How My Wife and I Solved Our Cover Stealing Problem

$25 for a rubber clamp. Genius.

a reply to: Amenti

I tend to sleep alone these days. Despite that, I often end up outside the covers.

I never freeze though. In fact, Lady Winter is the only company I have had in my bed for some time. If I am under the covers, how am I to feel her frozen breath on my neck, or her crystalline claws upon my skin?

Still, I can still just about remember when this product might have come in useful. However, an easier solution would be to:

A) purchase a two person sleeping bag, and get into that together.

B) do not spend the hours of darkness in the arms of Morpheus, but in the arms of your significant other instead. Covers are rarely such a big issue, if the nights events are a worthwhile pursuit.

I think I need one of these for myself. Despite having a queen sized bed all to my lonesome, I quite often tend to throw the covers into disarray.

Quite recently, I remember, I woke up to discover that I had rotated exactly 180 degrees in my sleep.

The clamp thing, not very good. I suffer from a weak bladder and if I wake suddenly half way through the night and only being semi awake I could see myself wrapped up like a mummy and accidents will happen.
This problem is easily solved. But two single quilts. Job done.
A more important problem for you is when the wife goes through the change they have hot spells, throw the quilt off and all of a sudden you have double the quilt power and you wake up sweating so much you have to swim out of the bed.

Come on guys. Have you leaned nothing after all these years?

Turn on the light and WAKE HER FULLY and tell her you to need to talk.
Tell her the usual it's not fair it's selfish etc.
After the 5 minute talk fix the covers and turn off the lights.

Now understand the sleep process.
You do not roll over or steal covers while in deep sleep.
This is a semi conscious act. The brain is working at a lower level but it is working.
Once she realizes you will fully wake her up each time, she will change.

a reply to: samkent

An intriguing psychological solution.

a reply to: Amenti

THAT is hysterical, to me. I didn't believe it was a real item so I looked it up.
I am up and down all night so I could see me flinging the covers off and "accidentally" hitting my partner in the head with the clamp attached to the comforter. The spring loaded release is a good idea in case of an emergency (fire...). It's not very attractive, the clamp. Maybe oversized comforters are the way to go.
Whatever keeps everybody in the bed happy!

I simply don't use covers. Works for me and the wife. LOL.

After 26 years of blissful marriage, I have perfected the sublime art of the incremental cover creep. See, if your covers are stolen and you attempt to yank them back, that only results in a corresponding clutching reaction, and unless you want to seriously injure your loved one, that's not a viable option. Besides, once you're asleep, the probability of awful things happening in retribution geometrically increase.

Enter the incremental cover creep (ICC). Take the covers in your fist and slowly close it, incrementally inching it toward you. Your opponent will not sense the sudden loss of covernation, and will continue to sleep. Keep this up for above five minutes, and when you've finally recovered your covers, finish by clenching your fist and turning it under your body. Sleep well. No need to cry havok. You are fortified in your personal cover vicegrip.

Of course, this doesn't protect against the counter-move --- the swipe-from-feet gambit. That requires a whole other order of tactical operations.