What is your last thought before death?

originally posted by: St Udio
in a short while...the totality of life experiences/memories played out on my internal mind-screen

Had very similar experience to the recording thing when in death state. Like total recording of experiences. Thing was I felt the emotions not only of myself, but the actual of emotions of others too, like you felt their pain, like splitting with a girlfriend or where you'd had an argument with another human, you felt their emotion too, really weird and eye opening to your self. Did you encounter the emotion thing too?

a reply to: SLAYER69 I think you touched in the closest proximity to the actual event.

a reply to: Plotus In 2000 Dec. I had two bouts needing paddles to revive me. Twice I remember the moment of realization there was no more ....and a second event the same as the first. Heart valve replacement. While in that state I didn't do a review, just the realization it didn't hurt.. I would consider mine not as colorful as some have described in books or oral accounts. But substantial with visual and consciousness simultaneously, exhausting both..

Any emotions and pleas were made prior to the operation, so the 'bright light, walk towards it, it's God' ..... that was the first half. The second, waking, waking unable to breathe, then what seemed like about 30 seconds, Blackness, no anything, nothing conscious.

Page 1 of 2 (I hope)

Let's reach deep on this one...

Yes, let’s do.

Imagine yourself in a scenario or someone you love in a scenario where they are encountering their death and pay attention to the emotions that arise and see if your mind anticipates an event or idea about what it is and why is it so important.

…What do you think? Post experiences below…

It is an honor to post my own real experience. Thank you for asking. But in trying to answer, I realize that it is not that easy to share a thought. It’s not the thought, per se, that is difficult to share, but what motivated the thought and what experience is attached and/or associated to the particular event that triggered the thought. These go hand in hand. They are two sides of an ever changing coin. So, please indulge me with the need to first set the stage, as the thoughts you request will have no meaning to you otherwise. Accept that these are random bits of trivia for right now:

One of my first true fears was the color purple. I was “deposited” into a convent at a young age, following a traumatic event with its own brushes with death. To my five year old mind, death was a scary word that I kept hearing, but didn’t know what it meant. My mother had almost died from a vicious attack and I thought it was my fault because I had opened the door when she had told me not to. So shortly afterwards, while at the convent, the nuns would often lock me in a dark closet for their own frivolous and misguided reasons, but to me, it reinforced the false notion that all this was a continuation of being “punished” for being disobedient that I continued to associate to the wrong event. So, death became a mystery to be feared. Plus an elderly nun had died, and the confusion of being told that we were to wear our white uniforms on a week day was replaced with the horror of needing to file past her casket. I had no idea what was happening, but the atmosphere of the place said it wasn’t good. I was too short to be able to see inside of the casket but standing on tip-toe, I could see the upper outline of her grayish white face. I wondered why she looked so funny and I wondered why she was sleeping in that box and I wondered why the other nuns looked so afraid and wouldn’t take her out of it. Plus there was purple everywhere. I turned to one of the nuns, about to ask, but her stern face looking back at me said, without a word, that I was not to speak. To reinforce this sad comedy of fearful errors, during Lent the life sized statues in the church were all draped with purple cloths, and it looked like there were purple ghosts everywhere. And my fear was sealed when, regarding the dear souls of the departed, we had to pray every day, “And may the perpetual light shine upon them.” I thought that they were saying, “May the purple light shine upon them,” so I feared the color purple at an early age and associated it with death.

Twenty years later, I first laid eyes on my husband-to-be through the windows of a dance hall. I was too shy to enter the building, but when I saw him. time literally stood still. I could see the others dancing a Greek dance and he was there, dancing in the middle of the men’s line, in a shoulder hold with the other young men. It was a scene that only Hollywood can recreate, as my vision zeroed in and only saw him and the rest of the dance went into slow motion, while all the others faded from my sight.

