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What would it take for you to rule out having children?

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posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 01:08 AM
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a reply to: Tiamat384

You're not outnumbered. I'd guess that most people love kids to different degrees. And I agree with you on your post. One day I'd love to have kids of my own, even if they're adopted.




posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 07:10 AM
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Im 37 and my wife is 32.

Ive never liked kids all that much. Neither has my wife.

As a life longer of anxiety and depression I really, really don't want to pass this on to another living being. It is a definite pass me down from my mother's side. I don't feel the need to "pass on my dna" and bla bla bla.

I know its a cliche to say "how could you bring someone into this world" but really, for me, seeing how contemporary life in the west is, how the hell could I look my kid in the eye and say "you can be anything you want". You can't. You are what you are born into and that's where it ends.

Im the last hope for my families name to be carried on for future generations, and thats still not a good enough reason. The old man is pissed off about it, but that's fine. Even threatened to cut me out of the will about it. Fine, go ahead, it's only money.

We had a pug that we loved greatly. The little bugger passed away in the summer and my wife was heartbroken (me too FWIW)

I had a feeling the maternal instincts might kick in and she would want a kid but so far that has not happened.
Im leaving it up to her. As a man all I have to do is make love to my wife and the next nine months is all on her. I told her if she still didn't want them after our dog was gone for a year I would get snipped.

/rant



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 07:21 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

I neither want to get married nor have children.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 07:24 AM
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originally posted by: WeRpeons
a reply to: Profusion

Just think, if your parents decided not to have children, you wouldn't be able to ask this question.

I believe everyone who is put on this earth has a purpose. It may not be for themselves, but for someone else. It's pessimistic to think that future generations won't see the error of earlier generations and change the world for the better. If we give up hope for the future, we will have no future.



There are plenty of people reproducing still to make up for the fact that I won't reproduce. My life is a mess as it is, I'd rather not raise another me.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 07:44 AM
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The wife and I never wanted kids for a few reasons ...

We did not want to have to pay for them .

We did not want to be tied down by them .

And lastly , we really do not care for kids .

No , I do not want to see pictures of your kids . No , I do not want to hold your baby . No , I do not care that your kid did this or did that .

I have been told that we are selfish . I do not see it that way . We sat down and did the math and we would have been struggling to make it with a child when first married . I do not see how it is selfish not bringing a kid into the world which we could not afford . No , not selfish , we were merely being responsible. By the time we could afford a child we became comfortable and enjoyed our childless lives . We live(d) our lives for one another and ourselves . We are happy , we did/do as we please , when we please , how we please .


Children are not for everyone . I grew tired of hearing "You must have children !" . You want children ? Fine . But do not act like everyone must have them .

Or the biggy ..."Having children will change your life!!!!" . Our lives are great just the way they are , we are fulfilled, we have no regrets . why in the hell would we want to change it !?



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 08:15 AM
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While I'm in no rush to have children myself, I do want them someday.

I think your argument is sad because it shows you literally have no hope for humanity as a whole. It reminds me of when somebody says they are going to get an abortion because "It'll be easier on the unborn to not have to DEAL with how hard life will be"

But dealing with how hard life can be pretty much is the definition of life.

You're opting out of one of the main pillars of the human experience by never raising a child.

Idk maybe it's just me, but for me it feels like we all get one shot at living and I cannot imagine being 70 and thinking about what it would have been like to be a father and wishing I had. Especially since if I made it to 70 clearly the world hasn't ended and things weren't as bad as everyone said it would be.

To each their own though



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 08:19 AM
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originally posted by: Profusion
For those who answer, "Never", this is my reply:

There will come a time when life on planet Earth will be an unbearable struggle for survival for humans. Whether that's a result of WW3, too many nuclear power plants melting down, all of the food and water being poisoned/radiated/genetically modified...or a thousand other things.

Earth is on brink of a sixth mass extinction, scientists say, and it’s humans’ fault

As we move towards the sixth mass extinction, at some point life on Earth will be a nightmare for people. Would you want to be responsible for bringing an innocent person into that?


