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Evangelical Iowan Caucusgoers Are Victorious ! LMAO (lame satire)

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posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:05 PM
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Victory and congratulations to all of You pure glowing winged spiritually pure evangelicals, You have cast Your delegate votes for Cruz and he has won. All of Your problems are over, Your lives are going to be perfect, all of the world crisis have been solved, You have stopped that evil gay loving demon named Trump and now Ted will be president. Your hopes of Ted carpet bombing ISIS will soon be fulfilled and You Christians will finally rule the world in a more dominant fashion than You already do. You will build churches on top of the churches you already have and Ted will pay for it! But guess what , WRONG !

The three crazy inbred looking men standing behind Ted at his speech look about as mindwarped as the Jehovas witnesses that showed up at my house yesterday. Santorum and Huckabee both won Iowa in the past and we see how well that worked out. Cruz cant beat Hilary or Bernie in a poll much less an election. Big deal on the win, everyone knew it would be an evangelical bombardment, it was a waste of time. So what, you bible people love your bible toting candidate who has no endorsements except from Phil Robertson and his reason is because Ted went duck hunting with him and kissed his butt.

Cruz's days are numbered, he wont do as well after today IMO. I think Trump will dominate after tonight for most states. I am interested and anxious to see if Bernie can keep it up. I noticed that Hilary was cheering and telling everyone that she won before it was over with five points between them, even Rachael Madcow said something about it, that's shocking.

This caucus means Cruz will get six delegates and Trump and Rubio get five each. So for that one delegate You guys won with, congrats, have a blessed day, Ill pray for You and Jesus and God love You . In Your battle of light versus dark, conservativism versus liberalism and Jesus versus Satan, You have proven triumphant and your preachers will be proud of you Sunday. So I say thank Your church by placing a few thousand dollars in the collection plate , send a few thousand to Ted and while Your at it send a few thousand to me because I LOVE Jesus.

You Christians do realize that Ted wants to decriminalize marijuana right ? Its the only good thing about him IMO. Im just throwing that out there, just letting you christens know that Ted, yes Ted thinks people should be able to do the devils work and then eat devils food cake with chocolate milk. Just being fair and medicated.




posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:08 PM
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For all your bluster

Someone certainly sounds upset



posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:14 PM
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The last two Republican winners of the Iowa caucuses were Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum...

What does that tell you?

The fat lady has yet to sing. By a long shot. No need to get upset until she rolls over and bellows.



posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:16 PM
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originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
The last two Republican winners of the Iowa caucuses were Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum...

What does that tell you?

The fat lady has yet to sing. By a long shot. No need to get upset until she rolls over and bellows.



Eereeeeexactly



posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:19 PM
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originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
The last two Republican winners of the Iowa caucuses were Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum...

What does that tell you?

The fat lady has yet to sing. By a long shot. No need to get upset until she rolls over and bellows.


Exactly. Also, don't forget that Bachmann won the straw poll as well.

Iowa is not good at picking the winners.



posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:36 PM
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originally posted by: Foderalover


You Christians do realize that Ted wants to decriminalize marijuana right ? Its the only good thing about him IMO. Im just throwing that out there, just letting you christens know that Ted, yes Ted thinks people should be able to do the devils work and then eat devils food cake with chocolate milk. Just being fair and medicated.




Good? The war on drugs is a failure. Only those who profit (Pharmaceutical companies, LE, .gov, and the prison industrial complex) really want this to continue.

Addicts will be addicts. I believe the medicinal value alone is far to positive not to legalize it (at least for full medical use at a minimum).



posted on Feb, 1 2016 @ 11:45 PM
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a reply to: Foderalover




just letting you christens know that Ted, yes Ted thinks people should be able to do the devils work and then eat devils food cake with chocolate milk. Just being fair and medicated.


If nothing else because of that last part you earned a star.



posted on Feb, 2 2016 @ 12:25 AM
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Good Rant . Oh , wait. It is not in the Rant section.




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