The third bit of trivia that pertains to my death experience, comes from my favorite book, The Book of Tokens. It has a line from a reflection on the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet, that had thankfully stuck in my head:

‘Wait with patience on me, thy Lord,
And in my appointed time
Will I make clear what now is dark
And show before thee, straight and true,
A path of safety
In the very place where now an abyss of terror
Seems to open at thy feet.”

(I now hope that I succeed in posting the part that matters...Please forgive me if I mess this one up.)

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So, some 20 odd years later, here was my “abyss of terror”…

I had gone to the hospital, thinking I was having a heart attack, but it turned out to be 3 pulmonary emboli, and the doctors were clear that I would probably not survive. They hooked me up to all sorts of needles and tubes and gave me high doses of IV Heparin. They scampered for a cause but made it clear that they had no treatment, at the time, so I was confronted with the possibilities of my imminent death, while at the same time, except for a few chest pains, I felt perfectly fine. In fact, at first I didn’t believe them and I tried to continue to run our own business from the hospital bed.

But I could read in the doctors’ eyes that my focus was, perhaps, time not well spent. I was inwardly terrified, but I wanted to be brave for my husband, my employees, my few friends, the nurses, and yes, myself. This was somewhat easy to do with the right combination of denial and compartmentalization, until one night, when I awoke and I felt rather odd…

I felt funny. I felt cold and light headed and groggy and I opened my eyes and I was surrounded by a purple haze. So, here is my experience of my own thoughts, thus responding to the moment of death, or mighty close to it:

My first thought was, “Oh my God! I am dying!”

My second thought was, “Oh my God! It really is a purple light!”

My third thought was more of a reaction to everything that was happening, and that was to freeze and try to remain calm and “think, woman, think!”

At this moment, while trying not to move, sort of illogically hoping that this purple light was just sort of poking about and undecided as to whose move it was, I found myself try to carefully glance about the room, as if I could foolishly avoid its attention, but only if it didn’t see me move. I foolishly assumed that I might convince it that I was already dead and it might move on. You could say it was a twisted, reverse type of anthropomorphism towards death. But in the process, of ever so slowly and carefully trying to look about the room, I saw my husband fast asleep in the lounge chair that they had brought in for him.

I wanted to shout out to my husband. But I was still feeling the need to stay very still. And this hesitation bought me some time and gave me pause to think. I realized that I was terrified, but I also knew that there was nothing that I, nor he, could do about it. I knew I was about to die and I wanted desperately to gaze into his eyes one last time. But at the same time, I realized that in so doing, he would be gazing into mine, and while it might be a comfort for me, it might not be a comfort for him, as he would remain standing over me, watching me take my last breath, and feel the angst and grief of not being able to stop it. I compared this thought to what would happen if I just died quietly. I reasoned that he might awaken to my death, and feel the associated grief, but he would also falsely assume that I had died peacefully in my sleep, and I found that this slight consolation was worth the calculated bit of dishonesty from me. It was going to be my silent gift to him.

So I decided that I would die quietly. But now what? I was still surrounded by that purple haze. I was confused as to why I was even still conscious and became rather self-conscious at the moment. I put my attention back to my own eminent death and was confronted with the fact that I had no idea what I was supposed to do or be thinking at the moment of death. I was in no mood to pray, as that just didn’t feel honest, plus I was at a loss for words in this regard. But here I thought of that Book of Tokens, and I just trusted that those words meant something, even though at that moment, I wasn’t feeling it. Still, I put my trust in those words, while preparing myself to die.

For me, what followed was the ultimate pregnant pause. I was thinking that I should have some last profound thought. I didn’t want to die with useless idle chatter in my mind, so I turned my attention onto trying to force some thought worth thinking, but I was just shooting blanks.

Realizing that my thoughts were not serving me well, and I was quickly running out of time, and still desperately wanting to be with my husband, I decided that I would turn my thoughts towards him and think of him. And as such, it occurred to me that since I didn’t know what to do, that I could do (imagine) whatever I wished, so I chose to have, in my imagination, one last dance with my husband…

For a brief moment, we were both young again. It didn’t hurt to breathe and the air was fresh. We were tall and thin. I had my long braid, with fresh flowers tucked into it. He had his full head of hair. I could feel the strength in his arms, and the power of his lead. I could hear the beauty of the music. And I felt myself melt into the dance, one last time.

