Urgent Newsflash!

*Out of character*

I love this thread, and everything about it.

I just thought folk should know.

a reply to: kosmicjack

And the twisted, greedy and altered state which is reality, society, breeds such from dimensions beyond those of which we understand.

As the prying light of science dawns on this new phenomenon it is becoming increasingly clear the perpetrators of this deed did so for the paltry sum of...

...One...MMiiillllliiiooon....Dollars.

a reply to: kosmicjack

I think all of us have a little PuppyMonkeyBaby inside of us.

Je suis PuppyMonkeyBaby

a reply to: DBCowboy

No, you're #uglycatmonkeybaby. Apparently.

Maybe one of the Avatar Creations thread members can whip you up something horrifying....

originally posted by: kosmicjack
a reply to: DBCowboy

No, you're #uglycatmonkeybaby. Apparently.

Maybe one of the Avatar Creations thread members can whip you up something horrifying....

I'm so good looking, it appears repulsive to many. I get that a lot.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk
Update from forward position Red One:

We managed to distribute finger less gloves to everyone and moral was high. The losses were high to get here and we knew that but somehow with the dexterity in our hands we pressed play on our recommissioned walk-mans and CD players with analog skip protection, our giant boomboxes and hot wired 8-track players, renewed purpose clicked those play buttons down.

As we watched our mindless and crazed countrymen go off in greyhound bus convoys to Canada, forever, we knew then the price of this ground we liberate with incredible, magical music and our beautiful dance.

We knew that the price would be high and many wack things would stand against us on our road to free those still captive to the dark workings of the evil song and the dark child-animal.

We have not heard a word from our scouts to the north. They have failed to report back after copying over a kick ass mix tape for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. They were due to return over 4 hours ago with some freaking awesome horses and sweet ass hats. Our heads grow cold as we wait for word of their fate.

Emergency recommendation:
After suffering great losses at the battle for Manhattan, we have divided our forces into thirds. The remainder of the crack troops will remain in our now well fortified position under the Brooklyn bridge with a rave and everything.

These forces are composed of the agile bicycle delivery riders code named: Teenasian-ninja-turtles, the hardened construction guys from Brooklyn code named: The-Fing-Tonies, and finally the well trained Harlem mothers with bricks in their purses code named "Crack-a-bricks". They wear ear plugs and hate every type of music we tried to play for them, but their heart is in the right place. They have bricks in their purses and all they know is that nobody better mess with their boys. In them I place my greatest faith. They are incorruptible by this curse. They will hold the line.

The other two thirds will bring to bear what remaining musical influence we have left against another dark DJ we have been tracking. This one is different. The hipster sages whom no one has summoned but rather came on their own and whom no one even showed a Boombox to, have revealed to me a cryptic warning about going too mainstream. That we will both destroy and become the agents of conformity and stuff, and that their parents are such idiots.

I dare not reveal this to the troops, but the great chrome boombox is slowly losing playback speed and volume. I think the energy cells are almost depleted. I see there is a slot for an electrical chord plug but someone took it out of the battery compartment and thus out of safe storage to put the batteries in and they didnt wrap it around the handle since it probably made the chrome look super lame.

I will sneak away once the troops are practicing their sick moves. I saw a hobby store on the way in that may have the now rare and ancient double D energy cells.

This is New York Puppy Monkey Baby resistance. Out.

a reply to: DBCowboy

a reply to: kosmicjack

I think all of us have a little PuppyMonkeyBaby inside of us.

Je suis PuppyMonkeyBaby

Je suis PuppyMonkeyBaby.....this is why. This is why I get up everyday. Thoughts and minds like yours.

a reply to: tadaman

The PuppyMonkeyBaby movement is growing!

We are planning a counter-march to all the opposition.

Actually there are just 5 of us and we're only meeting for pizza. And we're going dutch.

But it's a start!

A reply to: DBCowboy

Yes, I am familiar with the Dutch technique. It is an ancient art of trade from the Netherlands. I pray your negotiations go well. I fear some of your comrades may be lost forever when venturing to the bathroom moments before the bill is presented to the committee. Stay alert and focused.

Indeed my brother in true tunes. It is a start. Give word of your progress. 15% gratuity if by way of good service. 20% and no less if freaking awesome.

