a reply to: onequestion
Okay, then I was right from the beginning- you are referring to impulse control and inhibition, and how even the small exercises in that help to
develop it as a skill or strength, which has effect on even bigger endeavors of self control.
You are right, I think. But I don't think that is the solution to all problems of self control.
Friday I was having a conversation with my son who is in university right now- he is in his last year of studying physics and math, and will be going
into flight school with the french air force soon. But these years have been so extremely difficult in terms of his studies, that he quite simply
could not do anything else! He does nothing but study, night, day, weekends....The results have been excellent, but I remember the first couple of
months, when he called up crying one day, because he couldn't figure out how to do it all. He couldn't figure out how to go out and buy food and
toilet paper, when he is so overloaded with study to do!
Now, he has gained some weight. He's a big guy, tall muscular, ex-rugby player- he hasn't time for sports and muscle melts into fat after a while. He
knows he has to stay in shape for his next step. But so much of what needs to be done he has trouble making time for. But he's figuring it out. And he
is so good at what he's doing now, he can afford to turn his attention a bit to other things. I think that sometimes we can be using up our will power
one place, and there just isn't an endless supply of mental energy.
Anyone who didn't know his story and what he's been doing might be tempted to call him lacking in self discipline, because his weight went over what
he wanted it to. Though they'd be completely unable to use the amount of mental focus he has been doing over papers.
That's why I was confused about "success". Success is relative to goals and intents... and those change, those often have several layers.....
sometimes you think you want to achieve something, and your subconscious wants to achieve a totally different thing. Internal conflicts of this sort
are often the obstacle in self control endeavors (why I bring up animals- because animals are much like our id, body consciousness, subconsciousness,
whatever you wish to call it. )
And how well are you (the conscious aware ego) able to determine when an urge is necessary and needed, or not?
One of my biggest challenges in life was to learn to trust my body. It has wisdom for me, and when I don't listen to it, crap happens. My eating
problems have always been due to my ideas, not my physical urges.
My mind says "Burritos are good!" and totally disregards the murmur of my stomach which says, "yeah, but not right now. I am not hungry. I sense those
calories and fat are more than us organs can transform properly right now...."
I have long held the opinion that the biggest problem today concerning obesity is that in the US we are conditioned to listen to our head, and not our
body. Because that way, ideas can be planted in our head through media, and they can overide all wisdom and common sense input from the body.
Cinnabuns are delishus and irresistable becomes a general static value judgement (god knows our ego LOVES those!!! ) which suddenly wipes out the
subjective and relative exchange of the self with the world.