I was trying to set up a module and kept having a strange experience on my laptop Saturday night and no it wasn't alright... but my back ground image
kept being switched to one I didn’t download and in a personal folder, so that of course means hackers are at it and well I knew this as soon as
functionality started taking a dive so I've been simply living with it but putting crap on my machine irritates me as it breaks sh-t I say hey spy all
you want electronically, just don’t break or steal my stuff.
So the BG screen had an odd file name it was not a very good one... all grey and pixelated; and the title was: sound, texture and light. Well it made
me think after it resetting to that several times, that even if sound is empty of a labelled form like horn, words comprehended or not as spoken
etc... or texture even if form is not labelled with touch, like couch the sensation of clothing wind etc, or the form not in darkness seen with light,
that can distinguish form without labels as laptop screen, keyboard, or whatever else falls into ones view... I typically do not do any of this any
longer, after the meditation into it trying to contact sound, texture, and light all at once... upon waking it was like being flung back into the
deepest pit of suffering once again.
The interesting thing, is my empathy was renewed after having nearly an entire day of hearing constant bias and bigotry where I frequent to play
billiards. It wasn't the attempts of insulting, desires to control, or to pull strings that was painful... it was the place of suffering that they
stem from... the place where one is at such and extreme of personal insecurity that they have to try to make themselves constantly better than others
but placing everyone in boxes of some sort they deem inferior.
Very sad... and I don’t hate such people, knowing the place it comes from are either from deeply seated wounds, and a self protection, an over
inflation of ones self esteem causing the ego to become sociopathic and out of touch with reality, or simply trying to be funny or cocky in craving
attention to an extreme that becomes annoying simply because indoor voice has an intimate audience but outdoor voice indoors wants the whole place as
an audience... well some places are not intended to be a soap box, and well hey there's open mic nights for such things imho.
So, while the wtf with my computer was annoying, it was like one of those... universe trying to tell me something or remind me of something, and it
certainly did. It reminded me of what the reflection of hell looks like in a mirror of ignorance when it becomes so strong it tries to reflect back
into you, where it becomes nearly a psychic battle. But the odd thing is... without such as freedom from that sort of attachment, it is easy to forget
what such as contact as an unbroken link of causation in: Sound, Texture, and Light or existing in the 3 worlds in unawareness of being or ignorance
that such is suffering... can be.
So, it was still karma even the Buddha still had karma with the 3 headaches from rapping a fish on a head 3 times as a child... I wasn't happy that my
computer was having issues and the issue it was having? The image stated clearly the future before it arrived as the day I had experienced.
Later when I returned home, I was sitting here and was going to turn on the TV, the remote was some place the xbox remote was next to me and the
controller as well... I pressed the center button on the controller to turn on the xbox and the TV turned on not knowing where it was, so as I thought
well... it's on. I ignored it and started loading up a game to play then noticed the TV remote on the back of the couch.
I'm not going to grasp at any belief for what was occurring, but this is a thread about strangeness and well there were some strange observations that
sort of became a domino effect... I don’t know if I could get used to such pits of that sort of hell again, perhaps I’ve become to insensitive to
abrasive people when ignoring them if I have no business with them, yet when there are some that simply demand attention for whatever reason that does
not seem to have any ration except for personal reasons for being such.
I dunno... it was obvious some patrons were disturbed as racial, and sexual orientation, and mental disability slurs were slung all around... and I
mean rapid fire at volume and nearly constant. As intention and purposefully... not just in random conversation. So obviously intent but unknown
intent, if it was to injure, yes I saw some patrons visually taken aback as some people to identify with some labels when they can become very
difficult to detach from if they’ve been told or hurt with such words nearly their entire lives. So I dunno, other than the pain such causes people
it is very disrespectful to sling such things around and at such volumes when the audience is not an audience.
It of course seems to fit right on in with a lot of this business that has been going around lately and it would be be nice to know what the agenda
is... because it honestly only leads one into a whole lot of pain to oneself even if it seems harmless to them-self as it is occurring... well
that’s simply what insults are designed to do I suppose hurt others, and it's a shame that the boomerang that is suffering itself that makes ones
own life miserable in doing such goes unseen... as it being due to their own perpetuation. Of course if they do such as an experiment to test karma,
then they can see it on peoples very faces, their leaving, their avoidance of eye contact... and well if it is seeking attention? It obviously brings
the wrong kind unless one wants that same sort of pain to return in various forms.
It's important to see self abuse takes many forms, and even in those that make people want to hate them it is a way to self punish yet still feel
above those... making a downward spiral as that negative energy drags people down as they step on them as a ladder to stay up yet never seem to go
anywhere like an infinite escalator.
Of course... life is a course, and the heading sometimes blows backwards to remind us of where we've been it seems. Well, still floating along
observing no matter what arises, trying to maintain empathy in understanding in the lines people continually draw... and even knowing it's a futility
pointing at the pain drawing lines to battle make, the hope it ceases drawing them isn't.
edit on 4-7-2016 by BigBrotherDarkness because: spelling...