a reply to: Mousygretchen
Ah, well Mousy G you're in an extreme... some people with no brakes to their minds or actions need to learn to become self conscious the opposite
extreme of being too self conscious.
There is a very large group of I don't care what anyone thinks about me, and a very large group of what is everyone thinking about me. The I don't
care group likes attention and to stand out, the other group wants to hide and blend in or wall flower...
I doubt your behavior has anything to do with those memories other than you were aware of them occuring and felt something deeply about it, so trying
to remember the emotion you felt and if a fear arose with it or other emotion then you can see why it is so prominent in memory some things so
traumatizing people sort of black out can't even recall it and only can during hypnotherapy of course they relive the thing again which can be just as
traumatic as it was the first time... so who the hell wants that? Not like it repeating is going to end it you just have to know that it is gone and
done and over and those moments grasped at at not really you nor anyone else... just a moment in time gone can never occur again except by that
I went through the whole past life recall business that all of this echoing we do essentially became moot... same thing over and over same trope same
frame work different faces different people all echoing the same things so are those same things them? If it has nothing to do with day to day life of
taking care of ones form then no, it is just the same idea parroted from the origional source from which it came like the game of telephone... except
the words don't change the people do but since the words don't change neither do the people, except via strong effort to break those cycles of
Self consciousness when there really is a self and isn't a self... there is a personality unique to the way we express ourselves in love, joy,
happiness, discomfort and the other emotions and when we start blaming others for those emotions when they are ours? We end up in chaos of assumptions
and expectations of anyone and everyone other than ourself to control them by controlling others or alieviating them in various ways... yet the form
and the emotions in it are only our responsibility no one else's and when someone steps in and tries to help ease that suffering... grasping the hand
or slapping it away is also their choice.
People likely think far less about you than you realize and I don't mean that in the mean way... I mean that as in you are giving people and their
thoughts too much credit. What do you think about things? How do you feel about things? Ask yourself those questions... if there is anything within
oneself you are not comfortable with that does not feel like yourself? Then who's does it belong to? Why are you carrying it? Lay it down unless it
helps you and feels right just like a comfortable pair of shoes that you have broken in with your own feet.
That's when what others think won't really make a difference because there is nothing wrong with you when it's actually you... of course when you
become comfortable within yourself then confidence grows and people will notice something you and only you and at that point you dont mind because
thats exactly who you are... it isnt fake, it isnt contrived, and it isn't some false image.
After that work is done you wouldn't have thought about what was occuring on the bench that may have been disurbing the woman in some mental fantasy
unreal... you would ask her to find out make sure she is ok, that's the reality part when living directly in it... mental questions? Ask don't rely on
the mind to know something it cannot... as essentially it is empty when we get here... searching past experience won't help it causes a pause best to
find out in the moment it is occuring if it does not occur in an instant of knowing.
edit on 8-9-2016 by BigBrotherDarkness because: (no reason