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Why does humanity have a schizophrenic outlook on promiscuity?

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posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 12:39 AM
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Schizophrenic? Yes, I really mean it.


schizophrenic

(In general use) characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements

www.oxforddictionaries.com...


What I'm referring to is this:

A man who sleeps around with lots of women is a "stud" (which is generally lauded).

A woman who sleeps around with lots of men is a "slut" (which is generally despised).

I realize that view has changed over time but it hasn't changed with religionists and traditionalists. And, that's still the vast majority.

How did this schizophrenic outlook come to be?

My opinion is that it's generally understood that most men want to have as much sex as possible. However, it's usually difficult to make that happen so if a man can be successful at it, it usually means that he's something special. For some reason, when it comes to men, that specialness is not diminished by promiscuous actions (all other things being equal).

On the other hand, it's generally easy for women to have as many sexual partners as they want. So, sleeping around is seen as nothing special for most women. But, why is promiscuity generally seen as something shameful for women? My theory is women are expected to not like sex as much as men do so if a woman does love sex to the point that it pushes her to be promiscuous, she's seen as defective. That's my non-religious explanation. The religious part of it goes without saying IMHO.



edit on 11-1-2016 by Profusion because: (no reason given)




posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 12:53 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Because, we all know deep down that being promiscuous isn't good. But some people still want to do it--so they glamorize it to make themselves feel better. Also, the reason why men are glorified more than women is because it's not really that hard to get a guy to sleep with you--but it can be quite the challenge to get a girl to agree. Of course, that's me generalizing the stereotype.

Point being: anyone can be a skank if they want to be. Anyone. It's not difficult. It's actually much easier than not being one. Hence the term, "easy".

Frankly, I think that it's really sad. I haven't met a single whore-ish woman who isn't really just insecure and seeking to fill a void in some fashion. For someone to be a slut, they must really not value themselves very much. That's why it's sad.

But you see, since men think with their penises and are therefore mentally handicapped in that fashion, you can't really blame them for not turning down sex--I mean, most healthy young single boys would jump at the chance to get laid. Women are not the same. Our vagina doesn't control our brain. We can control our sexual urges much more readily than men can. We don't have that momentum and need like men do. So women are fully cognizant and men are clouded by their dicks. That's why women get judged more harshly for being skanky and "loose".

Now, whore men are a different story--some guys just like the idea of always being a bachelor. And that's okay. They're great guys to be friends with--just not to date. And I really don't think that there's anything wrong with that--at least they are honest with themselves. The only thing that I dislike is when they lead girls on into thinking that they'll get into a relationship with them--only to later find out that they're just side-hoe #3257 lol

But that's why both men and women need to be smart about having sex. Sex is beautiful and precious--when it's with the right person.

Promiscuity is shameful for anyone and everyone. Period. People like to pretend otherwise, but that's just because it makes them feel better about themselves. But it's far more harmful to a woman's psyche than it is to a man's to be a whore. That is my belief.

And yes, I took every liberty of using four-letter-words. It's not an insult to people who are that way, I just call it like I see it. And I'm way too lazy to write promiscuous over and over and over again. Plus, screw being PC. The truth is the truth. And if it hurts, it hurts.

People are free to make their own decisions about their lives. And that goes for both men and women.
But promiscuity isn't good. Regardless of the spin.

Now, is it wrong to shame people for being easy? ABSO-FCKING-LUTELY. But no, it's not wrong to speak of sluts in general terms. Because free speech. It's not like it's really any better than saying promiscuous.

Stud. Slut. The word may change but the meaning is the same.

You're bonded with everyone you sleep with.

Then, how do we define a stud or a slut? Basically, it's someone who doesn't value themselves.

You can sleep with more than one person in your life and not be a slut. It's not so much the action as it is the reasons and emotions behind that action. If you know what I mean.
edit on 11-1-2016 by rukia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:06 AM
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Well, maybe because the body of women is like a sacred temple. Men enter the body of women and not the contrary.

But the more scientific explanation is that it has to do with evolution. A woman has no problem to know if the baby in her womb is hers or not, while men cannot know that, not without modern technology. Thus men want to make sure that they are the father to start investing energy into the role of parent.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:07 AM
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I do NOT condone promiscuity, but that being said, I saw a quote before that goes something like:

A key that opens all locks is called a master key.
A lock that is opened by all keys is called broken.

Not that I agree with it, but it makes some sense, no?



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:12 AM
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a reply to: gosseyn

All of our bodies are sacred temples for the Holy Spirit.

Men can be raped, too, you know. By women. It's happened. Remember that sicko schoolteacher and the twelve year old boy? I think that that boy's body was just as sacred as any girl's.

a reply to: japhrimu

Eh.

The master key concept is b.s.
Because I don't care how hot you are, I'm taken and I won't sleep with you.

So that doesn't always work. But it DOES, however, explain the "schizophrenic" attitude of people toward promiscuity.


