a reply to: Atsbhct
I feel like I'm late to this party but I just wanted to let you know, OP, that I like you and I'm a fan of your writing here on ATS.
And that perhaps when you told this guy that he could share your table, he took that as an invite/sign/welcome to converse with you. And that's maybe
what happened here. I have read some of the responses but I didn't see this yet so here it goes.
I know that sometimes smiling at people alone can lead to awkward social interactions, so welcoming someone to your table is like asking for awkward
social interactions times ten. And if I welcomed someone at my table I would probably feel obligated to engage with them for a little while before
politely departing. And it's like, not your fault at all. But sometimes... you give people an inch and they go for the mile (like when you smile at
the opposite sex, they think you want sex- and it goes either way, girl smiles at boy or boy smiles at girl, everyone's imagination runs wild). And
some people don't take hints that you don't want to give them any more inches after you've given them the initial inch.
Anyway so, that's what sounds like happened here a little, anyway. And you weren't too rude, but I don't think he was really rude, either. I think
he was oblivious of your work-mode and instead hopeful of getting your attention... and he took your welcome as an invite to converse with you. And I
think you were oblivious to his probably pretty obvious intentions of getting to know you a little better and I think you are maybe a little oblivious
of the permission that you gave him(even if it was accidental) by accepting him at your table. So next time, just be aware of that exchange of
permission/welcome/invite, if at all possible. Don't welcome strangers to your table if you don't want to be social, or if you do... lay down the law
first. Tell them you're not interested in conversation, be firm.!
Also, I'm pretty paranoid about strangers (who are they, who do they know, are they connected to someone, do they know me? and will they try to hurt
me if I'm unkind or turn into a crazy stalker at any point in my life even if I am kind to them?) so AT FIRST, I'm always pretty nice and engaging.
Not overtly, but I give people chances. And if I get a creep vibe at any point, then I distance myself and I WILL start with the stink eye if the
situation calls for it... but, yeah, so like I said before, if I said it was ok for him to sit at my table and he wanted to have a conversation with
me? I would've had a conversation with him. If I didn't want to have a conversation with him? I would have literally gotten up and given the table
to him, in a gesture of upmost kindness, and moved elsewhere/left.
K. ily. lol.
edit on 23-3-2016 by geezlouise because: (no reason given)