Well, for starters, that article is a sublime example of absolute alarmism disguised as science, so if that's what you're basing your comfort in your decision on, I'd rethink the reason (but not necessarily the decision, as that's up to you, no matter what the reason).

As for having children, your outlook seems to be so far on the pessimistic side of things that you forget other what-ifs to your pile, such as what if your one child would be that individual who discovers an amazing energy breakthrough that helps revert our negative impact on the planet, or a way to multiply the yields of organic food without poisonous pesticides or harmful substances, or a mode of transportation that abolishes our reliance on fossil fuels on a massive scale.

There are myriad reasons to consider that having a child (or two...or however many that you want) could be a great thing, not the least of which is the love that it creates inside the hearts of their parents. Having a child motivates many, many people to become better human beings and think not only about themselves, but of the future that they will leave behind for their children.

So, there is nothing that would have stopped me from having the two children that I already do. However, a desire to have no more is what made me go in for an initial consult for a vasectomy a couple weeks ago, so you don't have to worry about me adding any more children to your pessimistic view of the future.

Any level of guilt felt by people for bringing children into this world is, IMO, something based more on internal issues than valid external reasons. That's not meant to insult, it's just meant to reinforce my belief that most apocalyptic rhetoric about our future as a species is relatively baseless and so far out on the probability scale that it's nearly laughable.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 08:29 AM
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a reply to: Krazysh0t

I'm not saying everyone should have children. Every person's situation is different.

Someone posted a video of a single mother who had 15 kids who can't even support herself nor her kids! She and her kids were living in a hotel room, and the kids didn't have anything to eat nor had a change of clothing!! Why should these kids suffer just because the mother was negligent in preventing herself from getting pregnant?

I can fully understand if someone can't afford to raise children, or their current situation would be more harmful than good if they had a child. That shows there's a genuine concern about having children. My wife and I only had 2 children. At the time, we knew we couldn't afford to have any more children.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 08:33 AM
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a reply to: AmericanRealist




I live in a very positive place, beautiful city that has made many great achievements to restore a lot of ecological damage done to our local environment during the mid 20th century. Jobs are abundant, our police are fair, our local government is very fair. Lots of fun and entertaining things to do. Our water quality is top notch.


Sorry, I just have to ask, where? At least half the people on ATS will want to swarm there, myself included, hobbling as fast as I can hobble.

edit on 17-2-2016 by ClownFish because: typo, dang it all. And I'm getting really good at it!



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 08:56 AM
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a reply to: WeRpeons

I think I can afford to have a kid at this point in my life. Even as a single guy. I just don't want kids. Too much work and I remember how I was as a kid.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 10:01 AM
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a reply to: ClownFish

What? I am in Tampa, Florida of course. Home to CENTCOM. Its a wonderful city with plenty of entertainment, excellent climate, beautiful parks, a rebounding bay and awesome fishing, great beaches are only about a 30 minute drive. The police are very professional and take out their own bad apples as has been reported in a few instances locally. Nearly every single property in this city has a tree, so when viewing from one of our tall buildings downtown, and incoming plane, or even the roller coasters at Bush Gardens it looks like just a forest.

I love my city. Hockey team is tops, the baseball team is meh, and our football team is just .... I dont want to talk about the Bucs. We are very diverse culturally and racially. Come visit if you can. Enjoy life.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 11:17 AM
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a reply to: Krazysh0t

You never know you might be a good father and some kid would be
lucky to have you as one.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 11:26 AM
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a reply to: mamabeth

You're right, it's possible I could be a good father, but I really don't want to take the risk. That's an awful long investment I'd be making and it could turn out wrong. That's why I don't want to be married either. No obligation.



posted on Feb, 17 2016 @ 04:05 PM
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a reply to: Profusion

"What would it take for you to rule out having children?"


not having enough money to live the rest of my life without needing to work,

i believe a child deserves your full time, if you cant give that you dont deserve them.


i dont have said amount of money, thus i dont have children and dont plan to (unless i win the lottery, then i'd give it a shot)

i know that stipulation means most people on earth wouldnt have kids and we'd go extinct, so obviously we have no choice but to procreate anyway regardless of how unfair it may be to the children.. perhaps that may be why this world is so full of hate...



posted on Feb, 18 2016 @ 12:21 AM
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a reply to: NobodiesNormal
Everyone, and every living thing works to support their child, even before companies and jobs were created. Are you saying its easier to go into the woods and spear deer, boar, an go fishing all day the way human beings used to before agriculture and civilization?? Even mama lions have to go out and chase out prey like high hell, some days to no avail.


