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Weight loss frustration

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posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 12:44 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

But it seems like this obsession with my weight is making life with others a problem too - my husband and I used to like to go out to restaurants when he came home on weekends... but now we have to stay home because I have to eat my vegetable soup for dinner. It's just getting boring.

I would suggest that for a lasting relationship with food that works, you need to not lose your entertainment. You an go out and order a salad or something fitting there is always something on the menu that is right. Don't make the people around you feel the changes make them permanent long term and don't think rush! This will be life older we get the less calories we need so any diet should be livable everyday including parties, picnics and restaurants.

Four pounds not bad and consider you gained muscle that means considering the heavier muscle you actually lost more fat than you know.

Now personally l find my wife sexy and desirable with the added pounds over the years because she is a wonderful human being and the inside is where I feel in love not the container alone. I doubt your husband is just as he was when you met?

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 12:48 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

Calorie Calculator
This calculator (that I am not advocating I just located) seems to indicate for a moderately active lifestyle you would NOT be consuming enough calories for your activity level? Perhaps? Starvation mode...
Maybe you have just "plateaued" and will get over the hump soon with continued or perhaps even increased physical activity.

You stated that your family won't do activities outdoors with you such as hiking, etc could you join a gym? and meet people with like interests and goals there? Or are there clubs there that you could join?

We have "friends of the ______(insert park name)" and groups that get together to hike/clean up/etc the local parks.
Unfortunately, as we age, we will need to increase (may seem drastic to US) our activity level to twice that...that we had when we were younger to maintain our fitness level and/or lose weight.

Good luck to you! Keep on keepin' on!

edit on 10-3-2016 by TNMockingbird because: spelling and clarification

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 12:50 PM

originally posted by: Bluesma

originally posted by: camain
a reply to: Bluesma

The amount of calories you ingest is relative to body size. If your a small person 1100 calories can be a standard amount for a steady diet. Therefore you would have to cut back more in order to lose weight via that means or increase activity. I guess what I'm saying is if you 4ft 2, and 110 lbs it will be harder for you to lose on 1100 calories then some dude that is 6ft 5 300 lbs.


I don't know, I'm 5ft7, and 145 pounds (ugh, there, i said it). I am finding that eating between 800 and 1100 a day seems to be the limit to what I can take. I am afraid I'll suffer too much fatigue with less!
But maybe you're right. I will try to look up more info.

So at most you are 10 lbs overweight if any!

If you are a 5-foot-7-inch woman, your normal weight is 123 to 136 pounds if you have a small frame, 133 to 147 pounds if you have a medium frame and 143 to 163 pounds if you have a large frame.

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 01:04 PM
I am reading all these replies, and am soaking up the great input, advice, personal anecdotes, etc.!

I keep wanting to respond to each one but I won't be able to right away. (Time for my vegetable soup, which I found delish the first day, horrid the third...).

Just wanted to say thank you to each and let you know I am paying attention.

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 01:23 PM
As was posted by another member...if anything you are about 10 pounds over an optimal weight. That's not bad at all.
I'm mid forties, and this winter has not been kind to my curves. My own fault for overindulging. My husband and I both made a commitment to getting healthier, and as a kickstart we started juicing. Here is a link to our inspiration.
Now my husband went full force juicing all his meals for four days on, one day off. I chose to drink juice for breakfast and lunch and eat a regular dinner. In ten days my husband lost 15 pounds. In one week I lost 4 pounds. Not bad, cause I did cheat and ate some carbs . I wouldn't recommend going full juicing, right away, but perhaps you could do as I did, and supplement breakfast and lunch and then go out with your husband and/ or friends for dinner? If the weight loss is becoming an obsession that is making you miserable and feeling like you cannot enjoy life, what is the point?

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 01:32 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

I AM HAVING THE SAME PROBLEM!!! Seriously, last July, I started swimming, walking, then started doing this "couch to 5K" app on my phone. In 9 months I've only lost about 5 or 6 pounds. And when I say swimming, I mean swimming a mile several times a week, jogging the other days. It's incredibly frustrating and I don't know what else I can do???

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 01:38 PM

originally posted by: BluesmaA couple months after quitting, I went into a weightloss mode. I have been carefully calculating my calorie intake at no more than 1100 a day, usually less. I eat no bread, pasta, dairy, or fatty foods, no sugar. Basically lots of vegetables, fruit, and some fish or turkey. I drink tons of water, green tea, Rooibos, herbal teas.... I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day, varying between running, yoga, weight lifting, elliptical trainer.