May this pizza day be remembered always as the day we rose up and said in a single voice to those who oppose us: You may take a leak, but I am paying for the 2 slices I ate and no more!

I know the Music God , lemmy, is with us. PMB will fall.

Interim summary report. Auxiliary position: Alpha site, Strong Island.

Harlem has fallen, crappy unplayable startup rap singles have taken over 60% of all street corners. This same group seem to be well entrenched. They have an outpost in times square from which they launch barrage after barrage of quick enticing sales pitches. My people have confirmed it. If they do it in the winter, then they are making bank baby.

The proliferation was worse than I thought. Far and wide. The Bronx has fallen, Bachata reigns supreme playing the same 2 songs by Romeo Santos. Westchester has turned to the dark side. Preliminary reports are just coming in but it looks like the forces of slayer and pantera have been obliterated.

They were lulled into a false sense of sobriety and after a long stink of drinking and exchanging shots, got up from a sitting position, consequently losing balance and plummeting to their urine and spew soaked deaths. I am sure the forces of Westchester's metal heads would be proud to go out in such a pathetically epic way.

The dark night however is left for us to face that many less and with fewer in metal.

My army is in disarray. Party rockers have broken my lines. Everybody shufflin.

My boom box is no more. The DD energy cells I slavaged were depleted. Apparently the hobby shop I found them in bought its supply of DDs during a fire sale of a used sex toy shop. The energy cells were completely drained. They only just swapped them from bay to bay.

The boombox's spirit is broken. Everything it plays sounds like time is melting. You have to put your head real close if you want to hear it.

I have been betrayed. The Royal Canadian mounted Police captured our forces in mass and made them official royal mounties. They look so freaking awesome with those sweet ass hats, riding those freaking awesome horses. Freaking jelly. And my head is cold. I am going to get one of those hats before this struggle is over.

My crack team, the teenasian-ninjaturtle delivery riders were the first to trade in their BMX bikes for Canadian police horses.

The entire NYPD is now the Royal Canadian mounted cop Canadian York force. I hate to think of all the NYPD horses forced to eat maple syrup pancakes everyday. Its stupid.

They can have a bagle or a snickers every now and again. Its fine. The Canadians do not mount their horses unless said officers of the mounted royal law adhere to a strictly VEGAN diet.

I set a quest. I sought wisdom in this dark hour. I went to the hipster sages. I did not invite them, they came on their own. This time I came boomboxless.

It turned out that they were total sell outs. Their parents were really dumb and got one of them named Dante a car on a whim which had an old CD stuck in between the radio and the dash board, and when he went home to check it for porn he found an ancient form of meme called the "dancing baby" from a bygone era.

Wait, I have a hunch. I think our only hope is to be really fake to derrick, infiltrate the hipster inner circle deep within the totally non conformist section of the RECORD store, get the CD from Dantes computer, punch derrick, and get out of there.

I will track down any leads this Intel provides.

NY has fallen, but as I escape from NY, I head for the heart of my enemy whom I shall make fall harder. Like the Marlboro I stomp out on the heel of my badass Harley boots, I will stomp out puppy monkey baby.

I also wear an eye patch now, my red headband I now wear like rambo. I look really hardcore bros. Like a rambo, nick furry, Billy idol.


This is the last survivng New York Puppy Monkey baby resistance fighter. Out.

a reply to: tadaman

I had water, just want to make sure everyone was aware of that!

The negotiations went well. We all agreed to let Dutch take us out again because he had the minivan and could seat all of us comfortably.

We are planning to #Occupy the Chinese Buffet tomorrow for our next protest for PuppyMonkeyBaby.

Breaking - Update (1336 UTC 0636 MST) - For immediate release

The hardened underground facilities at the Centers for Genetic Mutation (CGM) have been eerily quiet for the past 24 hours as news reports from the frontier filter in across the cracking shortwave radios. The messages, broken and full of background EMI, shatter the terrifying silence of night. During the day the Sun's radiation makes all but the nearest signals too garbled to decode. The Emergency Broadcast Networks have long since gone silent. It is as if a giant army, legions of goblins, are advancing, unseen and unheard.

