Why does life become so boring, meaningless and dreadful the older you get???

Sounds to me like you wasted a lot of your youth trying to be entertained.
You should have been surrounding yourself with the people that make you happy. Life is a breeze when you do that.

a reply to: Anaana

My son is entering puberty, his laugh is acquiring a deeper timbre, but there's still nothing like it "to brighten up even my darkest day."

Yup.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first kid, and asked the Lamaze lady a question: "I'm worried about my baby....does that ever go away?" And she looked me in the eye and said,
"NOPE."

You have about 10 years to go before he's settled - hang in there. The ride gets really bumpy, but the love for them never goes away.

It's like part of your heart walking around outside of your body. You can't always be there.
A wise grandma once told me to be glad I knew where my preschoolers were (as we all trooped up to dance class), because in another ten years, I wouldn't.....and that's when you really worry.........

no matter - they have to do their own thing. Learn in their own way. Just - be there for them......when they need it, they'll come to you
Meanwhile, they are engaging in the developmental tasks of adolescence.
Ten Tasks of Adolescent Development

In order to help parents influence healthy adolescent growth, the Raising Teens Project identified 10 critical developmental tasks that teenagers need to undertake to make a successful transition to adulthood:

Adjust to sexually maturing bodies and feelings »

Develop and apply abstract thinking skills »

Develop and apply new perspective on human relationships »

Develop and apply new coping skills in areas such as decision making,
problem solving, and conflict resolution »

Identify meaningful moral standards, values, and belief systems »

Understand and express more complex emotional experiences »

Form friendships that are mutually close and supportive »

Establish key aspects of identity »

Meet the demands of increasingly mature roles and responsibilities »

Renegotiate relationships with adults in parenting roles »

Perfectly normal.
Very hard for all of us to endure (including them and us parents), but still - necessary. ......

Just hanging out with him yesterday was so very cool. His hugs are precious things.....his laugh, his smile.....
just like when I'm with his big sister.

a reply to: lavatrance

the more you know the less funny it gets

a reply to: Layaly

*gasp* so much Negativity!!!!

Remember to breathe, everyone....
if you focus on your breathing, nothing else can interrupt. You are alive......breathing......

just keep swimming.

a reply to: lavatrance

I feel as you do.

Despite my ignorance my youth was always full of excitement. Now I have everything I could want, but nothing I have the passion to do...its gone.

a reply to: lavatrance

I believe novelty is the key. Novelty meaning new and different experiences. Novel experiences are harder to come by (and less novel ) as you grow older. By less novel, I mean even though an experience is something new, it isn't necessarily drastically different than other experiences you've had repeatedly. I feel like that is the main reason novelty is harder to come by as life progresses.

Another reason being the available time and focus for the new and different. If one sleeps the proper 56 hours/week of sleep and spends 56 hours/week working (shift + lunch + commute), there's 56 hours per week remaining. Much of this is used up on enthralling activities such as cleaning, cooking, eating, laundry, cutting the grass, grocery shopping, pooping and showering.

Still, I believe the vast majority of the effect is the availability of novelty to a mind with years of experiences. I do seek out novel experiences, for myself and my family. Thinking about that compared to childhood - you didn't have to "seek out" anything, it was all amazing. Heck, to a baby, a ceiling light might as well be the Face of God. Even understanding (more or less) the "why", it's still a fascinating philosophical topic!

a reply to: lavatrance


Greetings- Either You're trying to stir up business as it relates to a "Mid-Life Crisis" or You're exhibiting being SAD

en.wikipedia.org...

www.mayoclinic.org...

Why do I think this? Because of Your avatar and unless You're really good at surfing the only place during this time of the year would be Mavericks just south of SF, but let Us assume You're not a top notch surfer.. it is COLD!!! so surfing anywhere is out.. This is when You realize that unless You go to a longboard Your surfing days are numbered, You're in the 4th quarter and it SUCKS¡

I moved here to golf and then My back really took a dump and I was a +1.4 h'cap w/7 Aces.. Now I fish.

This will all pass, heck everything passes.. the only constant is change. Just like each incoming wave, it doesn't keep coming in, it will soon go out..

If You get caught up in the "Mid Life" that is all bologna,, usually the only ones telling You "You only live once" are people that think this is all there is, these folks leave others in their wake while they step on backs to get theirs..

namaste

I haven't found life to be worse as I get older - quite the opposite!