In the last month, I have lost 2 kilos (thats about 4 pounds) which seems like nothing for all this effort!
I don't see any difference, though my muscles are getting built a lot, they are still hidden under a thick layer of blubber.

I intensified my work outs last week so that I am so sore I can barely walk the next day, but still - no weightloss!

You're starving your body, so what you're training it to do is to store fat because it doesn't feel like it's getting enough fuel. Also, you're most likely losing muscle mass more than fat because of the same reason--you're starving your body coupled with overworking it (for the amount of fuel that you're giving it).

I know it sounds counter-productive, but if you're really looking to lose weight the appropriate way (build muscle while dropping body fat), you need to eat more, but you need to ensure that the calories that you're putting in are nutrient-rich.

Also, you need to incorporate rest days into this, as you sound like you're overtraining. Your muscles rebuild during rest, not during a workout, so you need to let them do that in order to gain muscle mass and strength.

Remember, cardio (running, elliptical, exercise classes in general) are immediate calorie burns that basically stop once you're done with the exercise. Weight lifting (isotonic) and yoga (isometric) both tear down the muscles in a way that they have to rebuild, and that rebuilding process can occur over days--and all of that time is your body converting calories into energy to rebuild the muscles. The calorie usage of weight training (and yoga, to a lesser extent) persists even after the actual workout is over, and is a better tool in the long run (no pun intended) for weight loss than overdoing cardio. I don't know the ratio of cardio to resistance training that you're doing, but you may want to put the emphasis on resistance over cardio and see how that does.

But I really think that the core of your issue is you're under-fueling your body, causing it to go into starvation mode which converts incoming calories into fat very quickly.

Take a bit and check out this site and read up on some of the information there--it's a really good site that discusses diet, exercise, chronicles people's journeys, and give helpful information on proper ways to eat: Nerd Fitness. Plus, it focuses pretty heavily on bodyweight resistance exercises, so you can do them anywhere, but it really is a good site that talks about transforming the way you look at food and exercise and how that partnership affects your life. (There are many other good sites out there, but I like the way this one presents the information to the reader)

I know it's easy to fall into the trap of eating less and pushing yourself more, but that's not necessarily a healthy way to go about losing weight. Do yourself a favor and research your problem; I'll get you started.

3 Reasons Why Undereating Is a Bad Idea (and Won’t Actually Help You Lose Weight)

For most of us, consistently eating less than the calorie minimum is a bad idea because it leads to a:

1.Slower metabolism and lousy side effects. With too few calories on board to power you through your daily activities, your body learns to live on less by significantly slowing your metabolism. Short term, you may feel sluggish, irritable and apathetic. Once you stop undereating, it takes awhile before your body to recover and your metabolism to rev back up.

2.Loss of valuable muscles and organs. Just because you’ve adapted to using ketone bodies doesn’t mean your body won’t need glucose at all. A minimum blood glucose level must be maintained to keep you alive so your body continues to break down muscles and organs. It’s a major problem in the long run, because your body doesn’t distinguish between essential tissues (think: heart, kidney, blood cells) and less essential tissues (think: skeletal muscle). Over time, this breakdown weakens and damages your vital organs.

3.Higher risk for nutrient deficiencies. Eating very few calories will also decrease the variety of foods you can eat, increasing your risk for nutrient deficiency. The type of nutrient deficiency that can occur depends on the food(s) that are being restricted. While not everyone who chronically undereats can automatically be diagnosed with an eating disorder, anorexia gives insight on the types of nutrient deficiencies that are likely to occur from prolonged starvation. This includes but isn’t limited to deficiencies in calcium, iron, zinc, vitamin D and the B vitamins, in addition to dangerous electrolyte imbalances and protein malnutrition.

I hope that this helps. It really does sound to me like you are doing to your body what the show "The Biggest Loser" does to their contestants, just to a lesser degree. It's not healthy. You really do need to eat more and get your body out of starvation mode.

At least, that's my opinion, I have researched nutrition and exercise for the better part of two decades.

