ageism

I guess I wouldn't normally say this but what the hell

Young people are so ageist it is unreal,so concerned by how many times you have been around the Sun!

I have been 37 times around the Sun but most people put me in my late 20s.

So I look younger am very tall, have a good physique and often get asked by younger guys if I will play for their rugby team etc. Tonight was a typical example young guys enamoured by my stature wanting to buy me drinks, wanting me to play for their team then I tell them my age and its like they go into heart failure lol

Same happened to a gym bud of mine, he was 25 years old was all about me then one day I tell him my age and its like I was no longer that person he admired no longer that person he seen a friend in, that number erased everything.

a reply to: zinc12

It seems to me you are a woman. Is that wrong? Most males don't care about the age of others males as far as I can see.

When you get older that may change. I have had to put off many younger males in my day...they didn't care the age, except for 1 who I just met and invited me to accompany him on a cruise and I let him know my age. Some were 20+ years older and didn't care

Personally I prefer and older man...one I don't have to raise.

You mention young people being ageist...that may be the problem. I had the problem of younger men in my 60's.

a reply to: zinc12

F&^% 'em?

If you're old enough to have your age held against you then you're old enough to just say f&^% 'em.

Who needs some 20-something to validate them?

originally posted by: liveandlearn
a reply to: zinc12

It seems to me you are a woman.

Being recruited to play on a men's rugby team!?!?

Times have changed in my 39 years... suddenly I feel like Methuselah...

a reply to: zinc12

Tell them the same thing my Dad said to my friends and I while kicking our ass in farmyard basketball, leaving a bunch of young bucks holding skinned arms and knees and bruised egos: Old age and treachery will always beat youthful overconfidence. Then get out there and whip their ass at rugby, football, basketball, combat fishing, whatever your sport of choice is.

a reply to: burdman30ott6

Oops, totally missed that. But who knows? Times are changing.

Being in asia, I get ageism when I look for a job. Thankfully not often. In my biz, age is not a plus.

But usually I am treated with respect, lol!

I'm 62 btw.

originally posted by: Ksihkehe
a reply to: zinc12

F&^% 'em?

If you're old enough to have your age held against you then you're old enough to just say f&^% 'em.

Who needs some 20-something to validate them?

I am old enough not to care, just shows how peoples thought processes can be altered, how a positive feeling can transform.

We have all met people who look younger then they are but my reaction has always been to find out about their diet, lifestyle, exercise etc

a reply to: zinc12

I am thirty years of age.

I was recently standing about smoking cigarettes in the beer garden of my local pub, when a trio of fellows in their early twenties staggered into the beer garden, also there to smoke whilst drinking their chosen beverages. The spied me, and approached me, and we struck up conversation on a few topics, music, film, politics, and so on. During the conversation, one of them asked how old I was.

This is not unusual, as I have grey at my temples, and in twin shocks either side of my formidable mane of hair. I told them my age, at which all three expressed significant surprise, and much banter ensued. As I was approaching the end of my cigarette, the lads huddled together and then broke, and one of them turned to me, and spoke thusly:

"I do not want to be patronising, but me and the lads all agree, that you are a cool dude, and we wanted you to know that."

I was, of course, taken aback, because it's not often that a) the group think mentality of human beings is quite so obvious on the micro scale as it is on the macro scale, and b) because I am unused to be told such things by acquaintances made so recently as those. I went inside shortly after receiving praise from the striplings, and continued to consume beverages.

Later on in the evening, whilst playing pool in the upstairs of the bar with a friend of mine, the trio from before emerged from the stairwell, literally in a triangular formation, two following the one ahead. In the hand of the lad at the front of this three pointed form, was a rum and Coke, my particular tipple of choice, as ably demonstrated in my avatar. The lads approached me, and as they neared, the lad at the tip of the spear detached himself from his fellows, and came forward. He handed me the glass, and said "this is from myself and the lads. We are off now, but we wanted to buy you a drink...rock on dude!"

Now, I am not used to being referred to as cool by what amounts to perfect strangers, nor am I at all used to being given the rock star treatment, simply because I am older than a group of random bar patrons. Was it patronising in some way to be treated such? Probably, but really? They bought me a drink, and I drank it.

