods and goddesses provide all I need.


I have no need for the god of those who take things that are not free.

originally posted by: nonspecific
I have no need for the god of those who take things that are not free.

To quote that great genius, Nelson Muntz-'Shoplifting is a victimless crime, like punching someone in the dark.'

My God of free stuff is named Billy Ray....

He instructed me to go to the University dorms when the semester is over and the students have gone home. Clothes, laptops, liquor, text books, TVs, and sometime even cars and motorcycles that have been abandoned in the dorm parking lot. And don't forget the dumpsters!!!

a reply to: olaru12

Wait. Are you saying there is free booze in the garbage? I just may start dumpster diving...

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: olaru12

Wait. Are you saying there is free booze in the garbage? I just may start dumpster diving...

Yes, The students can't take it on the plane when flying home to the Hamptons. You will pass up bulky beer for the Jack and Jose.

originally posted by: olaru12
My God of free stuff is named Billy Ray....

He instructed me to go to the University dorms when the semester is over and the students have gone home. Clothes, laptops, liquor, text books, TVs, and sometime even cars and motorcycles that have been abandoned in the dorm parking lot. And don't forget the dumpsters!!!

I have a few friends in Edinburgh that once a year hit the skips when the University kids go home and make a tidy profit from selling all the stuff they cannot be bothered to take back to mummy and daddies.

In my neigborhood we have the habit to put out boxes with stuff we don't need anymore with a note on it: Zu verschenken! (For free).

These boxes contain books, clothes, food, dishes, glases, plants, tools, etc. ...so all kinds of things. Everything we don't want or need anymore, we put out on the street to give it away for free. Lots of people do that by now.

Today I put out a huge plasic-bag with clothes that are still okay but don't fit me anymore.

THAT is how it works.

originally posted by: Willingly
In my neigborhood we have the habit to put out boxes with stuff we don't need anymore with a note on it: Zu verschenken! (For free).

These boxes contain books, clothes, food, dishes, glases, plants, tools, etc. ...so all kinds of things. Everything we don't want or need anymore, we put out on the street to give it away for free. Lots of people do that by now.

Today I put out a huge plasic-bag with clothes that are still okay but don't fit me anymore.

THAT is how it works.

It how it should work but sadly does not.

Good work Sir.

Best thread ever. EVER.

For your consideration:
Blumkins: A filthy, embarrassed looking troll in a soiled Armani suit; pray to him when you've been socially slighted and your foe will commit an irredeemable faux-pas in public, usually by passing wind loudly in the middle of a discourse on the shifting left-right political paradigms in new wave indy cinema. Not exactly a god of free stuff, but Blumkins is rad and a good deity to know.

The Nothing At the Back of the Freezer: A lonely, elemental force, the great-grandchild of the Great Nothing Above the North and kissing cousin to the black hole at the center of the galaxy, the NBF will occasionally reward you in exchange for diligent prayer. Open the portal and stare into the Nothing once an hour, craving something for dinner. On the fifth opening and prayer, you may be rewarded with the appearance of month old crumbed steaks hidden behind the frozen spinach, or a raspberry icy that somehow fell out of the carton three years ago, or, if you're really lucky, a few foil wrapped pizza slices.

Ah yes... dumpster diving.

During my impoverished childhood, we used to call that a family outing... Saturday nights with a flashlight in one hand and a nap sack in the other skulking down the back alleys was always a blast.

My brother had a knack for finding the coolest stuff.

a reply to: Unresponsible

Best thread ever. EVER.

One of the best, indeed. I would like to keep it alive. Therefore I give my survival tips away for free. Here is one more:

Go to a flee-market when the market closes soon. You will get a lot of stuff for free by those who don't want to take home their goodies.

In my neigborhood there is a shop, some cathlic organization is running it, unfortunately, but the ladys who run the shop are very nice and friendly. One can buy clothes for an Euro there or give clothes to them one does not need anymore.

Then there are two other shops who do the same thing and are runned by some sort of secular Verein (I don't know the english word for that) and they come to your house and pick up anything you don't need anymore and sell if for low price to the needy ones.

These shops are still not runned and organized by the community itself, because in a big city, where I live in, such thing as a community runned enviroment is nowerdays almost impossible. I mean it's impossible to just get oneself a shop where no rent needs to be payed to do that. What I have in mind is: The citizens, who are interested in such concepts, like I am, should get free space (shops) in the city-owned buildings, IF there are still city-owned buildings left, to take care of the shops that give away stuff for free for those who live in that particular neigborhood.

Imagine: You can go there and get food and clothes and furniture and tools and what not for free, because people gave it away. And the whole thing is NOT organized and runned by suspicious (church) organizations or Vereine, who are not really interested in free-sharing but pretend to help the poor for reasons I assume are just....well...do good and talk about it.

And hostels for homeless people, where they can sleep without being bothered by anybody. Like as if they can spend the night in a hotel. But free of charge.

These ideas are up-comming right now. But it's not enough political power behind it to make it real, yet.

And why paying rent anyway? A fee for maintainance, okay. But rent? WHY? Who claims to own MY city, where I'm born in, and claims to want the citizens to pay rent just to have a place to sleep?

I still don't get the validity of the idea of private property. Although they tried hard to tell me WHY and WHAT FOR private property is such a good idea. It just isn't, IF there is poverty. And there obviously is.

Here, under this premise in this thread, I could post all my essays on the topic: Why capitalism sucks, but true free-market is cool. Although I could open my own thread.

I have lots of solutions for various topics, by the way. Tons of material never published. Not to talk about the plays I have written.

HA!

originally posted by: CranialSponge
My brother had a knack for finding the coolest stuff.

Hookers rolled up in a carpet?

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

Hookers rolled up in a carpet?

Was that your house ?

No wonder he found all the cool stuff... he knew exactly where to go !