Some Things Will Never Change

What do you do when nothing in life seems to be going your way? How do you find the strength to carry on? Where can you draw inspiration from to motivate yourself? What do you do when the world around you spits in your face at every opportunity and presents challenge after challenge with no end in sight?

Is it really possible to prevent your environment from influencing your mindset? How can you draw optimism from within when all that lies beneath the surface is pain and misery? Why should the thought that there are people worse off provide comfort and perspective?

Family issues, financial problems, feelings of isolation and an inadequate support network only contribute to an already low mood and high anxiety. Add to that being discontent with the present, trouble letting go of the past and feeling uneasy about the future — a recipe for disaster no doubt.

Does enough time heal all wounds? Or does time have a way of wounding what has seemingly healed? It's kind of strange.

Lack of purpose, meaning and satisfaction. Feeling like the black sheep of the family and an outsider on this planet. No interest in exploring the idea of the ego or the all-is-one theory. They mean nothing at this moment in time.

Why should I carry on?

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Those feelings are depression. There are many ways to go about fixing this. Well, making it better, feelings of depression may never completely go away.

No, time does not heal all wounds.

I try to keep interested in hobbies, make sure I see friends, have goals. I make sure I laugh, even if I have to find funny cat videos. A substantial amount of prescribed clonazepam helps, but that is not for everyone.

Exercise, meditation, yoga, good books and movies, friends, vitamin supplements and enough rest and you won't be asking all of this.

Life is overwhelming. You should ask for help. A therapist, not necessarily a psychiatrist, is a good start.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I deal with anxiety. More specifically health anxiety induced by post traumatic stress disorder. It occurred following an awful and lengthy time in hospital where I was close to dying twice. I can relate to some of your thoughts. The mind is a powerful tool and it is extremely efficient in controlling your overall health and wellbeing. The best way you can tackle your anxiety and/or depression (it sounds more like anxiety to me as you are looking ahead) is to gain reassurance, find a hobby you can be passionate about, go for walks. These are all methods I have tried and they work.

All the best.

That's just the way it is.


...I hope somebody gets that.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

originally posted by: Dark Ghost
What do you do when nothing in life seems to be going your way? How do you find the strength to carry on? Where can you draw inspiration from to motivate yourself? What do you do when the world around you spits in your face at every opportunity and presents challenge after challenge with no end in sight?

I breathe. Slowly and deeply. Tune out that which is not relevant - here, and now - and reflect on the many trials you have made it through and draw strength from these accomplishments; little as some may seem, we all possess many, for this life is a struggle at the best of times. As the seedling emerges from its place, does it not bend to the will of the wind, sit soaking from the weight of the rain? All to seek the light, to strive for a higher place in the world around it..

Through it all, it grows stiff and tall, or short and sprawling, or long and climbing, or however is necessary for that particular plant to take its place in the world.

These challenges though, do not define you. It is how you face them that will define your future. And it is this ability that separates us from the rest of our environment. The ability to decide. To reflect. To change our world to work for us.

Truly, there is no motivation to be found outside oneself, for even when you perceive an external source of motivation, it is not that the source itself is, inherently motivational; but that you have perceived an air of motivation from it.. in this way - at least - all motivation is stemmed from within.

Is it really possible to prevent your environment from influencing your mindset? How can you draw optimism from within when all that lies beneath the surface is pain and misery? Why should the thought that there are people worse off provide comfort and perspective?

And therein lies the crux of it, doesnt it? The thought of others suffering is not a ready source of inspiration, to be sure.. however it could provide you with the knowing that you can provide an example to others who are less fortunate than you, who will in turn find motivation in your persistence towards bettering your world. All we can hope is that the cycle goes on and on.. All we can do, at any given time, is the best of our ability. The universe will never give you more than you can handle. Never. It knows you, for it is you.

You are the world you perceive. So perceive your best and let the world change around you.

Your circumstances do not define you.

Family issues, financial problems, feelings of isolation and an inadequate support network only contribute to an already low mood and high anxiety. Add to that being discontent with the present, trouble letting go of the past and feeling uneasy about the future — a recipe for disaster no doubt.

