A Father Forgets...

I was re-reading a book today, that I read many years ago.. Which is a fantastic book and I urge anyone here to read it, as there will be something in it that will change your life. I can guarantee it.
And to be honest some members here could really do with reading it..

The book was written in the 1920's by an author called Dale Carnegie and is called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'



Anyway to get to the point.. There was a short poem inside that really touched my heart and made me sit back and think about my actions..

I have a 2 year old son and reading this really struck a chord with me.. This poem, “Father Forgets” written in 1927 by W. Livingston Larned, reprinted many times, translated into several languages and read on radio and television, should be required reading for any parent, required reading for any man or woman, and required reading for anyone who one day hopes to have a child.

Please Enjoy...

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply,

“Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive‐and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped. You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither.

And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs. Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me?

The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding‐this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy‐a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

-W. Livingston Larned


Also wanted to add what I thought was an amazing video that also shows the relationship between a father and son, only this time reversed, if you have 4 minutes to spare I urge you to watch it. It is quite touching..



Anyway just wanted to put this out there and leave a message to my little boy..

I love you son with all my heart and am sorry for the times I have lost patience or been short fused.. You are just a little boy and sometimes I just need to remember that..

a reply to: Misterlondon
Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

If only we all could remember this.

I cried when I read this..

a reply to: Misterlondon

All parents can relate...

Why would this need to be taught ?

Surely if you're just natural, and be yourself you don't need instruction.

There's a reason my tagline is........................Be special ............... Be yourself

How to make friends and influence people ?

How's about learn to love yourself unconditionally ? The rest is natural surely

Cody

originally posted by: cody599
Why would this need to be taught ?

Surely if you're just natural, and be yourself you don't need instruction.

There's a reason my tagline is........................Be special ............... Be yourself

How to make friends and influence people ?

How's about learn to love yourself unconditionally ? The rest is natural surely

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!


Cody

a reply to: Misterlondon
That brought tears to the edges of my eyes. How sweet and certainly something to be read by all parents and possible parents. I have something in similar topic to share (now that you've reminded me), but it may take me a little while to translate. It is equally important to be read though.

originally posted by: cody599
Why would this need to be taught ?

Surely if you're just natural, and be yourself you don't need instruction.

There's a reason my tagline is........................Be special ............... Be yourself

How to make friends and influence people ?

How's about learn to love yourself unconditionally ? The rest is natural surely

Cody

Unfortunatly to some people it does cody.. some can naturally sing, some can dance others need to learn those skills.
Some people need to learn to love themselves.. Personally I grew up with an abusive stepfather (mental abuse not physical) and I had to learn to love me and to be honest I still have days where I struggle..

If you get a chance to read the book.. i urge you to do that, you will learn something from it, the way it is written with stories and examples can teach even the wisest people in the world..
I feel we can never stop learning in life and Imo wisdom will make us all better people.

originally posted by: Misterlondon

originally posted by: cody599
Why would this need to be taught ?

Surely if you're just natural, and be yourself you don't need instruction.

There's a reason my tagline is........................Be special ............... Be yourself

How to make friends and influence people ?

How's about learn to love yourself unconditionally ? The rest is natural surely

Cody

Unfortunatly to some people it does cody.. some can naturally sing, some can dance others need to learn those skills.
Some people need to learn to love themselves.. Personally I grew up with an abusive stepfather (mental abuse not physical) and I had to learn to love me and to be honest I still have days where I struggle..

If you get a chance to read the book.. i urge you to do that, you will learn something from it, the way it is written with stories and examples can teach even the wisest people in the world..
I feel we can never stop learning in life and Imo wisdom will make us all better people.

Respect

Cody

originally posted by: Misterlondon
Anyway just wanted to put this out there and leave a message to my little boy..

I love you son with all my heart and am sorry for the times I have lost patience or been short fused.. You are just a little boy and sometimes I just need to remember that..

Just be a safe adult who your son can tell anything to.
If he knows he's got that then it's all good.
My own son is an eighteen year old competitive rugby playing hardnut who I wouldn't want a fight with lol, but he is the kind of bloke who will give a snail a lift from a busy pavement to the grass, or talk deeply to me about how he is feeling.

...your quoted words above are far more profound than the poem in your OP, just love your little man, and teach him to love others.

Flagged because I hope more people will read it

I have caught myself many times and had to remind myself they are but children!

People fail to realise that just because we adults can stand there and explain something, that does not mean they can comprehend it.

originally posted by: Misterlondon
Also wanted to add what I thought was an amazing video that also shows the relationship between a father and son, only this time reversed, if you have 4 minutes to spare I urge you to watch it. It is quite touching..

The video was really something too.
It made me think back to a time when my Mother's mind was going away...at times I could feel myself becoming frustrated or just so tired, so tired.
I would ask myself if this was the right way to feel?
Of course it wasn't and I would look at her when she didn't know I was looking and find calm and peace in that.
I would hope that my children, someday, will be able to look back and love me as I loved my Mother.
This was truly a parent/child thread, wasn't it?
To see the world through the eyes of a child again, to see my Mother just once again.
Mr London, thank you, I guess I needed that cry!

a reply to: Misterlondon

Think of us that can't be with our sons. Thank you for your post.

a reply to: Misterlondon
I just watched the video. It was beautiful, but I have a complaint...why did it end so fast? I would have gladly sat through a conversation!

originally posted by: SharonGlass
a reply to: Misterlondon

Think of us that can't be with our sons. Thank you for your post.

A warning to those who have sons:

If you are not a father to your son,

Someone else will soon be.

You might not like the outcome...

Too true.



P

a reply to: pheonix358

I'm sticking to Ugly Kid Joe's version