I have never yet been in a situation where being older than someone caused me to feel like they treated me poorly because of it. I have however been treated like a simpleton because I was below the age that people assumed I was.

I am often mistaken for being older, owing to my greying hair, beard, and the amount of stress that has etched itself into the grain of my soul, accessed through the window of my eyes. My attitude is this. I do not age. I level up.

a reply to: zinc12

You might be going through the old mid-life crisis thing.

I was about the same age when I went through mine (a lot older now).

When I was 35 I fell in love with a 19 year old girl I worked with. There are no words in my vocabulary to convey the pain I felt. Naturally, it was unrequited.

She had a 20 year old boyfriend (of course) and I was just this nice bloke she worked with. I felt like some pervy OAP.

Suddenly I was jealous of 20 year olds everywhere, it was like a mental illness...

You'll just have to sit this one out.

Time heals. Be patient.

a reply to: CJCrawley

In my case I don't look it but I get two reactions, either they will say wow you look good I thought you were much younger or they will be like OK wow didn't realise that, anyway nice chatting goodbye.

I will be 58 in April and have friends of all ages.

Waves at TrueBrit.

a reply to: Night Star

Ah, you posted one of my heroes!

Now there's a character that can handle his rum!

I can't recall experiencing an incident of this. Myself I'm 45 and can socialize with twenty somethings,or seniors,and all ages in between. Most recently,last summer I spent four days camping at a festival / rave with over 5000 people where 90% were younger than me. I wasn't treated any differently than anyone else. It would definitely be an eye opening experience if it were to happen though...not so much for myself,but the young one who needed a lesson on life and mutual tespect. I suppose it's all in who you choose to surround yourself.Anyone who uses age as an excuse to judge or alienate is not worth keeping around. Imho.

a reply to: zinc12

Honestly, it works both ways. People always think I look much younger than I really am. I've even had dudes in their late 20s think I was still in college (I graduated from college in 2003). So people tend to talk "down" to me in a kind way, like "Enjoy life now while you can, because eventually blah blah blah". I used to correct people, but now I usually smile and go along with it.

Then again, people who are much younger than me sometimes laugh at me when they find out my age. So I'll playfully flip it around on them, saying stuff like "It's ok, one day you kids will understand" LOL. It's funny seeing the dynamics change so quickly. I'll jokingly start talking like a parent who needs to shelter them from the harsh realities of the world, and they instantly go from laughing at our ages to trying to prove themselves worthy of acknowledgment.

However, there are also a lot of much older people who ignore me for my age. Yet there are others who seem to get inspired by me & say stuff like "It's great to see young people who care so much. You're giving me hope for the youth", which is really weird since the people I view as "youth" see me as an uncle-type figure (my own younger brother calls me "Pops" sometimes).

In other words, don't worry about it too much. Age doesn't matter to some people, but it's also the most important thing in some cultures. People are weird like that.

Meh, no matter where one is on their age arc, they, at some point at the very least, suck...

though they do tend to get better after their allotted life spans...

but even then, I've run into some horrid dead folks... sigh...

I guess the constructive take away is to attempt non sucking... when one can muster the energy and not watch the clock, which never runs at the speed one wants it to.

I'm 30 and just got my ass handed to me in Jiu Jitsu by a 60 year old dude that started after me. Wisdom goes a long way.

I've never really noticed any age discrimination in either direction.

Perhaps people are trying to give you a compliment, like when a woman looks young (a positive by most people's standards) and people are surprised. Don't sweat the small stuff.

ETA: This reminds me of my Grandmother. She actually gets salty if someone calls her "young lady". She's proud she's in her 90's.

I think that's a pretty good way to look at it.

a reply to: zinc12

I'm the other way around - 25 and you hardly see me sitting around with people my own age. Come to think of it, my volunteer work, regular job, and community band all are mostly people twice my age.

I also get the opposite reactions - People in my age group think I'm way too mature for them (until they hear me playing techno on the trumpet, something which still blows their mind away); they assume I'm older until I tell them my age.

Just treat it as they don't want to hang with someone that is closer to an "adult" - It's still awkward for me at times due to a generation gap. In regards to the 25 year old gym bud - Maybe you should try to reach out? It's usually not just age that breaks a relationship.

-fossilera