It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
You are strong life is tenacious... and it was your will and determination to find balance, and in that struggle like it or not? Drugs helped you find the balance you have today, because they did allow you some coping until you learned better skills for coping to achieve balance.
originally posted by: MystikMushroom
Beneath it all, its you. It always has and will be. Underneath all the external crap you think is being thrown at you, all the forces working against you -- it's you. It can take years, even decades of constant work to untangle this truth. We build many defenses, pit falls and traps to keep us from realizing we've been self-sabotaging ourselves the entire time.
Dive into your own mind. Watch your thoughts. Take responsibility for your reality.
Good hunting folks.
originally posted by: zazzafrazz
a reply to: Baddogma
The only problem I have with this is it smacks of 'the devil made me do it'
I don't subscribe to any other entities making me an arse, I take responsibility for my own actions and behaviors. I don't explain being a jerk with "it was the critters/faeries/demons."
That said, I do think that there are instances (though very rare instances) where naughty/nasty energy can "feed off " the living and at time be strong enough to make the person unwell.
But this is very very rare, and the victim usually kind of self creates the "demon" or gives it more credence.
I hear ya about not trusting anyone.. . but would expand it to things, too... and glad you opened up about true "high strangeness" ... but one piece of advice you likely already know is "trust and know your core self"... not the self that reacts to your perceived surrounding, or wants anything "shown" you.. . meaning shown anything that controls/effects others in their perception of you, but the self that just is, observes and reacts, or not, while knowing it all could be a poorly written, or brilliant, show.
Unattachment towards the environment, I suppose I mean..
The basic dream involved a family get together/wedding in some large metro area and staying in the hotel were the wedding was to occur... at one point I'm walking the city blocks nearby, lost in the crowd, and the sidewalk flows/ dips into a sub-level, rounds a corner and ends at a shop, as if built to herd people to this small shop, and one had to back track and look for a hard to spot exit to get back to the main street above... and one of my fellow "herded" pedestrians mutters, "Where I come from, this sort of farce is illegal."
Then, I find things increasingly "off" and not as they first appear to be ... and deduce I've contracted quite the fever and am in a delirium. I bumble into a place, thinking it was my hotel, and grab a phone to call a family member as I cannot recall the room number... only to realize I'm in a store and the phone was a display model and the clerk wants to notify authorities as I had wandered off with it.
A harried, cosmopolitan woman takes pity and realizes I wasn't attempting to steal, but was instead in need of assistance, so explains to the clerk and takes me back to her place.
Her name was Raz and her husband, Rex... blah, blah... I explain I'm late for a wedding (erm, tad alchemical) and I can't miss it, so I'm being guided back to the correct hotel by Raz (or Rez- name was close to that) and I am (uncharacteristically I might add) clutching her and sobbing about how lost I had been and how grateful I was to be taken home, boo-hoo .. .and then felt myself being pulled away from this "rescue" and am awakened to our "normal waking life" to find a (huge) fly on my nose looking at my eyes, which is a startling first scene to see, especially as the fly's eyes were quite red, a tad frightening and millimeters from my right eye... the thing was presumably lapping up the tears which were pouring out in waking life... and I never remember having woken (is that the proper tense?) up crying, well, ever.