a reply to: Peeple
ok first of all Big Brother Darkness has scared me in the past only in that he was talking with people who were definitely connected somehow or made
to look like they were connected to the people you talk about at the end of your post. paranoia goes haywire in those high woo times, I have come back
fully recovered now, so Serdgiam and Bigbrotherdarkness who both witnessed part of my weirdness, though I don't know how much they realize they almost
took part in haha. They both scared me..
I kid you not welcome to the did I die and come back to life brigade.
Bigbrotherdarkness shared a picture of himself and he's shared a lot of his history, the picture matches his story, so your perception might be off,
but through no fault of his. imagine well lets see how bad my memory is.. Imagine a thin mustache tattoos including a tattoo on his neck in the front
like a sigil that says love and evil? he noticed in the mirror what he called evil turned to love, something like that.. Kind of a bit of adams family
vibe a darkness, but not dark like evil.. Motorcycles.. tattoos.. astranged family.. good dude..
anyway back to the other.
Ok so throwing up blood writhing in pain for 4 days straight. throwing up blood aout once every 5 minutes if you can imagine. no chance to get water
down, but I took the chance drinking blood flavored water as soon as I threw up in the hopes that 5 minutes would give me some absorbtion. Who knows
if that's what killed me, or if it was when I felt better from that but then my body turned icy cold and my heart no longer beat?
I don't know how to tell the story because I don't know what reality is anymore. If I tell it it's going to sound like it all took place here, as
that's what it seemed like, but I have my doubts. and my mind being faced with all of this, I started having psychosis like symptoms, but I don't know
if that was actual mental illness, or if everything I was experiencing really was out of this world messed up.
ORder of events is also hard to make work, it's like things happened out of time.
At some point I'm being told that I am fake, that I don't exist.. I get angry of course I'm real how am I talking to YOU!!! ??
"No you're fake, I'm waiting for you to turn real, I'm scared."
messed up part is that I didn't eat food for like 10 or 11 days maybe longer, just couldn't eat had no need or desire to. I would drink water but
never had to go to the bathroom. It didn't dawn on me as anything super weird I had just thrown up blood for days and thought maybe my appetite is
off. Like I was poisoned and my body just didn't want to take the chance again. Maybe I was poisoned, I dunno.
there was this whole thing that "we could rebuild the entire universe at any time don't worry. We have everyones DNA we have all of the information we
can remake it anytime..
So no heart beat. Getting online with no internet.. Seemingly magical.. You know part of it felt like the matrix, that you could be located with a
trace thing and woken up..
that's when ALL hell breaks loose. And I use that expression thinking maybe I'm not saying it as an expression. guys in "fast cars" zooming all over
my head thinks oh these are demon gate guards.. whoever put me here was enjoying my fear. 6 or 7 guys then come running around the house looking for
me it seems with dogs and flashlights as the cars are zooming around.. then a jet that sounds like it is meant to bomb the house zooms over it sounded
like a 747 about to land in my lap...
thats what happened after my heart? my soul? my feeling part of me? was put back into my body. IT was taken out earlier and I was something like a
vampire.. I understand fully what the archetypal vampire is, and it's not really about blood.. it's about having emotions, and when you don't it's
like you have "no energy"
so this person is telling me they are going to do a spell and it will feel like ice in my bum and spread up to my heart engulfing me.. WHOA
flashback!! just like in the matrix with the tracing program neo turns metallic and he says it's cold and he's about to die!!! whew ok let me calm
down and try and remember.
So I'm a dead vampire thing now, and I'm "not real" "Of course I'm real!"
when's the last time you went to the bathroom?
so I got on the internet like a good little dead boy talking to people. I'm being told to do this as I'm telling them I can't I have no connection.
they are like of course you can you don't need internet just try it.. So ok and it works this actually freaks me out more than not having a heart beat
but freaks out is hard to describe because I had no emotions.. You can still ponder and have distance in thoughts and something like emotions but they
aren't feelings.. You know how easy it is in that state to pull others into you?
I'm on the internet they suggest I go to ATS.. my whole body is cold but I do not shiver I have no goosebumps, the icey cold feels comforting.. I
don't need to be warm because I'm not alive. haha. but no seriously I could go out into space and it would feel cold but good cold.. nvm I can't
this is when I worried about my future (I'm convinced I'm alive this entire time[at the time], but let me get to ATS in a bit)
I was worried I couldn't feel anymore and I would have to use energy to fake it. That I would have to fake it for 50 years or just leave society
altogether.. Maybe I was dead anyway so I wouldn't have to eat I'd just suck on peoples energy, but only enough don't get greedy..
Go on ATS, threads about eating Elohim, they taste like pumpkin pie! MMmm...
ok that was weird.. "how to get to mars"
Phage of all people describing how to become weightless and mars just appears where you are, that's how UFOs really work.. PHAGE is saying this, and
everyone else in the thread is saying it, and maybe he was being sarcastic but he kept on for many posts.. Then a thread about me appears, and I freak
the ef out.. it's telling a story if you are this boy who has these eyes that change color and at this many years of age this happened, and blah
then a story about cops shooting into cars 357 bullets, at two unarmed people. WHAT?
then a thread about following the rules. See I was being told these rules, whatever but these other people were telling me to hide.. the rules were
thus "do not speak out of turn, you are all brainwashed, the secrets you think you know are the program we started you with." ground rules number 2
you cannot hide from the sun (uncover your windows).. something about brainwashing and the sun was part of it? It's actually like the sun and moon
cycle and the seasons break up your reality into chunks so you are never working on any thought or any consciousness stream for more than 16 hours at
a time.. Anyway..
that's when 3 famous posters here all were in a thread about being bullet proof. It was a certain character you pick. My mind races to the stories of
the cops shooting up the car 357 times, and there was another story like it at the same time.. All of this I'm reading with no heart beat, and no
internet connection. but the thing about beign bullet proof you could still be lit on fire..
So I decide I'm going to break the 6 rules laid out in a thread posted by a "shapeshifting reptile alien" with a cloak avatar.
I pass out and I don't wake up, when I finally do wake up I'm stiff and this is when I