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Smacking Children (Revisited)

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posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:20 PM
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originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: luthier

As a former athlete, I've no issues letting him take his lumps. He needs to learn that. So no interference from me. In fact, it's likely partially my fault he's overly competitive to begin with. They say some of this stuff passes on. I just wish he was a little more physically adept to keep up with his desire to win.



How old may I ask? I have seen kids 5 years old start wrestling but its not as useful as the code of conduct I think they can learn in karate at that age as well as motor skill function.

Middle school or a little younger I would say wrestling is perfect, usually schools have programs and its very physical right away. Lots of conditioning and drilling and competing. Just look for a USA wrestling program. Plus there are scholarships later.

But any well taught MA is good for learning self control. Just be warned there are a lot more watered down mcdojos in traditional MA and you need to do your homework.




posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:22 PM
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a reply to: TechniXcality

baby I didn't know that .. I thought u were just not getting along



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:25 PM
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a reply to: luthier

Don't worry I hear u

I would spank my Bub on a nappy
I smack my little cat on a bum

I think it would be only excusable when the parents didn't do it out of aggression

Like kids I smack them on their hand if they would grab something
At school we got our fingers slashed with a stick will never forget that

Here in au parents voted ., they all voted for yes u should be allowed
edit on 27-1-2016 by Layaly because: (no reason given)

edit on 27-1-2016 by Layaly because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:39 PM
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originally posted by: Layaly
a reply to: luthier

Don't worry I hear u

I would spank my Bub on a nappy
I smack my little cat on a bum

I think it would be only excusable when the parents didn't do it out of aggression

Like kids I smack them on their hand if they would grab something
At school we got our fingers slashed with a stick will never forget that

Here in au parents voted ., they all voted for yes u should be allowed


I just wanted to point out there are degrees. Punishment with slapping etc seems different to me then a "hey wake up" your about to hurt yourself . There are kids all over the world who live near dangerous things that telling them to take a time out may not work before they have done serious harm to thselves. Not talking about after the fact beatings or punishment.

I haven't had to discipline my kids that way. I have other far worse punishment. Which is helping dad fix the house or massive and unending chores. They have all been in MA since they were able to walk basically.

It's not black and white and the study while I agree with the results was set up to prove its hypothesis which is a common trend today. I mean it wasn't set up to find out if the hypothesis was true or not but to prove it is true.

To the person who said domestic scale culture (tribes) doesn't use corperal punishmnet, that's absolutely absurd. There isn't one tribe there are many with varying degrees of cultural violence or pacifism. The Yanomami for instance are brutal.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 08:41 PM
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I never felt like I was abused. There is a difference between being disciplined and abused. It was a different time and culture. The 70s / 80s. Back when kids had BB guns, rode bikes and skateboards with no safety gear, and played dodgeball. Not everyone got a trophy or was considered special. Not only did parents spank their kids, the neighbors would as well. There were plenty of times I was goofing off with friends and we'd get in trouble and their parents would punish both of us. Then they'd tell my parents and I'd get spanked again for not behaving.

Sindbad pretty much sums up my experience as a child...




posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 09:01 PM
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a reply to: Edumakated

Kids these days are flat out weak - many suicides lately caused over something as stupid as "bullying" online.

My parents took turns on me and the streets of NYC were rough during my younger years. I think I turned out fine.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 09:10 PM
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What concerns me is that these studies are often foundations for rules or laws for society.

Parents should be able to discipline their children as they see fit. As long as they aren't killing, maiming, breaking bones or drawing blood.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 09:21 PM
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Sometimes I feel like a spanking would be beneficial to the kids when they're being savages or willfully pushing the boundaries of basic decency and yes, I have implemented this tactic for disciplinary reasons. I simply find it personally distasteful and I've always felt like a heel afterwards.

Its difficult to do, but sometimes its the only thing that's effective when positive reinforcement or time-outs are useless. Keep in mind that I'm referring to a quick but sharp swat on the rear and not beating the child with belts or cords.

As a child, was spanked with leather belts and cords and it was frankly quite traumatic while an open handed swat was just enough to make me think twice about doing something out of line again -- without imparting emotional damage.
edit on 27-1-2016 by MaryaNoxx because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 09:25 PM
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Children aren't universally identical.

Discipline shouldn't be either.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 09:45 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Hopefully most parents clearly know the difference between the odd smack when really necessary and a beating which is never necessary.

But for those who think its never necessary, some kiddies have been spoilt rotten and once they know their parents will simply do their bidding trouble starts.

We were in a queue to leave the multi storey and no one anywhere could move. One small child throwing a tantrum standing on the exit lane just past the barrier and refusing to move. Parents standing by looking like a pair of muppets and people getting pretty mad. Now there I would have smacked once and picked up offending kid removing them out of the way - not those two, it took the police to amble up and deal with the parenting for that pair of inadequates. Perhaps if more had had a few boundaries put in place our jails wouldn't be so busy, a boundary set early saves a physical one which ruins your life later.