In one of the facilities here, known as CGM Block D, there have been mass-suicides over the past two days. Due to the compartmentalized Top Secret nature of these facilities the actual causes for the suicides is unknown, but rumors abound. D-Block is the experimental zone within the facilities, and it is thought the suicides may be a result of some genetic experiment gone horribly wrong. Security officials (formerly of the D-Block sector) who declined to be named did indicate there was a security breach in the area just under a week ago. They state the breach was contained, but the cause of the breach and what may have escaped prior to containment is unknown. The Security personnel are very shaken and are under suicide-watch. The general state of mind of the balance of people here is sullen and despondent.

News from the frontier is scarce with only NY and the UK reporting in. No updates from the west coast have been received and all is thought to be lost there. From this correspondent's perspective there are questions too numerous to know where to begin. How did this terrible tragedy befall us so quickly...and spread so far so fast?

Electronic countermeasures in the form of Super High Intensity Teutonic Stereophonic bombardment seems to be effective as long as the power holds out, but fuel supplies are dwindling to run the generators. Strangely though, there has been no interruption in Internet services here or elsewhere. Researchers now believe the PMB mutations may be using the Internet as a means of propagation and communications. Members of the Amateur Radio Relay League (ARRL) have now deployed Worldwide and are setting up operations and relay sites around the globe.

Researchers have also now discovered that while the initial PMB strains were relatively harmless, there is a virulent mutation process which takes place within the organisms every 12 - 18 hours. Successive PMB mutations quickly evolve into far darker and more sinister variants as is exemplified here in a cryptic intercept received at 2300L Hours last night...



Other mutations have been observed engaging in burglary, auto-theft, heavy drinking / smoking, poor hygienic and generally irresponsible activities.

The situation is growing most desperate. This correspondent will venture out away from the facilities here tomorrow at first light. There is nothing left here, but sheer existence. All hope has been lost. There must be something else out there.

This has been a breaking update. Stay tuned for future updates.

a reply to: DBCowboy

YOU HAVE BEEN BETRAYED!

The Grammar Nazis did not call an emergency session during your negotiations. They intentionally allowed you to plan a protest FOR PMB

#Occupy the Chinese Buffet tomorrow for our next protest for PuppyMonkeyBaby.

Do not go. ITS A TRAP!

a reply to: tadaman

PMB Lives Matter!

Embrace the madness.

All hail our new overlords, PMB.

a reply to: DBCowboy

YOU FIEND!

They got to you too. Youre a Canadian mountie now too!

My name is Tadaman Montoya. You killed my music. I will take your hat.

EDIT TO ADD:
I will not rest until you are on a greyhound bus en route to Canada, FOREVER.

originally posted by: tadaman
a reply to: DBCowboy

YOU FIEND!

They got to you too. Youre a Canadian mountie now too!

My name is Tadaman Montoya. You killed my music. I will take your hat.

Inconceivable!

Dispatch from the edge...

They just received a badly garbled radio message that one mutation of the PMB's are indoctrinating zombie followers in a process known as "Dangling". Most of the transmission was badly broken, but the parts they were able to decipher made it sound like this practice is similar to 'planking' but with a dancing motion. It is unclear if they are dangling from something when they perform this move, or if the reference is to some other cryptic activity. This is a new development.

The use of recreational marijuana is now widespread within the CGM facilities. It was first observed in the vicinity of CGM Block D several days ago and has now spread throughout the rest of the facilities. There is now a strong black market on Doritos and Moon Pies within the facility where this correspondent is. The situation is near intolerable. This correspondent may need to make his escape sooner than originally planned in order to avoid a contact buzz and subsequent munchies episode.

However, it is most interesting that the Doritos popularity is not without its own irony. During the same televised event which gave birth to the PMB uprising there was also a television spot relating to the Frito-Lay Doritos product and an unborn child. It would seem to follow that PMB's are now focusing their intentions on using humans as hosts to incubate their young and Doritos as a growth hormone.

I am going in search of a shrubbery as a possible line of defense or concealment.

...

For the past several days this correspondent has been reporting developments while holed up in the Centers for Genetic Mutation's underground HQ in north western Kansas. As has been noted in previous dispatches, the current situation has progressively degenerated into one of near chaos. Rampant raving and drunken / drug fueled orgies of epic proportion have consumed all but the most diehard of liberation fighters and have transformed the facility into a cross between a SE Asian brothel, Studio 54 and a Waffle House. The situation has become untenable, and this correspondent has taken his leave for the wild expanses to the west.