I am always discovering new things to enjoy and explore, but I am seeing them through more balanced eyes.
I mean, I have less inner confusion with age, which allows me to fully enjoy the present better.

I just went through Facebook, taking a tour through the pages of people I knew from high school. I was surprised to see how many of them were stuck in those years. A lot of musicians, punk rockers, that are still putting up the photos of themselves back then. They are getting to fifty now, and still trying to create the same look, and posting about the gigs that they did in the 80's.
They live in the same town still, and it looks like no one did anything real interesting after that time of adolescence.

It just seemed really strange and somewhat sad to see that.

I loved that time - but I've really loved the times after too. The technology, the music, the awareness of the young people today, so different from my own "no future" So. Calif. days.... if you're feeling that it has gotten rotten, it might be just that your mind got very attached to that point in time and isn't open to all there is now....?

As already been stated, it depends on your point of view and experiences.


LOL, I was one of them Skateboarders from the 80's too. Things change as we get older, not just the styles, Hell, I went from having a pony tail down to the small of my back to wearing a Mullet, then to having a Mohawk then a shaved head with a goatee and sideburns and shades, Went from wearing old style Nike, To the Original Vans, then to Birkenstock to Dr, Martens. But that's just fashion.

As I get older I find myself into researching topics that I used to consider too boring or too out there, but now, I have more interest in things that some younger than I would consider boring. I guess, life is what you make of it. For me it's always interesting to learn something new. Also, Ever consider taking up a hobbie? When I was much much younger I was very much into models, Miniatures to be exact. Someday, I think if I have the time, I'll revisit it.

It's a great big planet out there. Don't let the interwebs fool ya. Maybe travel and cuisine? Start small or local, then over time, expand your exploration.

Maybe some weight training or some form of Martial arts? You're never too old to start Yoga etc.

Everyday is a blank canvas, be creative...

originally posted by: yeahright

originally posted by: lavatrance
Like is this normal???

Normal is relative. It's normal for you because it's how you feel. What it isn't is inevitable.

When you're younger, you're directed more inwardly. What makes you happy? What's fun for you? What do you enjoy? Many people as they get older and have spouses and children become more concerned with others, and that's where the excitement, happiness and joy comes from.

Does that mean you can only live vicariously through the joy of others?
Not at all.

That's that old Freudian thing again, as a child, the world revolves around you, and as you get older, you become part of what revolves around you while all that did revolve around slowly dissipates and you seek new things and experiences......One thing that has never changed for me though, is a love of music, it's a world of it's own, is hard work to do except you don't realise it. Something like that the OP needs, so go and get a guitar and get cracking

My mother is 84 years old. She take ASL classes on Mondays, Bible Study Classes on Tuesday, and Master Life Classes on Wednesday. She chaufers people that need transportation, she sets up drinks and snacks, before after Sunday services. She crotchets afghans for all the children in the family, a keepsake to pass down to their children. She cuts the grass on our 5 1/2 acre lot, with both the riding mower, and the push mower. She is hard headed, no matter how many times I fight with her not to, she loves doing it, so she takes my ire. I could go on and on, one thing I can assure you, is that she never has a boring or meaningless day.

I retired but I agreed to work part-time on-call for the State as a Forensic Nurse and as part of the SART team. Again nothing boring or meaningless in my life.

Life has been and will always be what you make it. Think about it like this. You may feel there is nothing important in life, and you may feel that you are unimportant, but there are people that need you, and you are very important to them, you just haven't found them yet.

I placed myself on the United Ways Volunteers list. They send you emails of groups and organizations that are looking for helpers for anything from gleaming to fairs and festivals. You get in free, you serve your community, you have fun, and it is never boring, and you get back a hell of a lot more than you give.

originally posted by: lavatrance
I don't get it. I was watching a skateboarding video from the 80's that really got me thinking. Like it dawned on me that when you're younger life is SO MUCH MORE FUN. Like everyday is exciting. Everything is just amazing. Life is worth living. You're passionate about things and people. But as you get older, well, you basically give up. Everything becomes boring, meaningless, dull, tiring, hopeless, stressful, and you almost like go into survival mode.

Like is this normal???

