posted on Jan, 21 2016 @ 07:28 AM
Welcome to the Morningly-Nightly Don't Look Now News! I'm Happi Blabber and next to me is Cronus Mouthsalot!
Our first story is of today's long awaited traffic jam on I-60043F between Exits 627 and 902.
It had been planned since Mayor Giggle Slurpdrivle installed the new lane-blocking devices so that the number available to drivers reduced from 36 to
Mayor Slurpdrivle offered his condolences to those who, literally, died either of starvation and/or old age and promised a memorial plaque would,
sometime over the next century, be erected in their honor.
Governor Happybottom today issued an executive order outlawing all use of ringed fingers when operating cell phones. He explained that such would
assure that married people would not be inclined to meet someone digitally, and then fall off into a virtual affair.
Those caught texting with rings will be prosecuted with their sentences to be served at the new Fuzzy Hollow Institution for Dis-Ringed Citizens.
Doctor Horen Polly, Fuzzy Hollow's lead psycho-drill operator, stated that, "The facility is wonderful and will serve every purpose ever
conceived by anyone in the history of mankind! Yeee-haw!"
Next up, weather outlook for the upcoming weekend and then, a visit to Roadkill State Park where over a dozen new barbecue grills have been
installed... with meals already upon them!
Don't go away!