I'm anti heterosexual marriage. Yep! Because nobody expressed that kind of stance so far...

a reply to: Willingly

It doesn't matter "why"...it should be an option for everyone.

But I do agree with your implied point that there should be no perks or negative consequences at the governmental level concerning marriage at all--although there needs to be SOMETHING that gives people right to hospital visits, or funeral arrangements, or things like that.

a reply to: AccessDenied

I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm anti-marriage, in that I respect others choice to be married.

I'm not agaist it either. What I'm against is a climate which is too pro-marriage. That's all.

Times have changed and it doesn't hold the importance it once had.

Yes, fortunately that is true. But still there is this....you name it, from the traditionalists. They're concept, marriage, is not considered as working out too well. That they must admit, I think.

This weekend I am going to my grandparent's 60th Wedding Anniversary.

I will never see a 60th wedding anniversary. Does my grandma still love my grandad? I don't think she does, I think it has gone more to caregiver than lover now. He just seems to her annoy more than anything. My poor grandad.

I was against marriage, however I did propose to NonSpecific on the 29th Feb, cos I thought, why not?! I think I did more as an affirmation of commitment to him, than actually the thought of planning and going to a wedding.

I won't believe we will get married until I am actually in front of the registrar saying the words.

I know 3 happy married couples, my parents and my friend Steve and Lindsay who got married after being together for 14 years, and my friends Gemma and Damien who were together for 10 years before they got married. They met when Gemma was 18 and he was her first boyfriend (Awwwww)...

I'm cool with anyone having whatever opinion they want for or against heterosexual or homosexual marriage, as long as they don't infringe anyone else's right to do as they please.

originally posted by: Willingly



1.) In a modern democratic secular society there is no need to marry other than getting tax-reductions. Children who where born by an un-married couple don't have lots of disadvantages in such a society.

First of all, not everybody gets a tax reduction from being married. Many people are punished for being married by their combined income resulting in greater tax liabilities. Also, much of getting married isn't about "need" but "want." Not to mention, convenience of such things as inheritances (and the related tax implications), healthcare decisions, etc. Also, a couple of more indirect factors: longer lifespan and lower car insurance rates. Oh, and even though our form of government is secular, many people are religious, and consider marriage an important component within there religion.

originally posted by: Willingly
2.) The devorce-rates are pretty high in western societies. So why even begin to promise something one can not keep in the long run anyway?

While I understand divorce rates are high (even though they're at their lowest point since the 1960's), why should the failings of some reflect on and affect all? I've accomplished a LOT of things which a MUCH higher percentage of people fail at. Their failures didn't even phase me from trying, let alone result in me failing.

originally posted by: Willingly
3.) I think un-married couples are more happy in the long run. Just my un-educated guess and observation.

Most "happiness" studies/polls point to married people as being signficantly happier than single people. However, most analyses of these also point out that divorced people count as 'single' in most of these studies. Kind of throws another consideration into the mix as to what the numbers really mean. In other words, they're not ideal scientific studies/polls, but usually the numbers aren't even close (married people typically reporting happiness at twice the rate of unmarried people.)

originally posted by: Willingly
4.) Having made the promise is something that will be denied (unconsciously) by the parts who did it, because it has to. People are not the property of someone else. And marriage is such a contract, kinda sorta, that transforms lovers into legalized, govermentally sanctioned entities.

I've actually read this point 4 times and can't figure out what you're saying here, but I'm pretty sure I disagree LOL - just kidding on that part.

Really though, to each their own. If you feel this way, at least you have your reasons (though some of them seem to come from misunderstanding or a lack of knowledge of facts), but, as with all things, at least in the US, I believe everyone should be free to live their lives as they so choose (as long as they're not harming others, of course.) Those who attempt to take away or limit the rights of others, should be treated as enemy combatants/terrorists. I'm not saying those who just wish they could, but those who actually attempt to do so. (Gay or straight doesn't matter.)

a reply to: FamCore

Are you anti-heterosexual or anti-marriage, because those are two very different things and I'm a bit confused since only the very first part of OP talks about heterosexual couples, the rest seems to focus entirely on married/unmarried couples, and as we all know same-sex marriage is commonplace nowadays

It was meant tongue in cheek a bit...

I'm not anti-marriage for anybody. My point is: Think twice about it and study the devorce-rates and ask yourself: Why am I sure I'm not getting devorced? That's all.

Everybody should be able to marry anybody any time, if they like to. Just think twice about it. That's all I'm saying.

a reply to: BigScaryStrawman

I tell people I'm pro-abortion.

They say "you mean pro-choice." (usually condescendingly)

I say "No, I'm pro-abortion. I think everybody should get one."

Men too? Then I'm all for it.

a reply to: SlapMonkey

...although there needs to be SOMETHING that gives people right to hospital visits, or funeral arrangements, or things like that.

I think everybody should be allowed to visit someone in the hospital, no matter if they are just friends or relatives or what ever.

And sure, all can marry along as much as they like. What I'm saying is that a disclaimer is needed, like: Just make sure you really, really mean what you promise and can keep that promise. Because if not, it's gonna be nasty, expensive, disturbing and can cause true real unhappiness for a long period of time.

