Some people devolpe polite manners and some don't

Hi folks, do you ever feel slighted and even hurt when someone doesn't even acknowledge you took moments of your own time to be helpful? Oh they may like the help... even take credit for what you did for them, but barely acknowledge you took time just for them.
I don't care how small the slight is, some people are polite with manners and some aren't.
Or maybe it's just me.
I grew up poor and I'm not wealthy now, but people have thought I come from money. People have thought I mean or snobbish from my looks alone and then have gotten to know me and are like,'' your not like how I thought you were, you actually really nice!''
Okay now for the craziness... maybe I was a cat in my past life and it's just my nature to be aloof even while doing something nice or helpful for someone.
Maybe I was a Victorian in a past life and that explains my prudish behavior and need for polite and proper behavior ...heck I bet I was a Victorian cat in a past life!
I am overly sensitive at times and I don't like to be all... YOUR WELCOME! To someone who just doesn't have the manners to say.. ''hey thanks for that'' however small or big the nice gesture was.
I'm feeling all but hurt over the smallest thing and just wanted to rant... thanks for reading

Omg are you talking about me because I starred all your posts and I love you! And I was going to respond about your time being a barista and suggest you talk more about it because it sounds interesting. But I basically love my customers generally except the rare few like the one I mentioned so, I like laughing and smiling and prefer it to crying and/or being angry.

Love you. From a distance. Right arrow, three, full stop.

a reply to: peppycat

🙋 I get ya. 😊


Sheesh yesterday sucked for many folks.
Sometimes a simple smile and a nod goes a long way. Or a simple thank you indeed.😺🐈🍕

a reply to: geezlouise Your so sweet.. wasn't talking about you. There was no need for a thank you from you for what I posted on your thread. I'm just really emotional right now and it was something that happened yesterday.

It is nice to be acknowledged and I did wonder if a post by you on your thread about somebody talking about their experience with not liking to be complimented had anything to do with me, but that didn't seem to make sense...

Thank you for being so sweet! But it wasn't you that I'm all out of sorts about.

a reply to: peppycat

Good manners are the way we show respect for others. Too many people these days are self-absorbed and can't be troubled with good manners or simple acts of kindness.

a reply to: peppycat

Well I hope you feel better! I think you're a super rad ats contributor from what I've witnessed. You're non-offensive, playful, but wise.

So you don't have to say but, what happened yesterday?

a reply to: Metallicus I was a kid in the 80's and was never taught by my parents to say thank you. As a teenager in the 90's an adult taught me to say thank you to people. I found it to be a valuable lesson and I am very grateful someone stepped in and taught me this basic lesson. In the early 90's I had more time to reflect on the lesson of gratitude and I wonder if this new technical age of everybody having cell phones computers has something to do with any self absorption that people experience today.

My personal experience of the 80's was weird in that so many of the adults in my life were in some sort of a haze... so the lack of technology back then doesn't explain why teachers and other adults weren't more aware of things.

At the Laundromat today I almost forgot to say thank you to a woman who warned me against a dryer that wasn't working. When I said thank you to her she seemed a little bit happier that I acknowledged her for saving me a bunch of wasted quarters... sometimes the its the little things that count, in my case a bunches of wasted quarters is actually a big thing... being on a lean spot in the month.

a reply to: geezlouise It was such a small thing and I'm really being a baby... maybe it's the rain my area has been having, but the smallest slight has my insides all emotional and I'm sure its more than that... like a bunch of little things and deep rooted issues that aren't clear in my mind.
Your very nice to notice me as an ATS contributer, I feel like I'm not one here a bunch.. so thank you for the kind words.
I remember reading a thread of yours some time ago that seemed to mention something about health problems... if I remember correctly and then the other day for some reason, I wondered if you were okay and it seemed like you hadn't been around... so glad to see you on the boards and hope you are doing well. Your one of the thoughtful posters that stick out in my mind!

originally posted by: peppycat
heck I bet I was a Victorian cat in a past life!

There's nothing weird about expecting politeness. Our current cultural climate is trending towards one that celebrates crassness and rude attitudes in some misguided quest to make American great again.

It will hopefully pass and you can get back to your aristocatic life. Get it? aristocatic? I slay me.

originally posted by: Bigburgh
a reply to: peppycat

🙋 I get ya. 😊


Sheesh yesterday sucked for many folks.
Sometimes a simple smile and a nod goes a long way. Or a simple thank you indeed.😺🐈🍕

I think it was yesterday on here I saw a woman all happy someone got hurt at a trump rally or something... What the heck is wrong with folks! And thank you for the reply!

originally posted by: Abysha

originally posted by: peppycat
heck I bet I was a Victorian cat in a past life!

There's nothing weird about expecting politeness. Our current cultural climate is trending towards one that celebrates crassness and rude attitudes in some misguided quest to make American great again.

It will hopefully pass and you can get back to your aristocatic life. Get it? aristocatic? I slay me.

Lol! The photograph has to be me from yesteryear! Thank you for making me laugh!

a reply to: peppycat

I haven't read your threads or maybe it is because I am old and don't remember or pay attention to who is posting.

That said your words speak to me as well. Thank you is such a simple thing to say and can make the day for someone.

I came from a poor simple country family with a difficult childhood and lived with many people all over just to grow up and graduate high school so never felt okay in the middle class world I married into. But my in laws would give me a hug when coming or going. I learned to love hugs and gave them to most everyone whether they liked it or not. For many this simple gesture can make a difference that says acceptance.

As to being aloof. Just being a quiet person can make one appear aloof. How easily one judges with our projections onto others.