I find it good, at times like these, to remember that much of this is outside of your control.. there is only so much immediate effect on your world that you can take responsibility for at any given time. That which is outside of your control should be left to play out as it may.. release the need to let go of the past or contemplate the future, for neither is within your reach.

Being OK with things not working out the way you intend is one of the hardest things a person can do; to relinquish control to the unknown.. but it must be done, lest we drive ourselves insane with the perceived, and literal, trials of our existence.. it is an ongoing challenge, i'm sure, for all of us.

Does enough time heal all wounds? Or does time have a way of wounding what has seemingly healed? It's kind of strange.

The secrets of Creation are found in the presence of paradox. The mere existence of this statement in your mind is a clear indication of your perception determining the truth of it. It is up to you to decide which of these two things you believe in, and allow it to take its place in your belief structure. There is rarely comfort in uncertainty. I for one, would rather be faced with an uncomfortable certainty than to become comfortable with uncertainty in my beliefs. At least with the former, there is a sense of knowing, with room to adjust your perception to your preference.

Lack of purpose, meaning and satisfaction. Feeling like the black sheep of the family and an outsider on this planet. No interest in exploring the idea of the ego or the all-is-one theory. They mean nothing at this moment in time.

You are not alone in these feelings, not even close. Tho you may not see us, hear us, or be able to grasp our hands; we're here. We're with you, in this struggle, whether you know it or not.. it is a strange time to be alive on this planet.. and a stranger time indeed to be in the throes of existentialism while the world keeps turning.. seemingly unawares of the condition it is in.

You needn't concern yourself with things that mean nothing to you at any given moment. Needn't be bothered by that which is irrelevant. Act on that which means the most to you instead. Act on that which inspires happiness and excitement, and focus your attention towards that end; wherever it is for you.

Why should I carry on?

Because the fact that you exist, means that you deserve to. And you will continue to do so. You have a right to struggle with us, and you further have a right to see yourself succeed to that end. Don't deny the world the privilege of witnessing your success. For tho it may not take place on the centre stage for the world to see, it's presence will reverberate through the very fabric of our existence and create ripples of effect nonetheless; the likes of which are outside the range of our perception..

Everything will be ok in the end, so it it's not ok, its not the end.

This too shall pass.


EmBa

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Life and perspective are all about attitude. You can choose how you view your situation and how it affects you unless you are dealing with a medical condition like depression.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

en.m.wikipedia.org...

The curse of Cain... Weird huh especially knowing that Tubal Cain is held in very high regard by certain magical groups.

The curse of Cain and the mark of Cain are phrases that originated from Genesis 4, where God declared that Cain (the firstborn son of Adam and Eve) be cursed for murdering his brother Abel. A mark was put upon him to warn others that killing Cain would provoke the vengeance of God, that if someone did something to harm Cain, the damage would come back sevenfold. Some interpretations view this as a physical mark, whereas other see the "mark" as a sign, and not as a physical marking on Cain himself. The King James Version reads "set a mark upon Cain".

What's the actual bible verse(s) say though?

Genesis 4:11

11 Now you are under a curse and driven from the ground, which opened its mouth to receive your brother’s blood from your hand.

Here we have a mention of the curse... And here again in Gen 4:15

15But the Lord said to him, “Not soe ; anyone who kills Cain will suffer vengeance seven times over.” Then the Lord put a mark on Cain so that no one who found him would kill him. 16So Cain went out from the Lord’s presence and lived in the land of Nod,f east of Eden.

You would think he was reproducing offspring right?

So would his ancestry be cursed and many people experiencing earth through this light actually be cursed?

Wouldn't that be a fun idea.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Optimism is like hope.

If you make your every waking effort about keeping hope alive, being optimistic, then what happens is, eventually you get sick of the fact that despite all your positivity, nothing has changed for the better, everything is still a mess and you are still up crap creek absent a paddle, and in some cases deficient in the canoe department also.

I find that it is much better to look at life through the following lens.

Reality.

Being realistic about things allows a person a certain measure of certainty about things. The permanence of a given set of circumstances, for example. Personally speaking, I am well and truly up crap creek without either paddles, canoe, water wings, or any form of scuba equipment and am starkly aware of the fact. I am running a new business from scratch, with no paperwork proficiency what so ever, the bare minimum...scratch that, below the bare minimum of financial backing, in a business environment which is about as conducive to growth, as an atmosphere mostly comprised of anthrax spores is to mammalian life.