But then, I became aware of sirens sounding. I opened my eyes and was in that ugly hospital room again. The lights had been rudely shut on and some were flashing to the rhythm of the alarms. The purple light was instantly replaced with bright hospital lights and nurses were rushing towards me. All this sudden commotion frightened me, and it is my believe that the sudden rush of adrenalin of that rather rude awakening is what kept me alive long enough to reset my own ability to live. Plus, to my joy, my husband had awakened and was rushing to my side — and the guilt of awakening him was no longer resting on my shoulders.

Of course, the nurses, mumbling and grumbling as they reset the alarms, insisted that I did not have that experience and was never in any danger, as it was simply an equipment failure, and had nothing at all to do with me.

What can I say? They weren’t there. But I wonder how many others are having that same “equipment failure,” and are having it even as we all speak.

That’s it. Thank you for listening to me.

I have 2 seperate personal experiences with death. Once, while walking to my car in an empty parking lot, I was approached by 2 big men, I'm only 4'10, anyway, I was terrified to the point, I got my keys between my fingers ready to strike, my entire life flashed through my mind like a Rolodex, I thought I was going to die that night....,finally, they turned out to be security, looking for someone who, unbeknownst to us, was stealing from our store. I did file a complaint with that head of security because they really scared the life out of me. 2nd incident, c section, losing too much blood, slowely started fading away, sounds in the room sounded further & further away, yet I could feel the doctors panicking, saying, "WE ARE LOSING HER, WE ARE LOSING HER!", I felt THE MOST EUPHORIC WONDERFUL FEELING, I've ever encountered in my life. VERY PEACEFUL, I WAS TELLING MYSELF, MY 4 kids will be fine without me, I didn't have a care in the world, which normally in my right mind, I could NEVER leave my children!! But, as I was fading, I can honestly tell you, I DIDNT WANT TO COME BACK!! That time my life did not flash before my eyes, but I remember of thinking of all my children with happy memories of different times we spent together, and it also included family members, everyone smiling......it really made me not to fear death.....When I awoke in the hospital, I actually felt depressed, knowing I was back......Since that time, I have been more aware of the happy, fun days we are enjoying with our children. Hope I helped ease anyone's mind about feeling anxious about death?? My own experience was peaceful, euphoric, & blissful......they brought me back via blood transfusion.....

a reply to: onequestion

I just read this article. She was worried of death, but came to conclusion through experience, that death can be really nice experience, like samadhi that yogies talk about.

______beforeitsnews/spirit/2016/02/my-heavenly-experience-249954 0.html

I can't remember what I was thinking, I know I was talking to God and doing my best to accept what was happening.

For me at least, when I think I am going to die its way too Intense and scary to think with any clarity. No life flashing before the eyes or any of that. All I can say for sure is that I talk to God, I imagine most people obviously would.

If I could imagine such a scenario I can only conclude it'll go something like this, like the three times I have already come close to death. Just a lot of adrenaline and fear.

ETA: I am sure the next stage Is peaceful but depending on the circumstances it is terrifying getting there.

This makes me wonder how it goes for people who perish instantly?

a reply to: onequestion


"Ego crushing..." Get rid of the ego and never fear, anything...

You moved to SB from Flori-Duh? I played a few rounds at The Valley Club and LaCumbre Country Club.. I hope You got Yourself a cannabis card?

NON-EXISTENCE IN THE BEGINNING, MIDDLE & END
That which was non-existent in the beginning, and that which shall cease to be in the end, is not real in the middle (in the present) either. That which exists in the beginning, and in the end, is the reality in the present too.

See that 'all this is unreal, including myself' and there will be no sorrow in you: or, see that 'all this is real, including myself' and sorrow will not touch you either.

