Urgent Newsflash!

As a spokesman for the pro PMB movement, we have one simple message.

"Hands up, don't twerk".

We want to live peacefully among you, as long as you comply with our demands.

They include;
No yoga pants in Walmart
Never having to pay extra for bleu cheese toppings
And complete world domination.

Update from the Edge: (somewhere in western Kansas)

Across the dark overcast and windswept western plains there appeared another light. High above the clouds, its intensity rivaled that of the Sun itself. With the light came a faint sound.

Perhaps there hope is on the horizon... A message, a message from the stars.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Dear comrade in True tunes,

I write to you with heavy heart/ I have gotten word of truly barbaric acts by our enemies. As I reported Canadian Mounties have seized NYC. My forces were successful in retaking Staten Island. What we discovered leaves us with a sense of urgency. I must be blunt. The PMB has totally subjugated the once great city.


Here my spies captured images of the enemy commanders parading through the city in a show of force. Notice how they make us kneel before them.


Here they ride once proud NYPD horses now reduced to demoralized vegan maple syrup pancake eaters. Its stupid.


Everywhere you look, sweet ass hats over a sea of oppressive red./


Here our spies infiltrated Yankee stadium now converted into a mass brainwashing camp. Look how the elite Canadian Mounted forces practice their apology techniques.



I do not know how to even write this as my hands tremble and I contemplate what this means. It seems our worst fears were true. The Chipotle Raiders have discovered an underground cyber-genetic research center in the heart of Staten Island.

Here the enemy was conducting research into turning our troops against us, bringing them to the dark side by implanting a cybernetic nano PMB virus directly into our minds and by offering us cool hats. They gave EVERYONE a Mountie hat. Freaking Jelly. I see now what befell my forces during the collapse. The enemy must have slipped in this copy of Iron maiden.



It is encoded with an advanced Canadian Mountie crypto virus. It is riddled with PMB subliminal programming. Thats how our defenses fell silent that fateful night. They turned over NY for cool hats. My head is bludgeoned and cold but not yet lowered.

Our work with Dr. Egon Spengler and the rouge DJ DaVvinvi has paid off. Egons team has performed exceptionally well in arming and refitting the French built titan, code named :The Ellis Island Project. The Prototype Statue of liberty Rock Battle Bot is ready and deployed in lower Manhattan. Our ground forces will regroup on the lower east side and march along side lady liberty as the spear head into the heart of the beast itself.



Pray to the musical God, lemmy, for our success.

a reply to: DBCowboy

You dare ask that we throw away the simple pleasures of Yoga pants! I would consider all your demands and bring them before the council but I would not dare propose such a thing. I do not want to live in a world without yoga pants.

I recall a quote from a wise man:

"Those who give up yoga pants for the sake of not going blind at Walmart do not deserve to see yoga pants being worn impressively well at gyms."

My name is Tadaman Montoya. You killed my music. I will take your hat.

The following is a special Public Service Announcement....

The forces of good have linked arms in an epic battle of the ages. Fires burn in the east. Pyres burn in the west.

The all but forgotten form of music known as Rock & Roll played at extreme volumes seems to hold the key in warding off the teaming swarms of PMB's. Screaming guitars, throbbing bass and pounding drums sends the pervasive PMB's packing.

Raise your glasses and...Get ready to boogey, Warriors! The PMB's must be defeated; failure is not an option!



The infectious nature of good old time Rock & Roll has emboldened legions of liberation fighters to join ranks and raise their swords for one final battle, a battle to end all battles.



Be brave, great warriors...victory lies not too far over the horizon.

Sadly, it would appear the courageous battle is being lost. The ATS public have grown apathetic and complacent, as has much of society today (in an almost predictable yet perverse parallel.) The gallant freedom fighters are depleted and few. Many have been lost and those who remain are weary.

Society, once again, will accept yet another encroachment on their way of life. Rather than stand, they will integrate into the new and changing masses, never to return to their freedom.

The herds of PMB's which were witnessed earlier migrating to the northwest were headed to a refuge in a distant part of Oregon. There, a strange yet vocal group of so called freedom fighters were staging a protest for what they did not know. The PMB's will join with the rest of the programmed masses, assimilate those who acquiesce and slay those who resist. The small group's resistance was sorely misguided and futile, but their fundamental cause of freedom was lost on many who allowed themselves to be manipulated by the powers of the cackling leaders perpetuating this evil and their media bots.

I fear this will be my last dispatch, never having made it to the high mountain passes in which there was certain refuge. The Mounties with their hats and the millions upon millions of PMB's appear to have prevailed. On my side I have my trusty flask. I think I shall lean against this rock atop this outcropping, drink a dram or two and look up to the stars contemplating what might have been.

(Sigh)...God's speed.