Further to that, I am fantastically lonely, as well as being essentially a throwback to a period previous to the invention of the flintlock pistol, which puts my chances of finding a lady who shares even the slightest thing in common with me, at somewhere between a snowball in hell and Britain winning the Eurovision Song Contest. Ever.

So, you would have thought that all this would make me incapable of getting up and doing it all again tomorrow. You might ask why I got out of bed this morning? Why bother, after all, if this is my life, and this is all there is, nothing more, no hope? I will tell you why. Determination, and pure unrelenting spite. I get up with a smile on my face not because I expect things to change, or because things are wonderful, but because at the very least I can get my kicks by refusing to back down, bow my head, and forget myself. I get amped up by the thought of smashing myself against the brick wall of life until either I, or it, gets destroyed by my unrelenting hammering at it. You see, I do not need to expect to succeed in order to try. I only require that there be something to do, a fight to fight and a just one at that, in order to fight it and keep fighting it all damned day, every damned day until it kills me.

Single minded, determined and fuelled by spite and righteous indignation. That is a mixture far more potent, and in my experience far less toxic, than hope and optimism. The way I roll, as it were, reflects reality with far greater accuracy.

That is not to say that I am incapable of positive feeling, but those are not what motivate me to wake up in the morning. I still know how to love my fellow human beings, still know how to be compassionate and fair and all those other necessary things, but in terms of what motivates me, I know, and have done since I was young, that the best I can hope for is that my life represents two middle fingers raised in the face of everything that makes me furious. That's the best shot I have, and I will take it, repeatedly, until it kills me.

The way is to go.
In the beginning you did not exist.
Now you exist.
Soon enough you will not exist.
Existence is just a brief interruption to not existing.
Go.

originally posted by: Dark Ghost
Is it really possible to prevent your environment from influencing your mindset? How can you draw optimism from within when all that lies beneath the surface is pain and misery? Why should the thought that there are people worse off provide comfort and perspective?

Why should I carry on?

Time doesn't really heal wounds, you just get used to it and it becomes like a new baseline. Mental wounds only heal because of the right thoughts.

Family issues- are they really that nice people or is it because you were raised with them always around and without that you wouldn't even want to get to know them? If black sheep is the only role they can give you, what do you gain from it?

Financial issues- lower your expectations, go study something and get papers so you might get more joy out of your work and more money.

Lack of purpose- we are all the same and eat sleep work. There is no purpose to life except life itself so have you thought of starting a family for yourself? I don't believe now would be a good time for you but you could work towards it as a goal and you would get the bonus of doing the same as 90% of the people knowingly or unknowingly do which should lessen the outsider feelings.

You don't need the ego theory or all is one, both don't lead to anything substantial. The ego is just something people use when they want to point out traits they think are negative and want to change the other. The all is one, what does that lead to, a false feeling of solidarity or belonging to some imaginary group? It's nonsense and useless.

If things went your way all the time life would get boring. It would be like winning every time you played a game. It would get boring and you'd require a tougher challenge. Notice that if you've ever played a video game and get the cheats the game becomes useless after you've completed it.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

I feel Ya OP. The rage circles around me just under the surface and I clench my teeth to muffle the screams. All you have shared In your post mirrors my life, it's like your just waiting for the last ball to drop eh? Definitely avoid mirrors...

First, know that you are not alone in these feelings. Every single person feels like this to some extent at some point in their life. Don't just think it, know it.

Second, think about and examine all the things, experiences and situations that are making you feel like this. Write them all down if they are many.
Now, split them into two groups:
1) Things that you can not directly change or affect.
2) Things that you can directly change or affect.

Now, put group 2 to one side and concentrate on group one. All these things you have absolutely no control over.
Everything that's happened in the past should be in this group cos we can't change what's already happened. Again don't just think this, know it.
Now, choose one thing from your past and really think about what it is about it that makes you feel the way you do about it. Don't dwell on the event and relive it. Just examine the reasons for the feelings it brings.
What you should realise is these feelings boil down to one thing. You CAN NOT change it and ultimately it's this that makes you feel the way you do.

