Help--When relatives push religion on your children

a reply to: MaryaNoxx
The reason you're in the disadvantaged position you find yourself, is because God cares about you and your children, has placed you in the care of someone who loves him, and will witness to you about how good he is, so you can learn to raise your children properly in the fear and admonition of the lord. /sarcasm!

How typical of those Christians who demand that you respect them and their beliefs, but slap you in the face when you politely ask them to give you the same respect in return. They're all about compassion, love, and respect...on their terms.

I'm afraid you don't have a lot of choices here. You're either going to have to leave right now, and do the best you can. Or you're going to have to stick to your guns, and explain to your child that this relative has mental problems, and that she must tolerate this persons delusions a little while longer. Also explain to her there is no devil to fear. Just as there is no God to fear.

Either way, once you move, I would tear that relative a new a$$hole for the total lack of respect, and for taking advantage of the situation. I certainly would keep her away from your children from now on.

a reply to: nwtrucker

Yes, I agree that children will be exposed to different viewpoints in life and I accept that. My issue is with religious beliefs and someone attempting to smother my children with them.

There are good people that believe and good people that don't believe but it seems like those that do prescribe to a religion are more likely to attempt to convert those that don't.

Not saying it doesn't happen but I don't ever see atheists or agnostic folks rounding up kids from religious households in an effort to make them see their version of the truth. Meanwhile, thats not uncommon behavior for religious people to exhibit.

Thanks for your reply.

a reply to: Abysha

Thank you for your reply--this is probably a "first world problem " but its still something that is causing problems within the household dynamic and i just didn't know from which angle to best address it.

I think trying to explain the truth of it all, including the parts where god wasn't always Good Guy God, without putting my atheistic slant on things, is a good approach.

Leaving right now isn't really an option and even if I could, the damage has been done so to speak. Anyway, thanks for your input Abysha

a reply to: seeker1963

Thanks for your input, and maybe to you I'm an ingrate and making a big deal over nothing. For me, its different, I'm actually not making a big deal about it at all aside from asking her to take it easy on the religious rhetoric with my kids.

You also make it out as if I offer nothing in return for her allowing me to stay with her. If she needs or asks for money from me or anything else, she gets it. Always has.

But i will say that your last bit about taking the kids to the side holds merit.

Thanks for the input anyway, even if it was crotchety and salty as hell.

Only other thing I'll add is that kids are pretty sturdy wee buggers...


I know I was raised with religious dogma beaten (heck at times literally) into me...sure it messed me up for a while no doubt, guilted me for thinking/feeling basic human emotions...but you do come through it...


As said I may have my own strong sense of spirituality...but I've never been one to force it nor apply it upon others really...as I know how crap that can be...


More a believer and follower of the basic humanistic/spiritual *path* of "Don't be a dick to others or yourself"..."Chill the fudge out and be chill with all others" etc...

a reply to: MaryaNoxx

You could probably talk to your children more.

I would not tolerate this whatsoever. Active conversion attempts are a completely different ballpark from religious debating. She is not debating, she's circumventing & undermining you as a parent. Don't allow it.
If it were me & mine, & there was no option to leave just yet, I would have no qualms with cold shouldering the F out of her. Minimal interaction as a family. No unsupervised interaction with the kids, period. And make a very firm statement as to why you're nipping this in the bud. Just because she's letting you crash there does not mean it's a free pass to convert or horrify other people's children just because she's misguided & foolish. If she cannot respect you, keep a solid distance -- figuratively, anyway -- until you can leave. It won't be nice, but odds are she'll get the hint in short order & cut the crap rather than live in Frostytown.

a reply to: MaryaNoxx

Let your relative know just how much fear she is putting into your child's head. Surely she should be concerned about that. Your child is young and impressionable right now, but who knows what religion if any your child might follow when they are older. You may not agree with your child's choice in the future. You just don't know yet. Just try to explain that the relative's belief system is not that of your own and explain why as gently as possible. As long as the child is filled with hope and inspiration of goodness, compassion, kindness and love, he/she should be fine.

a reply to: MaryaNoxx

If you feel that strongly against the religious beliefs of a relative you are
using to save money for you a home...Do yourself a favor and get out and
stop whining.

a reply to: MaryaNoxx

Well when you move out of her house your children wont be subject to her morals.
But it is her house .
Maybe she just trying to give her self esteem by telling her god loves her .
Maybe self esteem is everything at a young age and she will have a better life for it.
I would ask what it is you dont like about her hearing about god.