ETA: One more thing, and it's very important...throw away your scale. Stop looking at a number. Your mirror and the way that your clothes fit will be your true indicator of how your body is changing, not some arbitrary number that does nothing to indicate if you're gaining muscle and dropping fat (muscle weighs more than fat), or just gaining muscle, or just dropping fat, or dropping both, or whatever combination you can think of. The optimal combination is gaining muscle while losing fat, and that's assuming that you're overweight by much at all and that it's due to fat.
edit on 10-3-2016 by SlapMonkey because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:00 PM
You're doing good!

The most likely cause for a lack of change on the scales is muscle is more dense than fat. So you can be losing the fat and turning it into lean muscle but not seeing the numbers drop. It doesn't mean it's not working.

Try upping your proteins if possible but you're actually doing much better than you think.

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:02 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

Beautiful woman that you are, dont fret.

In the end you have to keep switching it up. I went through something similar. The way I fixed it was a little unhealthy and cant recommend it. Everyone is different. I let myself stress, started eating POORLY, and working until near exhaustion. I would forget meals, skip them and just eat candy, like a snickers or something. I stayed up late and worked my mind into a fuss.

I lost allot of weight, regained muscle tone and all that. I can only say that exercise, not gym exercise alone, but just working until you hit a wall and cant is what did it to me.

I had a sensei /renshi once say that in order to gain in progress, we must break balance and tip the scale in the direction we want. The trick is regaining balance after and not fearing losing control of the situation.

I cant say to do what I did. I can tell you that plain old hurt and sweat will do it. Eating less rich foods. Eat like you are poor. Eat less meat, less fiber. Eat one meal a day when you can. When you are hungry, eat a small portion like you were saving the rest for your kids who are hungrier.

In essence, get your body into survival mode.

DONT get sick and hurt yourself, but a little hurt never hurt anyone.

Good luck, you beautiful, incredible woman.

edit on 3 10 2016 by tadaman because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:04 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

Muscle weighs more than fat. Use your dress size as a guide rather than weight.

I am in the same boat. I have just started running, but I haven't put myself on a diet. I am going by clothes, as long as nonspecific doesn't keep shrinking them in the tumble dryer, but that is another rant.

4Kg is 4 bags of sugar!! No mean feat!

Keep going my lovely, how do you feel overall? More energy?

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:08 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

Yes, you do need to research it, and I threw a link into my other reply that can get you started in at least proving to yourself that you're under-eating, therefore causing a starvation mode in your body.

Plus, under-eating can cause moodiness and anger as well, plus a number of other things, especially if it is for prolonged periods of time.

At 5'7" (you're taller than me, at 5'5"), you should be eating more. What you have to remember is that it is the net calories that count. So if you're only eating 1100 calories, yet you're burning 400 calories from working out that day, you're body really is only getting 700 calories.

And keep in mind that your body needs a certain amount of calories just to drive its basic bodily functions every day (heartbeat, breathing, blinking, digesting, etc.), so you really should find out how much your body needs just for that, and make sure that you're quite a few hundred net calories above that so that you can fuel muscle growth.

Here's a link that can help you figure that out: Livestrong: RMR Calculation

Or just use this calculator.

That shows that my body (assuming my metabolism is relatively normal) needs 1,678 calories just to fuel its daily functions to survive and maintain my weight (180 lbs...but a lot a decent bit of that is muscle). If I were at 155 lbs, which is where I want to be if it were a proper muscle-to-fat ratio (body-fat percentage of around 12-14%), the calculator says my body would need 1,555 calories daily just to maintain that weight. But keep in mind that this is a Resting Metabolic Rate--none of us (hopefully) just sit around a do nothing all day, so we obviously need more to maintain our weight when we're moving and exercising. If I burn 500 calories in a workout and I want to stay at 180 lbs (which I don't), I need to average about 2,300 calories every day...and even more considering I burn some just from moving and doing normal activities throughout the day.

So, look up the RMR for your current weight and then your goal weight and see how that differs. Use your goal weight as your baseline, then add how many calories you plan to burn in a workout to that number and that should be your intake. That will give you a negative caloric intake overall (because you didn't account for normal everyday-activity caloric burn), and will do so at a healthy rate.

I hope that this makes sense. It's at least a scientific approach to it that will give you a baseline from which you can adjust to get different results.

Also, read this, as it explains what I have been talking about.
edit on 10-3-2016 by SlapMonkey because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:16 PM

originally posted by: Bluesma
I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day, varying between running, yoga, weight lifting, elliptical trainer.