Now, ask yourself: why waste time and energy on these things I have no control over? Why am I holding on to them?
Now here is the hard part, but once you do this right everything else is easy, automatic almost.
Accept what has happened.
Accept these things for what they are. Things that happened that you can't change.
Let them go. Not in a sense of burying them and pretending they didn't happen, but accept that they happened the way they did.
If you get this right you should feel most of the weight come flying off your shoulders. Like, almost physically feel it happen.
Also this kind of acceptance goes hand in hand with forgiveness. Forgiveness of yourself and others. It works in exactly the same way.

Example:
Things my ex did used to really chew me up. I HATED her. It was only when I realised that I can't change anything she did or does that I saw that it's not what she did or does that's chewing me up. It's my non-acceptance that's chewing me up.
I then let go, accepted that she did what she did and will do what she does. I forgave her.


Anyway, once you accept and let go of that which you can't control, you find that you have a massive amount of control. It frees you up to be able to deal with everything in group 2, all the things you can directly change and affect.

Some things will never change, you say?
Absolutely, but now focus on all the many things you can change.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Why should I carry on?

Because I said so!

Sorry, that's what parents say to kids, but I thought I'd lighten the mood and everyone else has given you the good advice.

I remember years ago always bouncing back from all the crap I had to face. It got to a point where I felt that I had been through too much for too long. I have depression and anxiety. I do have an anxiety med, but I couldn't take any of the depression meds as they made me too out of it and sleepy. Many members here have things they are dealing with, so like others have said, you are not alone.


Having a hobby helps, being with friends, listening to music, reading a great book or watching good movies etc. They are diversions and help take your mind off of things.


I am sure that you make a difference in some people's lives. You may have even inspired others without realizing it just by doing or saying something simple that you thought didn't mean very much. Be yourself and let your light shine out into the world. Think of all the people who are reading your words and saying yes, me too, I get it, I'm not so all alone. Just in making this thread, you are bringing people together, sharing their thoughts and feelings and advice and inspiration. It matters and makes a difference. You matter and make a difference.


You aren't a black sheep in your ATS family. We care and are here for you.



Oh and...

Greetings-

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) You'll feel better when Spring has sprung.. The ONLY constant is "change" but the first thing You must change is Your thought.

Change Your thought, or You'll get what You've always got.

You might also look into the Buddhism definition of "impermanence"

It'll get better in The End, if it hasn't gotten better, it isn't the end.

There is only You so control what it is You think about. And certainly don't waste any 'time' thinking about crap You can't do anything about.

namaste

Just wanted to let everyone that read through this thread know that I was in a very low mood yesterday. I apologise for venting my feelings onto this website and hope I didn't cause anyone to feel upset or uncomfortable. I do suffer from major depressive disorder and yesterday was not a particularly good day. I am on medication and try to keep as busy as I can during the day. Sometimes your feelings overwhelm your ability to be calm and collected.

Thank you for the helpful/thoughtful replies.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

That was spoken with perfection

You just described the story of about 75% of the planet's population

Think of it as a test. The test is to see if you can learn to ignore all the "bad" and find the good instead, and gain strength from the good that you do find, and see every day.

Everyone can have their life filled with nothing but BS and obstruction to success and enjoying the days going by, but instead of letting those things make you bitter and cold to the future, just concentrate on the good things and stop keeping an inventory of the bad things, even if it seems sometimes that everything is bad. Just smile at the good.

It really is a test. But it isn't a very enjoyable one quite often. Be very patient and the good will begin to find you instead of you finding the bad.

a reply to: Dark Ghost

Devotion is the spark you need. You can devote to anything, some will say to devote yourself to God, but it is not necessarily something intangible and vague, you can devote yourself to a passion, to a being, to a species, to a grander goal. The possibilities are endless, but it needs to be unconditional. In short, you must put yourself in the mindset that your life is on the line and that each day might be the last, so when you succeed thinking like that, you end up making the best out of everything. Try and be impressed. It might require some mental gymnastics and stretching depending of your own progress but as long as there is action and intent..