a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn
Thank you for your thoughtful reply.
I understand the embrace your pain technique, and I suppose I did have to make it my friend as well. You opened my eyes further to a habit I formed
without giving it a name.
I remember telling a Doctor once that it wouldn't be a problem because I had come to understand the point where pain was pleasure. Honestly it was a
time of some of my most intense art as well as some very turbulent times mentally/physically.
Trapped in a box I found myself searching for a way from that feeling and sensation. I could see how long I could keep up the pretense and endure the
stress. And yes the nagging feeling from my past that I was playing in magic didn't help at all.
When I was young I suffered from dissociation, It was like every situation had a mental box with which I would assign a picture. It seemed to allow me
to understand my situation and have a mental "recording" of well whatever I was focused on. Almost trapped within my own head.
I woke myself from the fog.
Remembering the how I did it is where I found the basis of where I am now with pain management. I had to use a new reference point.
Using what I previously learned, I visualized the box again and a picture to reference it that I tell myself to forget. I hide from myself in only
this way mentally.
The deep enduring pain that sits on the cross road of having to bear it goes in there. And then disassociation with the said visualized box.
I suppose this could be considered internalizing the pain, and would be without the visualized box. Pain focused on or in the body is obviously going
to cause more harm.
The box has to be outside the thought of the body, a trigger to shut the blaring horn of the pain sensation off but the damage remains. And a moment
to again allow the body to go as far as it can.
Physical pain goes in the box not emotional pain. Emotional pain is healthy at times and will only cause more stress if disassociated.
That's where I have found a balance to it, I hope it helps on your journey.
edit on 9-3-2016 by Treespeaker because: missed an important side bit