Point being: it's a delusion. All of it. It isn't good for anyone under any circumstance.
edit on 11-1-2016 by rukia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:19 AM
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a reply to: rukia

I really respect how you laid that out there. An interesting insight from the perspective of a woman, and you were able to not be all feminsty about it.

Men are called sluts and whores too, in the gay community anyways. I also believe gay women sometimes earn the title of stud from other gay women. Does this alter the perspective at all? No, because IMO, you really hit the nail on the head

Basically, it's someone who doesn't value themselves.

You can sleep with more than one person in your life and not be a slut. It's not so much the action as it is the reasons and emotions behind that action.


I really appreciate that insight. Respect



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:23 AM
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a reply to: AmericanRealist

^_^ thank you. My two best friends are really great men. We have discussed this before, and I'm glad you liked it. My mother is the one who came up with that definition, though. That's what she taught me as a child after we had the sex talk


And that's so true. Both men and women are victims of this. It would do nothing to minimize either party's experience. We're all in this together, after all.


edit on 11-1-2016 by rukia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:30 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

It was the religious leaders that labelled Mary Magdalene a slut, which coming from them with their sexual predatory and deviant natures was swallowed sadly by the ignorant and probably punished were it pointed out.

I suspect its easier to govern family units than single people so marriage has been forced by making it respectable and living in sin still carries penalties especially legally, if you don't tow the religious line. This is also the best way also for a man to ensure he is the father of children attributed to him if he demands a virgin and keeps his wife under strict control as in ME countries etc. Even here we have the nonsense of honour killings which are simply a woman asserting control over her life.

Women have more than made up for the discrimination against them by men today though and good for them.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:31 AM
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originally posted by: rukia
a reply to: gosseyn

All of our bodies are sacred temples for the Holy Spirit.

Men can be raped, too, you know. By women. It's happened. Remember that sicko schoolteacher and the twelve year old boy? I think that that boy's body was just as sacred as any girl's.



You're not going to base a general theory of the psychological evolution of mankind on that kind of incident, no matter how wrong those incidents are. You base a theory on the crushing majority of people on this planet who are heterosexual, producing babies between male and female consenting adults.
edit on 11-1-2016 by gosseyn because: sp



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:37 AM
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a reply to: gosseyn

I didn't base anything off of that.

That was just a stupid example I decided to use.

Gay people who are skanks are also not doing something good for them. So no, I'm not. Being promiscuous is devaluing yourself. Period. And not all gay people are promiscuous!!!

Sexuality isn't black and white man, it's a scale kinda like political affiliation--or at least that's what TPTB is saying right now lol

I don't care if you want to screw the Eiffel Tower. You're a person just like me. That's the point.



On a totally separate note--coincidentally, this was my facebook status earlier today:

Yeah, they used to call it a jumpoline--till your mom started using it.

haha and yes, that last bit really had no point other than I simply couldn't resist.

edit on 11-1-2016 by rukia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 01:49 AM
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a reply to: Profusion




Schizophrenic? Yes, I really mean it.


If you really mean it you're dumb or calloused. Being wishy washy isn't at all the same as being Schizophrenic. That's an insult to people dealing with a very real and terrifying problem. It's like calling a girl skinnier than you anorexic and saying you totes mean it.

I'm so tired of this nonsense, rewording things to fit a narrative and give it more of an emotional punch. You see women saying they were raped because a guy looked at them the wrong way.

You can have a discussion about a real problem without sinking this low. There is an inequality when it comes to the stigma women and men are faced with regarding the number of sexual partners they have had. Fine. I agree. Let's use some adult language though. Don't be a retard terrorist.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 02:04 AM
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This value system is specific to certain cultures, it is not of "humanity"

There are other cultures which see things very differently.

There is a totally different view of sexuality in France, I have learned, for example.

America, as with most things, makes sex out to be either sacred, or completely cheapened; one extreme or the other.
The french just consider it a part of being healthy, a necessary part of life, for both sexes. There is the concept that it is the woman who chooses the partner, but being sexually active with various partners is considered being joyous, and appreciating life, and in a strange way (for me, coming from such a different background) treating your body well.

I have witnessed men bragging that their wife has many lovers, believe it or not.
Because it isn't seen as her "giving" something away, but rather taking from others. Like accepting gifts of pleasure. And only a woman with a firm sense of self can do this joyously. They think repressing ones sexuality is a result of low self esteem, insecurity, and probably a lot of other nevroses.

I can only go so far in describing the difference in attitude, because I cannot adjust to it. Most couples our age are libertines (like swinging) and I couldn't go through with it. I have had to face that I am sexually repressed - at least compared to these values!



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 02:08 AM
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edit on 11-1-2016 by AmericanRealist because: i should not say such things ...



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 02:09 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

If you are talking society then, yes, it is a double standard, however, I think anyone who sleeps around is disgusting...male or female. Someone that treats their body like an amusement park lacks self respect and self esteem in my opinion.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 02:17 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

I do not think it is a schizophrenic attitude, I think it is more of a biased as all hell, and rather stupid attitude.