Knowing that the entire universe, including one's wealth, wife, son, etc., are nothing but the creation of the jugglery of the mind, one does not grieve when they are lost, nor does one feel elated when they prosper.

If an unreal appearance has vanished, what does one lose? If it is utterly unreal, then how can it even be destroyed?

On the other hand, it may be proper to feel unhappy when they prosper, for such prosperity may intensify one's ignorance.

Hence, that which generates attachment and craving in the fool, generates detachment and cool indifference in the wise. The nature of the wise person is not to desire those experiences which one does not effortlessly obtain, and to experience those which have already arrived.

If one is able to wean the mind away from craving for sense-pleasure by whatever means, one is saved from being drowned in the ocean of delusion.

He who has realized his oneness with the entire universe, and who has thus risen above both desire 'for' and desire 'against', is never defeated.

Therefore, realize the Self or infinite consciousness which permeates and therefore transcends both the unreal and the real; and then, neither grasp nor give up whatever is inside or outside.

The wise sage who is established in such self-knowledge is free from any sort of coloring or mental conditioning or self-limitation: he is like the sky or space which is totally free from being tainted by anything that happens within it.

In this ocean of ignorant mental conditioning, he who has found the raft of self-knowledge is saved from drowning; he who has not found that raft is surely drowned.

Therefore, examine the nature of the Self (consciousness) with an intelligence as sharp as the razor's edge, and then rest established in self-knowledge.

All the powers that are inherent in the mind and by which the world has been brought into being are found in infinite consciousness. Hence the sages have declared that the mind is omnipotent.

Live as the sages of self-knowledge live. They know infinite consciousness and the world appearance: hence, they neither relish nor renoune activity in this world.

a reply to: 5StarOracle

Thank you for that.

a reply to: yosako

I thank you for your point of view, which clearly will remain different from my own.

a reply to: St Udio

Wow amazing.

Please tell me about the disembodied being and the light in more depth?

a reply to: Tulpa

Good point.

Man that's crazy but do think their will be a moment of shock or acceptance?

a reply to: JimNasium

I love SB.

Thanks for the post and well appreciated.

originally posted by: onequestion
a reply to: Tulpa

Good point.

Man that's crazy but do think their will be a moment of shock or acceptance?

No, that's what I meant. No warning just over. You've heard the expression " didn't know what hit em". Someone above mentioned ghosts and I could understand why they might be possible in a situation like this. To really not know at all. Just somehow carry on (or try to) with what they were doing.
There seems to be a few battleground ghost stories, for example, but not so many in hospitals where people die all the time.
To have a moment of acceptance, you'd need something to accept. I don't think this type of death would provide that opportunity.
Still think I'd prefer to go in my sleep.

My final thought will be "Thank God finally!"

a reply to: Esoterotica

I'm going to misquote Dracula here

"To die?...... To be truly dead?.....
That must be glorious!"

I really need to look it up and check because its one of my favourites.

a reply to: ClownFish

Hey Clown Fish ...

Your story is captivating ... I enjoyed your writing style ... like a movie drama unfolding in my imagination
Yet ... Your story is real life ... and also thought provoking

This line of yours speaks volumes " What can I say? They weren’t there."
Thanks for sharing

a reply to: artistpoet
Coming from you, that is quite a compliment. More valuable though, it is quite a validation. Thank you, and thanks for your selfless, yet Selfful, contributions on other sites.

I was involved in a bad car crash, (which I had forseen in several "visions" weeks before). . . I regularly practice dying, as I'd like not to cling desperately to the body at the end, & I have a "death mantra". But at the moment the van hit my car (the driver was REVERSING on the left lane of the highway!) I could not remember my mantra at all, & said something to the effect of consigning my self the the highest cosmic origin of all things. . . but as you see, I survived after all & am preparing for a more mindful "real" exit next time. . . . I believe that one's last thought influences where one "goes" after death, whether immediately into a meat body, or elsewhere; but often thehabitualmode of thought is the one which will prevail in the end. So one needs to be mindful, it seems, all the time.