OP, in my very humble opinion, I would recommend Aesop's Fables, get your host to read to your children a bedtime story not religious at all, but instead moral stories written to teach to young children.

Do this in a kind way, keep your eyes focused on your goals, but be kind as you can be.

This is very good to teach to young children. Bible stories are kind of harsh, especially the hellfire, Satan, aspect.

If Joel Osteen is on the program, why not urge consistency and send her pocket money to his church?
Then show some pics of his property and figures of his income.

OK, that's a bit "Cruella", and might not work, only for Mr. Osteen.

Show your daughter Zeitgeist the movie, that ought to do it. Obviously explain to her the movie is biased, and that she needs to take some of it with a pinch of salt. But still, for the most part it is true and factual.

Also, couldn't you get a small loan to get you out of there a little bit quicker? When I was desperate for money once I approached 6 different friends and asked them for a 'small' loan, I figured if I broke it down between 6 people there would be more chance of actually getting the money. Anyway it worked and helped me at a very important time.

Good luck, please keep us updated.
OE

@mamabeth

How is that helpful?

Your Christianity is showing. Grow up.

I would not tolerate that for a minute.

Go tell her to stop attempting to indoctrinate your child. This has nothing to do with her allowing you to live in her home.

a reply to: sweets777

Well when you move out of her house your children wont be subject to her morals.

Scaring a toddler with tales of the Devil and eternal Hell fire for loved ones is not morality.

a reply to: MaryaNoxx

just start eating more of the food but buying less.
clean a little less each day
contribute a little less each day

try and see how much you can do before mother teresa starts to notice.
might be a fun little experience

might as well try and make it fun.

just gradually become more and more of a slob.

either way. on your last day there you should thank them and give hugs all around and on the way out turn around and throw the horns up and say "satan rules"
and kick rocks
hahahahah


on a serious note. you should say something.
yeah it is cool they are helping you and yeah it is their house but you dont have to deal with you or your kid being brain washed with that crap

It is not going to do a damn bit of good to talk to the relative. She is going to have the attitude that it is her home and she can talk about whatever she wants - and in a way, she is right.

I agree with the advice of talking with your child and explaining how you feel about religion. Make sure and remind the child not to be rude to the relative, or say "my mom says you are wrong". That will just cause unneeded tension while you are still there.

Once you are out of there, maintain a strong distance from this relative and your child will soon forget about it. Then when your child is older, they can make their own decisions about religion.

originally posted by: kaylaluv
It is not going to do a damn bit of good to talk to the relative. She is going to have the attitude that it is her home and she can talk about whatever she wants - and in a way, she is right.

I agree with the advice of talking with your child and explaining how you feel about religion. Make sure and remind the child not to be rude to the relative, or say "my mom says you are wrong". That will just cause unneeded tension while you are still there.

Once you are out of there, maintain a strong distance from this relative and your child will soon forget about it. Then when your child is older, they can make their own decisions about religion.

do all that but i would still throw the horns and shout satan rules

a reply to: Psychonautics

So,I need to "grow up"? Let's see...The op is complaining online that she HAS to live
with a relative whose religious views she does not agree with.She is complaining online
that this relative is pushing religion onto her children.
In my house, you live by my rules and if you don't like my rules and abide by them,there's
the door plain and simple.
If the op has any religious affiliations she should be talking to her children herself about
her beliefs.

originally posted by: mamabeth
a reply to: Psychonautics
In my house, you live by my rules and if you don't like my rules and abide by them,there's
the door plain and simple.

If you were my relative crashing on my couch, would my Wiccan husband have the right to attempt to convert your children? As a, you know, trade-off for living by my rules?

No?

Then stop being a hypocrite. the OP is the parent, and the parent is who decides these things, not the temporary landlord.