Not losing weight fast enough? Exercise harder. I wouldn't exactly call 30 minutes of running or an elliptical "discipline and endurance".
I used to have this routine... I'd ride my bike down this long road, and then come back by trail for a warmup before powering up this huge long steep hill of a road. By the time I got to the top, my heart would be pounding so hard it would actually hurt and I'd be breathing so hard I'd nearly faint. Then I'd ride from the top of that hill to this other trail, powerhike up a mountain while carrying my bike on my back, climb a fire tower, ride back down the trail, loop around up and down hills on another trail, and come back that long road to the bottom of the original hill. I'd be out on my bike for a few hours at a time. Did I lose weight? Absolutely. Because I was exercising. If all I'd done was run or go on an elliptical I wouldn't have lost anything.

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:18 PM
You said that you are already keeping track of your caloric intake. However, I wanted to say that I have started working on losing weight and I really like It has been the easiest way for me to keep track of what I eat because they have a really large food database. It also shows amounts of protein, sugar, sodium, and carbs along with fat and calories in each food vs what you need to lose the amount of weight you want. At the end of each day it calculates "if every day were like today, you would weigh x amount of pounds in 5 weeks".

If you're like me, it is most likely you who feels you're unattractive rather than your husband feeling that way. That is why I am working on losing weight. I want to be more comfortable in my own skin.

I think that there are many aspects to food other than the amount of fat and calories. For example, eating "real" food is better than eating highly processed foods. Also, there are different kinds of fats including healthy fats. Researching nutrition motivates me and helps me figure out what might work best diet wise.

I hope everything works out for you!

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:19 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

You may have an adrenal body type which gains weight through the release of Cortisol, which is released when the body is under stress. I would recommend watching Dr Berg's lecture on body types and work out what body type you are.

Doing calorie restriction with adrenal body type will only make you put on more weight because you are stressing the body doing the calorie restriction.

I am an adrenal body type and I lost 4 stone in 6 months by 'Chilling out'. CBD oil is not illegal in europe and is great stress releaser, I didn't change my diet at all. I just reduced my stress and the weight dropped off.
edit on 10-3-2016 by mclarenmp4 because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:27 PM
There's only one way to lose weight, calories in V calories out.

Now you seem aware of this fact, carefully calculating your calories and such, but the fact of the matter is, if you aren't dropping weight, you are taking in more energy than you require. Perhaps your calculations are off.

Having said that, if you believe you're putting on muscle mass, which is only possible at a caloric surplus, the above is certainly true. It wouldn't be if you were a beginner, but if you've been athletic your whole life it's unlikely you'll be gaining from "noob gains" as it were.

There's two things you can do, re-calculate your calories, or workout more.

Use google and calculate your BMR or TDEE, calculate it based on a sedentary lifestyle with no activity (regardless of whether or not this is true), ive found I get better results using these numbers.

Edit: SlapMonkey raised a great point about how not eating *ENOUGH* for weight loss will inhibit your weight loss. This is definitely true and could be a very real cause for you, 1100 calories is very low especially for your activity.

Keep a food diary (if you don't already), write down every thing you eat and the caloric quantity and calculate your total at the end of the day. Aim to keep to your daily limit (say 1100, or 1000) and if after a week you haven't dropped *any* or *sufficient* weight, for the next 7 days reduce your caloric intake by 100. Rinse and repeat until you are happy with your weight loss.

I feel bad for women, being typically smaller i've found with my missus that its gruelling, I myself cut weight on about 2000 calories, and it's magic compared to what she has to go through haha. Sorry for the novel but I'm happy to help with anything uncertain in this post.

Source: 4 years of weight training, bulking and cutting effectively (10 kg loss in 10 weeks!)
edit on 10-3-2016 by Zehll because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:28 PM
a reply to: Bluesma

You are kidding about being unattractive right, Bluesma the picture you had as your avatar on the horse you are hot girl

your hubby is a lucky guy , keep at it Bluesma and the work will pay of

P.s my chat up line with the ladies is to grab my beer/ food gut and say

Do you want to feel my baby , it gets them laughing anyway

edit on 10/3/2016 by stonerwilliam because: (no reason given)

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:33 PM
a reply to: Zehll

Sorry but that's a complete myth. Yes for a regular person with good hormone levels that is indeed the case but there are more and more studies coming out which shows a link between adrenal fatique and weight gain. Watch the video I just posted.


posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:34 PM

originally posted by: trollz

originally posted by: Bluesma
I exercise a minimum of 30 minutes a day, varying between running, yoga, weight lifting, elliptical trainer.