So, effectively you are anti-marriage, not heterosexual marriage.

Marriage should never be taken lightly, whether straight, gay or whatever preference Tracey Emin claims to be?

a reply to: MrsNonSpecific

Yeah, sometimes it works out, most of the time, nowerdays, it does not.

I just recommend to make sure one marries for the right reasons and is sure one can keep a promise. That's all.

By the way, in my family, there are very little devorces. Only one aunt got devorced. The rest is still....well/un-well...committed...and my two siblings are happily un-married also, just like me.

a reply to: dogstar23

Thanks for your long and considerate reply.

Of course I meant some points I made as thought provoking and not as something I would kill or die for.

Those who attempt to take away or limit the rights of others, should be treated as enemy combatants/terrorists. I'm not saying those who just wish they could, but those who actually attempt to do so. (Gay or straight doesn't matter.)

Who has what "rights" and for what reasons are these considered "rights"?

Annnd...I think the term "terrorists" should not be used lightely. And certainly not in a thread like this, because I obviously am not even remotely related to any kind of terrorism at all. The fact you mentioned that term in this context makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I wonder why.

a reply to: Cobaltic1978

So, effectively you are anti-marriage, not heterosexual marriage.

Marriage should never be taken lightly, whether straight, gay or whatever preference Tracey Emin claims to be?

Actually, I seem to be anti-multi-times-getting-married. Marriage-devorce-marriage-devorce-marriage-devorce-marriage...etc., that's what I think is not too much what the point of marriage is all about.

That's all.

I believe we should just Live and LET LIVE. So what if a heterosexual/gay/lesbian person want to marry someone of their choice,and at least Try to devote their life to one person and be monogamous?

Is life not hard enough just managing our own individual lives-do we Have to worry about or pay so much attention to how others wish to conduct Their incarnations - especially if they are not actively hurting anyone in the process of doing so?

Just leave people alone to do their own thing as long as they are not harming any person or animal or nature,by doing so.

Aka get a life. A life of your own,which is satisfying and busy enough so that you don't have to spend a lot of time thinking of unimportant things like Other People's nuptials?

a reply to: Raxoxane

I believe we should just Live and LET LIVE. So what if a heterosexual/gay/lesbian person want to marry someone of their choice,and at least Try to devote their life to one person and be monogamous?

Is life not hard enough just managing our own individual lives-do we Have to worry about or pay so much attention to how others wish to conduct Their incarnations - especially if they are not actively hurting anyone in the process of doing so?

Just leave people alone to do their own thing as long as they are not harming any person or animal or nature,by doing so.

As I was reading this, I thought, "yeah...I agree completely." But then I read this:

Aka get a life. A life of your own,which is satisfying and busy enough so that you don't have to spend a lot of time thinking of unimportant things like Other People's nuptials?

You mean I need to get a life, like...YOU have, posting on ATS just like I do right now?

a reply to: Willingly
Frankly. I agree with your stance, but for your question "why"; I'd have to say simply for the appearance. I am not a Catholic, but love the appearance of a church wedding. Dressed in a tuxedo and the beautiful love in a dress and attended by a few people. From my side it'd be my mom and a friend or two and perhaps cousins. Nothing big, but very special for what it represents. Marriage may very well cause unhappiness(people figure "hey I already won you, why try"), but I plan on keeping the romance alive.

a reply to: Willingly

You think posting on ATS means we don't have lives???? Good Ctulhu man,this is the first time today i got to sit my ass down and relax a bit! Been busy shopping,eating sushi and prawns and guzzling beer and LMAO with my hubby and kids and their friends. Then got home,unpacked and parcelled the meat for the freezer. Then spent time under the stars with my new Rottweiler puppies and my cats-and this is a slow,easy day.Later i shall make digital art,and publish it. Then i shall help my friends with their online groups. Then i shall tend to my own online group. While listening on YT to lots of things that interest me.

ATS is an important part of my day-but it's not The part,or part of The parts i shall miss,if it had to disappear And i couldn't give a toss Who marries Who - as long as i don't have to clean up after them or listen to nagging and moaning about the pitfalls of their marriages

a reply to: Willingly

I am what I like to call "ANTI-ANTI" which essentially means I am against anyone that tries to tell other people what they can do with their lives. Why can't people just let everyone live their damn lives?

a reply to: Tiamat384

....but I plan on keeping the romance alive.

Good luck with that. I sincerely mean it.

a reply to: Willingly

Tax break for getting married................................That's a myth in my world. There is no such thing. And please no body tell me there is, because I haven't seen any breaks. I'm still laughing from reading that.

a reply to: Metallicus

I am what I like to call "ANTI-ANTI" which essentially means I am against anyone that tries to tell other people what they can do with their lives. Why can't people just let everyone live their damn lives?

That's exactely what I'm wondering about also, companiero.

a reply to: Tarzan the apeman.

Tax break for getting married................................That's a myth in my world. There is no such thing. And please no body tell me there is, because I haven't seen any breaks. I'm still laughing from reading that.

Maybe I'm too old-school already to know that not even tax-reductions are the case when one marries. Ohhh...what a world we live in....The goverment is not lowering your taxes anymore when you marry? Seriously?