I mean I still try for things and try and do things and enjoy life. But really for the most part there's no joy, no love, no happiness, no hope, no excitment, no authentic fun. It's more or less that you do things out of habits, or whats' familiar to you. Like life is hardly even worth getting out of bed for once you're older. And I'm only in my middle years.

Or am I wrong?

Travel my friend. Then life opens up, no day is the same, especially if you travel all the time. And you are never too old to do it, and never too poor. I travelled for 2 years broke, but it was the best time of my life.

I remember one lady being nearly 70 years old and instead of spending her days staying at home waiting to die, she started travelling around the world and living in hostels. She said it was the best decision in her life.

a reply to: StopLookingAtMe

Dude,get a pipe and learn how to relax properly.Actually,get a dog,too.

a reply to: lavatrance

a reply to: lavatrance

Don't get too comfortable in life, our time in the flesh is like a drop in the bucket compared to the afterlife. Its best to spend life preparing for eternity.

a reply to: lavatrance

Nah, I'm in early middle age, and I'm doing fine.

How can life ever be dull when you have days like today? You get to school and find out your kid spit on another at recess ... then you get home and discover your ragdoll cat got into a flystrip somehow and has it stuck all down his front so as soon as your husband gets home, the two of us will get to try to figure out how to get all that adhesive out of his coat. It's plastered all down his front and one leg and all up in his whickers.

We'll likely be doing a lot of cutting, except for the whiskers, and using up lots of peanut butter trying to rub it out of his fur. Oh, and did I mention he weighs in around 20+ lbs? And he's declawed so he has no issues using his teeth?

How can you find life dull?

a reply to: ketsuko

Cause everyone out there has their head in iPods checking their own selfies and liking them

Inside : ats
Outside : scary

OMG I love the replies!

I think that this reply is a good place to start...

originally posted by: bandersnatch
Life comes in stages.....its not a super thrill ride all the time...
For everything theres a season....
You may be on the verge of a shift if you feel that life is letting you down....
If you want to change your world.....
CHANGE YOURSELF....!
Your feelings of ennui (neat word hey...)
Are natures way of prompting YOU....not the rest of the world...
Some self evaluations are in order my friend....
Look in not out....pain is inevitable
SUFFERING is OPTIONAL.....peace out bro...b
PS... I turned seventy just weeks ago.....

from there you continue on, finally making Life the way YOU want it

I recently decided that "Truth, Beauty, and Goodness" were not quite right for me anymore. Beauty fades, I might lie to everyone (myself included) about my age, and I found myself shouting, "Get off my lawn!" So as soon as I dropped that trio, I found a new one.... Art, Passion, Love!

I have a hobby/interest that I could never fully enjoy before retirement, but now I do, and what I do now, I do with art, passion, and love. It's all on my terms, using a lifetime of accumulated knowledge that I can draw from. And, really, it is still seeing Life as through the eyes of a child, but now with more depth. Jeez, I'm still learning new stuff even.... I never thought that would happen when I was young!!

Sure, I'm closer to Death every day I live, but the thing is to Live everyday the best you can. After you die, Life goes on without you, so you might as well take advantage of what's here. Get beyond regrets and try to leave nothing in your Heart left unsaid to those you love. If I were to keel over tomorrow, I'ld be ok... it's been a long, strange trip

In a similar boat OP.

I can see you already got the people who assume you have mental issues(depression)

Then those who give you a fine anecdote of how their lives are going swimmingly and are just unable to comprehend how yours isn't too.

People out their will try to tell you that when you feel this way there is something wrong with you. That you didn't do something right or you didn't work hard enough.

The simple reality is that not everyone gets to be happy and fulfilled. There are those of us who will live our lives grudgingly. Those of us who will look at the apparent wonder and happiness of those around us and inwardly scold ourselves for not being able to do the same.

I've got a long way to go barring a lucky fatal accident and it's going to be a grueling test where everything I once loved turns to ashes in my mouth. Some days it's easy to accept others you pray for something different.

I will agree with the guy who said in the long term a life is not that long. Easy to say yeah. GL out there and keep your eyes open for the next opportunity.

a reply to: corvuscorrax

Except my anecdote wasn't about how my life is going swimmingly. It was about to mini-disasters that combined to make for a pepto-inducing day.

My point was that life always throws you curveballs that make sure that every days is just a little bit different, and that is where you have to start looking in order to make sure you don't feel like you're stuck in a endless, hopeless rut.