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Smacking Children (Revisited)

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posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 05:55 PM
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a reply to: Morrad

Good news that attitudes seem to be changing!

My kids can be testing (can't they all?!), but I have never smacked them. I have however got angry and shouted and it always escalates the situation. I feel that if a child is expecting punishment for a 'wrong doing' rather than made to understand why it is wrong then they'll probably still do it when you aren't looking (I distinctly remember hiding behind a wall with a sherbet dip I had been denied before dinner aged 5).

I want my kids to behave because they understand why it's the right thing to do, not out of fear. Sure, when they are little it's really hard work as they don't always understand why, but supervision and distraction work well until such times.

I have seen the possible outcome of teaching children to be blindly submissive to someone more powerful, and then expecting them to stand up to a bully, not to say that all children react in the same way.

PS truthseeker84 Louis CK is a legend, have you seen the '4 year old' routine?




posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 05:55 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko


That's why it's only used on the younger kids. It's before they are old enough to understand reason well, and it's why ours only got a swat in circumstances involving pain in some way, either his or that of others.

I remember me and my brother, aged 7 and 6, climbed down a big hole with metal girders on the sides. My father caught us both, took us home and made me read a news report in the daily paper about 2 kids who had died doing the same thing. That was enough to scare the living daylights out of me and yet we still got a good hiding.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 05:56 PM
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a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

That's better. Not every child is the same.

They all have to be handled differently. We've been looking at a MA summer camp for ours to see if it would help him physically and to learn some impulse control and emotional discipline. He also needs help with the concept of winning and doing it gracefully.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 05:58 PM
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I think it's 50/50.

I have three brothers and a sister and we got the stuffing knocked out of us.

2 of my brothers are wastes of oxygen with 10 kids and 8 baby's mamas between them. Lot's of jail and drugs.

Me and my other brother are productive self sufficient human beings.

My sister is kind of in the middle, she's not very useful for much but at least she's not a drain on society.

That's just my experience though.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 05:58 PM
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without a shadow of doubt parents do too much for their children these days. One of my neighbours as an 18 year old son and his Grandma has to call every morning to get him up for college and then drive him to college which is a 20 minute walk away.

Once I was 16 I was on my own. I had to get a job, get myself up at 6.00 in the morning and then go for train. These days kids want driving everywhere.

I still do everything for my son but he is only 8 but a few months agi I did start cookery lessons with him and I have just started him on putting bin out etc. I thinkk it is important for him to learn life skills. I will have him ironing next I think. Hopefully he will make a good husband some day and not a mummys boy. reply to: [post=20305364]Morrad[/post



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:01 PM
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my son needs help with losing even a game of Happy Families ends up in a meltdown lola reply to: ketsuko



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:05 PM
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a reply to: watchitburn

You make a valid point. Genetic predisposition is a factor with some children.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:12 PM
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If we look at some of the (few remaining) hunter gatherer tribes we find they are the most happy and well adjusted children on the planet! and none of them are ever punished by adults!
So why should our children need to be punished?

Rather than thinking about how to punish children, maybe we should put more effort into finding out why they want to be naughty?

Check out some of this mans videos, very very interesting!



Every parent should watch this!



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:19 PM
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Don't give the child a swat. Give them a trophy for being the loudest screamer and fit thrower at Walmart. Bribe them with treats to do your bidding....

Yeah ok, So after you've counted to three or five a hundred times they quickly realize that that's not much of a threat.

Nah, All it takes is one good swat on the rear with a very clear explanation as to why certain behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated.

From my personal experience as a father of two of my own and helping to raise a third, they learn real quick what is and what isn't acceptable behavior.

You don't have to continuously beat the child into submission.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:25 PM
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a reply to: SLAYER69

What kind of punishment would you recommend for "man-children"? Asking for a friend.

I don't have kids so I don't have anything of value to add on that, but I figure this would be an appropriate thread to get some advice on how to deal with "man-children". Because I definitely have an issue with some of those right now.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:29 PM
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a reply to: Morrad

Smacking is simply one form of punishment for digressions, the research doesn't completely account for the way a child is raised and cared for by their family... I was smacked, but I also knew that my parents loved me, and I've always respected them..