I get what you are saying, but the logic behind it is not really accurate.



posted on Feb, 18 2016 @ 12:59 PM
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a reply to: Profusion

I wanted a child more then a partner .. as I always thought no s/he is capable to reciprocate the unconditional love I would have for them..

Next.. I always thought I could never love someone who doesn't "love" human kind more then me.. Ultimately it comes down to jealousy.. For me the thought of trusting someone to love me was zero.. My biggest fobia is falling in love because it would crush my soul to be hurt

So I thought a kid is the solution till I reached a conclusion your children are not "yours"

I love the idea of family unit.. So ideal would be if my partner had a child already (to me they are just smaller cloned version - would love them twice as much
) as I am not comfortable with the idea of adoption (given I can have children of my own that "mother" instinct of your "own" cub) I would consider fostering but I know it's temporary



posted on Feb, 18 2016 @ 01:07 PM
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I'm as sterile as a surgeons knife, so feel free to take my quota. Probably for the best my gene pool ends with me.



posted on Feb, 18 2016 @ 06:31 PM
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originally posted by: Profusion
I decided years ago not to have children. I have believed for decades that the world has fallen to a point where it isn't fair to ask an innocent person to put up with it. Why? Well, the following speech is about 40 years old now, it's only gotten worse since then, much worse (quoting from "Network" (1976)):


www.youtube.com...


Howard Beale: I don't have to tell you things are bad. Everybody knows things are bad. It's a depression. Everybody's out of work or scared of losing their job. The dollar buys a nickel's worth, banks are going bust, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter. Punks are running wild in the street and there's nobody anywhere who seems to know what to do, and there's no end to it. We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to eat, and we sit watching our TV's while some local newscaster tells us that today we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that's the way it's supposed to be. We know things are bad - worse than bad. They're crazy. It's like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don't go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, 'Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won't say anything. Just leave us alone.' Well, I'm not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get mad! I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot - I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. I don't know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first you've got to get mad. You've got to say, 'I'm a HUMAN BEING, God damn it! My life has VALUE!' So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, 'I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!' I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad!... You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the oil crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and say it: "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"
www.imdb.com...


I know this site is full of idealists who would never give up hope. That's why I think this is the perfect place to ask the question...

What would it take for you to rule out having children?

***When humans become immortal***

For those who answer, "Never", this is my reply:

There will come a time when life on planet Earth will be an unbearable struggle for survival for humans. Whether that's a result of WW3, too many nuclear power plants melting down, all of the food and water being poisoned/radiated/genetically modified...or a thousand other things.
***FUD and fearmongering.***
Earth is on brink of a sixth mass extinction, scientists say, and it’s humans’ fault

***So scientists can tell the future now.***

As we move towards the sixth mass extinction, at some point life on Earth will be a nightmare for people. Would you want to be responsible for bringing an innocent person into that?

***What proof do you have of a sixth mass extinction?***

I've already made the decision that I would not. And, in case anyone's wondering, that decision was not easy. It cost me my marriage and a lot more. But, every day I become more satisfied with the decision (as things continue to deteriorate).

***That is your decision not mine.***



Never.

Humans are supposed to procreate like any other organism.



posted on Feb, 19 2016 @ 12:55 PM
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a reply to: AmericanRealist

I didn't expect an answer. Thank you! That was nice. We've been there. From Arizona to Florida is like suddenly trying to breathe under water. Otherwise, it was great. Sort of flat, though. But, wince, I think I'm bumping incorrectly, so bye.

(I just discovered that symbol that shows if you have a reply. Useful tool for my being lost in space here)




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