Stay strong and forgive the person who doesn't notice the kindness. You never know what they may going through, where they have come from in life, their culture, etc. Try to feel good within yourself that you have helped.

a reply to: peppycat

Well I'll be damned, you really wondered how I was?

I love you forever no matter what! And I'm glad you're here with your stream of conscious feely posts. I was all emotional like last week and then I got my period and I was like, oh my god that's why I wanted to cry at every cute and even remotely sad thing! I'm such a robot. But in general I'm extremely sensitive to other people socially and I, too, feel all kinds of slights. Some imagined or mistaken/misunderstood, but most of them real. And after too much of that I have to just... turn my eye outwards, away from the self and the pain, and seek out what I love again to gain perspective.

I relate to your story about being taught how to say thank you. There is this one experience in particular that I will never forget where it began... but I really feel like it's a life long lesson in which our appreciation can only deepen. Like even now, I often feel awe-inspired by the notion of being alive at all. And it comes in waves... Like wow, here I am, alive! That's an amazing thing in itself. And I might be poor, but I'm alive! And I have netflix at least, even if it's just for a little while longer!!! lol. Started re-watching arrested development, it's a great distraction. Makes me laugh. Sometimes we all need that mental vacation to help us to let go of all the small stresses even if it's just for 25 minutes. And to stop wanting what we can't have. To start wanting what's already in front of us. And accept our lot and straight up own the beds we made for ourselves!

Yeah. I'm sorry you're down and I'm mostly talking to myself at this point but flattered you thought of me and sorry I got all self centered and thought you were talking about me. Sorry. And I hope you feel better soon and will check up on you later. G'night!

a reply to: liveandlearn Thank you for sharing a bit about your own personal story.
Your very right about me not knowing what the other person is experiencing and going through... very simple yet very wise and it's good to be reminded of that fact that I have no idea what another person's experience is. It's very easy for me to just jump to a conclusion about someone and Lord knows I'm not perfect in my displays of gratitude every waking moment... but it is something I always think about when I have been forgetful in my manners.

a reply to: geezlouise for some reason when someone mentions any health related issues and then I don't see them around the boards... I start to wonder if they are ok.
You certainly weren't just talking to yourself when you wrote about being happy just to be alive! I get the impression if that is you in your avatar.. that your a bit younger than me... but very wise!
It wasn't until my late 30's that I started thinking and feeling wow! Its great to just be existing... no matter what one goes through it seems to me, these days that at least I'm alive and experiencing this great gift of being conscious and I'm especially grateful I have each sense working... I'm a big smeller of things in bloom and even trees like eucalyptus.
Have a good night!

a reply to: peppycat


People forget how to be people, or rather never learned because they never cared to. I dont have great wealth, but I always try to carry myself in the real world with a little class.

What CLASS is;
Being polite,
Being considerate to those who have sentiment and feelings. Who are gentle.

worrying about the well being of others.
Making people feel comfortable. That is what a gentleman is.

Having a noble heart.
Those who sacrifice for others. Their struggle makes them noble.

For everyone else who abuses people who hold these things as truth, who see the benefits these sort of people bring to their lives, YET dont extend the same consideration, who are not noble, and dont know how to be gentlemen....They get the barbaric side a TRUE gentleman can muster like no other.

Its one thing to be intelligent and considerate. The other half of the whole is to be ruthless to wicked men and give no quarter to them in their evil.

The civilized world can not exist if the barbarians are free to enter at its gates. SO, have a ruthless guard at your hearts gate and a polite citizenry in your hearts avenues.

a reply to: peppycat

In that respect you always have to forgive yourself. We all have our hangups and need for validation. Just the knowledge that you helped someone can be validation in itself. I will watch for you, think you are a person I would like to know.

originally posted by: tadaman
a reply to: peppycat


People forget how to be people, or rather never learned because they never cared to. I dont have great wealth, but I always try to carry myself in the real world with a little class.

What CLASS is;
Being polite,
Being considerate to those who have sentiment and feelings. Who are gentle.

worrying about the well being of others.
Making people feel comfortable. That is what a gentleman is.

Having a noble heart.
Those who sacrifice for others. Their struggle makes them noble.

For everyone else who abuses people who hold these things as truth, who see the benefits these sort of people bring to their lives, YET dont extend the same consideration, who are not noble, and dont know how to be gentlemen....They get the barbaric side a TRUE gentleman can muster like no other.

Its one thing to be intelligent and considerate. The other half of the whole is to be ruthless to wicked men and give no quarter to them in their evil.

The civilized world can not exist if the barbarians are free to enter at its gates. SO, have a ruthless guard at your hearts gate and a polite citizenry in your hearts avenues.

Nicely said, for some reason your writing made me think of "If'' by Rudyard Kipling,
www.poetryloverspage.com...

Just to add about the hugs I spoke of

When I first spontaneously hugged my grandmother, one of the people who helped raise me, she giggled in delight. I immediately knew this was not something she was familiar with but made her feel good. I don't recall her or anyone ever hugging me. Just goes to show some of the differences in how people or raised and what they become accustomed to expect.

a reply to: liveandlearn I didn't grow up in a household of huggers so I'm learning still about hugging, it was always a kiss or kiss on the cheek with my parents or older family members. A real kiss, not the fake air kiss. I would have liked to have been a hugging family, because I always felt bad when I would see my older half sibling hug our Dad like it was normal, I thought to myself, why am I so uncomfortable hugging my dad and I would have liked it to be an easy natural thing to at least feel able to do the side hug sort of hug.
Didn't think I would delve into such things! I feel really emotional and I'm getting a sore throat to boot, but your posts made me reflect more deeply on my inner sadness and I thank you for sharing because it's helping me to think more clearly about buried emotions I'm having.