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:36 PM
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a reply to: VoidHawk

Thanks for the videos. I will watch them tomorrow as its late here.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:36 PM
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a reply to: gpols

I have no "Man Children" in my life, so I wouldn't recommend anything. An immature person is just that. They are grown up and I suppose they'll eventually learn by their own actions that pretty much everything has consequences.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:38 PM
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a reply to: Morrad

Lol I read smoking children

This is such a sensitive topic

I do remember when my mother smacked me and I will never forget it ..



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:51 PM
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originally posted by: SLAYER69
a reply to: gpols

I have no "Man Children" in my life, so I wouldn't recommend anything. An immature person is just that. They are grown up and I suppose they'll eventually learn by their own actions that pretty much everything has consequences.



Thanks for you're input.

I guess I'll just have to wait for Karma to come around.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 06:57 PM
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originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: CharlieSpeirs

That's better. Not every child is the same.

They all have to be handled differently. We've been looking at a MA summer camp for ours to see if it would help him physically and to learn some impulse control and emotional discipline. He also needs help with the concept of winning and doing it gracefully.



I am a wrestling and judo coach and I can tell you its a very good idea. Mostly I teach kids who have some issues or no where to really go after school.

Funny and true story when I taught middle class kids their parents would often stop the class worrying about their kids feelings being hurt by loosing. I was always like "you do know what wrestling is right".

Anyway. Wrestling is fantastic for kids like you described. So are martial arts. The benefit of wrestling is the team and the amount of conditioning the kids have to do. Judo is also good and is a competition based sport. Just has a little more grace involved. Brazilian JiuJitsu is hit and miss depending on the school (as far as the discipline side goes) and many karate schools are geared towards kids being good citizens.

Sorry to go off topic.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:09 PM
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a reply to: Edumakated

I don't brother, i got my mother#ing ass handed to me regularly by a 6'4 270lb man, often belts, then metal end of the belt,fists as well. Sometimes so bad i was unconscious . I was terrified of him, but it didn't stop me it hardened my resolve, and then i got sent to a behavior modification program where human rights abuses occurred at such a scale that even in the infantry i never saw anything on par ever in my life.

Kicking a kids ass - for people like me does nothing,they will harden in their resolve, childhood is a time to teach and guide and help pursue passions to open doors and not close them, beating a child ain't the answer. When a child is young swatting their butts once or twice with a hand may be appropriate only because of a short attention span and lessons are harder to teach. Never use belts and after 6 or 7 there's no reason for even swats, lessons can be taught through dialog i make one exception and that is if the child hits a woman i believe that should be returned with equal force because that is a equal demonstration, we do not beat those who are physically weaker than us we care for them.

Yea, beating children isn't right, and it doesn't " show them who's boss" it leaves pain and scars that follow them and their choices for the rest of there lives, it instills anger that they will battle and also increases the likelihood that the cycle of abuse continues. Men are supposed to be benevolent, not because they have to be but because its the right thing to do, hence to lead by example. That is what I firmly believe.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:14 PM
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a reply to: luthier

As a former athlete, I've no issues letting him take his lumps. He needs to learn that. So no interference from me. In fact, it's likely partially my fault he's overly competitive to begin with. They say some of this stuff passes on. I just wish he was a little more physically adept to keep up with his desire to win.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:15 PM
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a reply to: TechniXcality

Kicking a kids ass is just plain child abuse. By far the hardest and often most impossible kids to teach martial arts to in my life are kids who get their ass beat. They have little regard for authority at all.

When I have gotten through however they become champions. Literally. There is no quit at all in them no matter what happens. Unfortunately it's very hard to get to that point.

That is a really tough way to grow up man sorry.



posted on Jan, 27 2016 @ 07:15 PM
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a reply to: Morrad

Some see it as violence, some see it as instilling discipline.




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