I, like you, have been through a very difficult breakup (not divorce - thank God). I saw myself with this person forever and my feelings and
perceptions of this person held me together emotionally and mentally. Come to find out later that all of the kindness and pleasant entanglement that I
perceived, was nothing more than a facade. I was being played - a game of sorts.
Let me continue with another experience of mine. I have a friend who after almost 9 years, finally proposed to his girlfriend. He's the type of guy
that bends over backwards for his friends/family. She delayed saying yes to him and a couple weeks later, rejected him. 3 months later, she's got
another boy friend. This girl, 9 years strong, was his entire world. He was absolutely devastated. Many days he struggled find reason to keep
Another experience. My moms co-worker, he has a son. He recently moved out to start his own life. He decided to finally ask this girl to live with
him, who he's been dating for 4 years. She disappears, having not heard one word from her, he decides to call her home. Apparently she had a mental
disorder and essentially lost interest in him, even after having gone with him to pick out their new place to live. Again, devastation. My moms
co-worker told her that when he picked his son up, he curled into the back seat, into the fetal position. He's never seen his son like that before.
These cases are long-term relationships where someone was entirely dedicated (in love) to the other person. After hearing that, can we still say love
is real? I learned a very important lesson from all of this. Human Love is an illusion. We develop perceptions that are real to us, but not based in
reality. When our partners do what we expect them to do, we "fall" more in love with them, not because of some magical force, but because we've
allowed ourselves to hold onto those desires we cultivate from the other person. Human Love is entirely selfish and therefore superfluous.
Now, counter to this, I've also experienced lasting love. My grandparents were in love until the day they died. No bad blood or castrating each-other
like you see on TV, the stereotypical "old married couple". When two people are lucky enough to share the same illusion, it can be beautiful. That's
what I believe sets lasting Human Love apart from non-lasting. You need to find someone that shares the same illusion as you, whom favors the same
desires in you that you do in them. That's the only way it works. I believe that is the "mystery" behind Human Love. Most marriages these days only
seem to work because both parties are doing it "for the children" or other such concerns which have nothing to do with the actual relationship.
If you think of love as an illusion, it really brings to light why so many people can do such preposterous things in the name of "Love". We have never
been "in love", only "deluded together". When you think about human interaction at its core, you realize it's entirely based on faith to begin with. I
have a better chance that God exists than to expect a stranger to be honest with me. This is why it's so easy to "fall in love" or "fall into
delusion". It's not the other person, it's us, who mistakenly put our trust in that persons honesty, personality, feelings, etc... All of that which
is intangible we assume is finite, which becomes part of why we "love" them, not having taken into consideration the potential for deception.
This opens up another caveat. If we can never be certain the other person is telling the truth....I refer you back to my friend who was in his
relationship for almost 9 years....why do we bother? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone really is the same as rolling the dice and
hoping for a specific number. I believe all of us want companionship for different reasons and it's such a desperate desire that we cast our doubts
and sanity to the wind when it comes to romanticism.
That's my 10 cents
edit on 31-1-2016 by Aedaeum because: (no reason given)
edit on 31-1-2016 by Aedaeum because: (no reason