Upon this correspondent's departure from the CGM I low-crawled for several miles to a higher vantage point. Finding a shrubbery for concealment I've made a small spike camp with a vantage of both the facility to my east as well as the vast plains to my west. I will stay here to observe for the today and tonight and then begin my journey to the high mountains of the Rockies come morning.

Although I was fortunate to not encounter any PMB's on my way to my present position, I have made some very surprising observations since arriving here. From my vantage point I have observed vast herds of wild PMB's seemingly migrating to the north and west. This correspondent is not sure what to make of this migration. When the wind blew just so, I could have sworn I heard mention of a refuge of some form to the north west.

Further investigation is forthcoming.

This is a breaking update. Stay tuned for further developments...

Personal log: Supplemental;

We've evacuated those we could. Our numbers now hang in the hundreds. We dispatched a team of soccer moms from Westchester in hybrid minivans and all the personnel from a Chipotle restaurant in hopes that they could establish a new colony on Ellis Island. Even now as I write this they sit waiting for the ferry should it arrive.

We found a small fishing boat by the docks that was just coming in after a week long excursion of drinking and barbecuing. The captain shows no sign of infection though I do not know if he understands anything that we are saying. He is the drunkest person I have ever met. He's recovering in sickbay while we make our way to our new staging ground.

I am making preparations to train and equip all the Chipotle personnel so they can storm the beaches of Staten Island. They will deploy from specially re-enforced minivans with new sound systems. They are undergoing refit in an undisclosed location in the south Bronx. I was told by the chief engineer that they will return as soon as they are immaculate son. Thats whats up.

The soccer moms are saying their goodbyes to their loved ones. Their children know that should they not return after the game is over that they should not wait there but rather go forth into the office and call their fathers. That though they make the ultimate sacrifice of inconvenience as they give our warriors a ride, that they have dinner already and to just wait for them to get home. That dad should never cook after a few beers.

I do not know where this dark path will lead me but I have found a new ally in the most unpredictable of former enemies. A dark DJ gone rouge.I have met this maverick DJ that our forces were tracking just west of NY before the fall.

His name is davVinci. You see he is, or rather, was the late 90s proto meme known to the world as "The 90's dancing baby" now all grown up.

He is upset and disillusioned with his final dethroning by the PMB. The life of this tormented DJ is hard to grasp. The technology of the late 90s was crude and near primitive in its rendering. There was no way to incorporate the level of sophistication that later generations of meme/song hybrids like PMB had. 90's Dancing baby was rendered obsolete.

Re purposed by the dark music industry's artificial musical manufactured sentient pop culture, The now grown 90's dancing baby was enlisted in the ranks of the dark DJs. It wasnt long until he excelled at the dark arts and his power challenged even that of his dark masters. He turned on them one day while pillaging a local rock festival when the other dark DJs refused to allow him to drop the bass.

He has since been dropping the bass when ever he wants. I know he is only using me to this end, but as long as he keeps dropping basses on our enemies I will continue to point him in the right direction.

I must go now to prepare our secret weapon. A scientist from Manhattan by the name of Dr. Egon Spengler is meeting me on Ellis Island. He had approached me earlier with plans to have his team coat the statue of liberty with acoustically activated purple ooze and play happy music so as to animate the statue of liberty, essentially making it a huge Musical battle robot.

I was skeptical at first since his specialty is in ghost busting.

Upon further review of his research from archive file: GB2 1989, I was convinced of its viability as a weaponized delivery platform for the greatest mix tape ever technology.

I must go now to make preparations on our statue of liberty musical battle robot with DJ DaVvinci and Dr. Egon Spengler.



EDIT TO UPDATE:
Here is the latest remix mutation of the audiovisual pathogen created by another dark DJ.

The Internet Core Neural Fabric of the Internet switching cores has now been infected with the pathogen and is using AI to synthesize synthetic PMB's.



Within mere minutes the Neural Fabric then uses Artificial Regression Synthesis to regenerate and mutate into different forms...



The mathematical permutations of PMB have now reached beyond infinity and are testing the laws of Physics proving space-time is indeed curved.