posted on Feb, 23 2016 @ 04:41 AM
The old man was dying.
For the last few hours, and even though his eyes had been closed, he had been seeing strange shimmering lights appearing and fading away into the
corners of the hospital room and he had heard voices of long distant relatives talking to him. He knew that his time was close and as he struggled to
draw a deep and painful breath, he wondered how many he had left to take.
His family had been gathered around his bed for what felt like days now, although his concept of time was wildly inaccurate. He was ready. The pain
was bad and he wanted to be free from it. His family talked to each other in hushed tones as if they were afraid to wake him, he felt their sorrow and
their sadness at watching him suffer, he knew that they too were ready, ready to let him go.
As his wife quietly sobbed at the side of his bed, she lightly held his hand, which seemed to have shrunk and he felt her trembling as she cried. He
longed to embrace her one more time, to smell her hair, to stroke her cheek, he had forgotten the fragrance, the touch. His body shuddered as he again
drew in a long breath, his last one this time. The voices of his loving family became muffled, as if coming from another room. He gradually felt a
lightness, the pain was receding and there was a long steady tone coming from the machines at the head of the bed, not the slow regular beep he had
been so used to hearing. Gradually even that sound too was fading. Although he knew that there was movement around him he was not sensing this from
the vantage point of the bed but instead his perspective had changed to somewhere above it all. Still within the room it seemed….but how...where? Of
these questions he wasn't quite sure. He seemed to have floated up above his own self, disconnected from everything , the pain, the crying and the
sorrow. He still saw the room, the bed, and a shape of an old man lying in it…..but that, was not him. He was here but not there.
While he pondered this strangeness, a light began to form and spread out over the hospital scene. The light was shining and spinning and seemed to be
made up of all colours at the same time and while they merged into each other, together they became the truest white light he had ever seen. As this
light spread out like a brilliant, dazzling blanket over the hospital room scene, everything and everyone faded until there was nothing but the light
and him. The light was him and he was the light. He floated and swirled within it and through it. As it bathed him in its glow he knew that this was
what he always had been and always would be.
A being of light, forever.
Suddenly the light went out. It was dark, a heavy thick darkness, and within his disembodied self he felt distraught and so alone. Images of faces and
places surrounded him and he was moving, very fast. He was in a tunnel of blackness and far off in the distance he saw a pinpoint of light. It was the
beautiful brilliant light but it was so far from him now that it seemed infinitesimally small. All at once he began rushing towards it, faster and
faster, and all the while he recognised the images that surrounded him as his memories. He felt the emotions, the joy and sorrow, the pleasure and
pain of all of this life's past experiences. He felt them all instantaneously while he rushed towards the pinpoint of bright white light. The
blackness that engulfed him was broken by the kaleidoscopic playback of his life and then that finally shattered, leaving him afloat within the heavy
darkness.The pinpoint of light remained a far away prize and he watched it shine and flicker like a distant star, and he longed for it.
A new sensation began, tugging and pulling at him. Whatever this was, he did not care for it. It felt intrusive, alien and he wanted it to stop. The
far away light shimmered and he struggled against the pulling sensation. He did not want this ...he felt pain again, a deep pain that was unlike
anything he had felt before, it was all over him. Make it stop ..please.. No! I cannot, I will not go back ! He fought against the wrenching pain but
it was futile, it was so strong and he felt so weak. He tried to still himself against the rising panic. From far away, he heard crying and sobbing,
the familiar sounds of machine beeps and tones assaulted his ears again and he was filled with a terror he had never imagined before. This cannot be
happening, he thought.
The moans were becoming more distinct and he was filled with wild panic and solid heavy dread. The light was becoming brighter again and he was being
pulled much closer to the source, and although he was no longer so eager to reach it he had no strength left to fight against it. More tugging and
wrenching and suddenly he was covered in the light again but this light did not feel good and it hurt his eyes. He didn't want to look into it, and
once more his lungs struggled to fill up with air.
He breathed and choked and he felt his whole self lift up and float while a warmth surrounded him, a warmth and a rush of love, and then he heard a
familiar voice. It was a voice that he felt deep love for and it was becoming louder as he drew closer to the voice. The pain had stopped, although he
still blinked against the all consuming light.
From somewhere above himself he heard the familiar sound of this beautiful voice say,
“ Hello my little one, you have such bright eyes...like an old soul who has been here before, Mummy loves you, my beautiful Baby “
and the beginning