There are all sorts of scenarios and I own to only having ever smacked once in my life when my son demolished a stand in M&S. Smacks should gently show a consequence for bad behaviour. Perhaps this is an issue that should automatically be taught at school if the law changes as currently you aren't allowed to smack which I don't totally agree with



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 09:56 PM
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originally posted by: Shiloh7
Smacks should gently show a consequence for bad behaviour.


I strongly agree.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 10:03 PM
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a reply to: luthier

He's five, and I think part of his problem is that his intellect is outpacing his body.

He needs to learn impulse control. So I was thinking basic karate more than wrestling. Even so, he'll have to earn his achievements. That's part of the lessons I'd be hoping he would learn.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 10:05 PM
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a reply to: Shiloh7

The few times ours pulled something like that we termed it "unfit for human consumption" and my husband and I took turns taking him out of whatever public venue he was in. The other parent completed whatever task we were working on while the child was stuck either standing in a convenient corner outside with an angry parent or in the car with an angry parent waiting.

We only had to do that a few times.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 11:09 PM
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originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: luthier

He's five, and I think part of his problem is that his intellect is outpacing his body.

He needs to learn impulse control. So I was thinking basic karate more than wrestling. Even so, he'll have to earn his achievements. That's part of the lessons I'd be hoping he would learn.



Yeah Karate is better at that age. I am a lifelong Martial Artist and have done a bit of everything. I loved competing later in life so judo, wrestling and every form of grappling were great for me. Still do sometimes in between old man injuries.

My son went through a karate program where every belt had more responsibility. A chore list had to be turned in everyday and more chores had to be done with every advancing belt. Teachers and parents had to sign off on belts. Higher belts had to teach lower belts. They had motor skills labs, a rock climbing wall, and when you got your black belt you needed to choreograph a piece to music. It wasn't much of competition but it was amazing for kids. I actually cried when I saw the place because of how great it was for kids. They also picked the kids up after school and the price was similar to any after school program.

Do your homework though they are not all the same. It's worth checking around to find the best one for your child. (Of course you probably know that but there are some crappy places out there who want to just take your money).

edit on 27-1-2016 by luthier because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 11:33 PM
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Is it okay to hit the woman or elderly or disabled as well if they do not do what we want?

The difference between children and adults comes down to experience, so if an adult wants to modify the child's experience to enable them to grow to more good experience, generally hitting them or smacking will not be beneficial.

A lot of old people can be as annoying and frustrating as a child and nobody but adolescent delinquents would consider hitting them. Maybe adults who smack children are adolescent delinquents.



posted on Jan, 28 2016 @ 03:42 AM
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My child's father had a similar childhood to yours. It has affected him even now. He doesnt smack our child and never has but every now and again when he tells David off I catch a glimpse of how he must have been spoken to as a child and it is usually over the smallest of things. He becomes like a dictator and I have to rein him in. David seems to play up more for his dad than he does for me even though I am definitely softer than his dad. I would rather sit and talk to David about his actions and put him on the opposing side. It seems to work so far he always gets an A for behaviour at school.

I was a really rebellious teenager and went completely off the rails for 3 or 4 years. I call them the lost years. My mum was very strict. I would have to be at 9.00 when friends were allowed in at 10.00. As I have grown I have never understood her thinking. I would much rathet meet a compromise with Dsvid and let him come home at same time as friends from a safety point of view as well. However, I have got the teenage years to come yet! God help me if he ends up like me I will definitely have my work cut out!a reply to: TechniXcality



posted on Jan, 28 2016 @ 03:47 AM
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originally posted by: truthseeker84
To me, that teaches the kid two things:

1. Don't do what you're doing when Mom and Dad is around, do it when they're not.
2. It is ok, to use violence to force someone who's younger and weaker than you to do what you want.


Exactly. Hitting is for people who don't know how to communicate.
My dad used to hit me when I was little. It accomplished nothing positive.



posted on Jan, 28 2016 @ 05:01 AM
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originally posted by: Morrad
It is encouraging to see a shift in public opinion.

There is the argument, based on personal anecdotal evidence, that smacking or slapping a child is appropriate in some instances. Research now suggests otherwise.


If a teacher or any other paid carer can maintain the discipline of 30 odd children, without resorting to any means of physical control, then a parent, who should have much better communication with their own child, shouldn't have to either. Getting corporal punishment taken out of schools enabled it to be demonstrated to parents too, in the UK supported by legislation, I think that this was an important step in establishing a reference on how to direct and discipline more effectively, less punitively, providing those parents who may not have had access to written information, or be proactive in that way, with referable skill set.



posted on Jan, 28 2016 @ 02:18 PM
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a reply to: Anaana


I think that this was an important step in establishing a reference on how to direct and discipline more effectively, less punitively, providing those parents who may not have had access to written information, or be proactive in that way, with referable skill set.

I had not thought about it like that. Good comment.



posted on Jan, 28 2016 @ 03:09 PM
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Revisit when real people get to vote






Then I decide



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