Not losing weight fast enough? Exercise harder. I wouldn't exactly call 30 minutes of running or an elliptical "discipline and endurance".

I think that 30 minutes of exercise each day takes discipline for someone who does not normally exercise. 30 minutes a day more than no conscious exercise each day is a pretty big step in my opinion. I'd say that even working out 3-5 days a week for 30 minutes is a big step for someone who is starting to consciously exercise vs calories that are burned through everyday life.

I used to have this routine... I'd ride my bike down this long road, and then come back by trail for a warmup before powering up this huge long steep hill of a road. By the time I got to the top, my heart would be pounding so hard it would actually hurt and I'd be breathing so hard I'd nearly faint. Then I'd ride from the top of that hill to this other trail, powerhike up a mountain while carrying my bike on my back, climb a fire tower, ride back down the trail, loop around up and down hills on another trail, and come back that long road to the bottom of the original hill. I'd be out on my bike for a few hours at a time. Did I lose weight? Absolutely. Because I was exercising. If all I'd done was run or go on an elliptical I wouldn't have lost anything.

That worked for you but that "routine" sounds like it could be very dangerous for many other people. Especially people new to exercise. Also, I think setting too high of exercise goals can end up making one unmotivated and want to stop altogether whereas smaller and reachable goals can keep one going and increase from there.

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:39 PM
I'm kind of in the same situation here. All my adult life I was about same weight, even after two childbirths I bounced back to my normal weight in a few months without any effort. I've always been a physically active type because I liked it, so again no special effort was requiered.

But this last year( I'm close to 45 y/o) I've put on about 4-5 kilo and I feel enormous and heavy like hell. None of my clothes fits me so after I got into the panic mode I tried dieting, counting meals and calories and juices and so on. The only result was about 1 kilo up or down, never more than that.

But there is a lot of stress and anger, and frustration, just like you said, plus I was so tired all the time. Zombie tired and depressed about life. So one day I said "foc it, this is enough". My partner loves me anyway, he doesn't even see such a big change so I decided to just let it be. I cannot live my life centered around food, what I'll eat, when and what I've eaten last time, what I'm allowed to eat and so on. I'm done with this.

The only thing I want to keep on is to have the sugar at minimum in my diet, usually only in coffee, and my usual walks, although is harder
I can live with myself a bit rounder and at least for me it doesn't worth the stress and the frustration just to look a bit slimmer. Sometimes one have to accept the facts of life: we all get old, and old age is not beautiful. I think is more important to be content and at peace with yourself.
Lol I still keep some of my old jeans in the hope that some day maybe I'll fit inside them again...but if not, I'm fine with that.

posted on Mar, 10 2016 @ 02:49 PM
a reply to: WhiteHat

In the pubmed article I posted you will see why it's more difficult for women who are near menopausal age to lose weight because you release more cortisol which increases fat distribution.
What you need to do is reduce your cortisol and in order to do that you can't be doing things which stress you out.
Light cardio, balanced diet and bathe in magnesium salts. If you have access to CBD oil in your country I would highly recommend it.

Recent studies have shown an association between uncontrollable stress and abdominal fat distribution. It has been suggested that changes in cortisol secretion might represent one possible mechanism for this relationship. This study investigated whether body fat distribution, determined by waist-to-hip ratio (WHR), is related to salivary cortisol levels in response to laboratory stressors. Subjects were 41 overweight women with a Low or a High WHR. Multiple measures of cortisol and mood were obtained during a session of stressful tasks (eg., timed arithmetic) and during a time-matched, control rest session. Also, background life stress and psychological trait variables were assessed. Compared to Low WHR subjects, High WHR subjects secreted significantly more cortisol during the stressful session after 60 minutes of stress, and considering the total area under the curve of secretion. This difference was not seen on the rest day. In terms of background and psychological measures, High WHR subjects were characterized by poorer coping skills and differences in mood reactivity. Specifically, although all subjects became more angry in response to the stressful session, High WHR subjects showed smaller increases in anger. This could indicate that they are more likely to evidence a helpless reaction to uncontrollable stress. These findings support the hypothesis that cortisol secretion might represent a mechanism for the observed association between stress and abdominal fat distribution. Furthermore, differences in coping and appraisal may suggest that a particular psychological pattern might influence the reactivity of the adrenal-cortical system to stress, and subsequent fat distribution.

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