In my opinion, gentlemen who take on as many sexual partners as they possibly can, collecting phone numbers like bloody campaign medals, are not gentlemen at all. Since, if one is male, one is OBLIGATED to make oneself into a gentleman by the time one reaches adult hood, I consider males who deliberately screw everything that is not nailed down as being thoroughly incompatible with honourable conduct, and try where possible to dismiss them from my social existence.

Put another way, I have had more than one sexual partner in my life, and consider myself in that regard to have failed at life in a massive way. I only ever wanted to find one woman in my life, fall in love, get married, have a family, and work like a dog for them my whole life. As it is, two engagements, one psychopath, a couple of dalliances else wise, and a ten year old son, the first nine and a quarter years of whose life I MISDED OUT ON COMPLETELY later....

I failed at my life. I only hope I can teach my lad not to make the same mistakes I did. God only knows he will make his own, but if I can at least ensure he doesn't repeat mine, there might be some redemption to be had in that.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 02:38 AM
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originally posted by: Profusion
Schizophrenic? Yes, I really mean it.


schizophrenic

(In general use) characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements

www.oxforddictionaries.com...


What I'm referring to is this:

A man who sleeps around with lots of women is a "stud" (which is generally lauded).

A woman who sleeps around with lots of men is a "slut" (which is generally despised).

I realize that view has changed over time but it hasn't changed with religionists and traditionalists. And, that's still the vast majority.

How did this schizophrenic outlook come to be?

My opinion is that it's generally understood that most men want to have as much sex as possible. However, it's usually difficult to make that happen so if a man can be successful at it, it usually means that he's something special. For some reason, when it comes to men, that specialness is not diminished by promiscuous actions (all other things being equal).

On the other hand, it's generally easy for women to have as many sexual partners as they want. So, sleeping around is seen as nothing special for most women. But, why is promiscuity generally seen as something shameful for women? My theory is women are expected to not like sex as much as men do so if a woman does love sex to the point that it pushes her to be promiscuous, she's seen as defective. That's my non-religious explanation. The religious part of it goes without saying IMHO.



Yes you are correct. The religious arguments make my blood boil because the church being part of the establishment does what the media does, focuses the attention of the masses downward and sideways so they wont look up.

So what if a woman had a strong appetite for sex and actively sought it out like men do., Why focus on sex? The churches are deliberately use sex and female sex at that, as the sole measure of human morality.

Churches do this so the masses will not look up and think about the morality of those who design, develop and engineer human killing and maiming machines. The worst cases of human immorality. Why does the church not comment publicly about the morality of business who defraud people etc. They remain silent because they approve of such morality that's why. If they didn't they would have something to say about it.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 03:41 AM
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a reply to: Profusion

Some of it comes down to men controlling their possessions. It is no coincidence that most men who are fiscally conservative are also socially conservative. The man who longs for a "screw you I got mine" economy seems to also view women as possessions that need to be earned by hard work. They do not value women who do not require "hard work" to enjoy their company because they view things that are not exclusive to private ownership as less.

However, men who are more about community safety nets and a civil obligation to help one another seem to be less critical toward women who date around as much as men.

The rest just boils down to a lot of the double standards that exist for men but not for women. If a woman farts, will people laugh and high-five her? If you are a man and your mechanic turns out to be a woman, do you double-check her work after you get your car back? If a woman has a natural scowl, people call her a bitch but, if it is a man with a scowl, he is admired as looking tough. Women are also judged differently with the usage of foul language. The list goes on and on.

Sure, there are double standards that also hurt men but, when it comes to sexual expectations, men definitely have a strange monopoly on it.




posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 04:15 AM
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a reply to: TrueBrit

Yuppp. But having more than one sexual partner doesn't make you a slut!

slut, stud--whatever: it all boils down to a lack of valuing oneself. The act of being a slut is inherently devaluing. It's not positive.

And it is different, as I said, from someone who has more than one sexual partner. I am guilty of this as well. I first had sex when I was 18--basically because at the time I thought I was going to die (and I would have, had I continued doing what I was doing) and I didn't want to die without having sex first. It was with the most-handsome boy on campus--who was also one of my closest friends there, and he's now training to be a doctor! So, I don't regret that at all. It was my choice. I can count my partners on a single hand. And not all of those were consensual. Yeah. So I don't think that makes me particularly promiscuous.

I'm monogamous. Sex is special. It means something.

It's all about intent. And the emotions and reasons associated with the act itself. But nowhere does a slut mean someone who has had sex with more than one person. That would just be silly.

edit on 11-1-2016 by rukia because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 04:32 AM
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a reply to: rukia

I did not mean to imply that having more than one sexual partner in a life time makes one morally defunct.

I would echo your sentiment, that intent is the defining aspect in all of this. I just feel unhappy personally, that I ever found myself in more than one relationship of a sexual nature. The sort of fellow who feels no sorrow at such things, is the sort I have the issue with.



posted on Jan, 11 2016 @ 11:04 AM
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originally posted by: Profusion
A man who sleeps around with lots of women is a "stud" (which is generally lauded).

A woman who sleeps around with lots of men is a "slut" (which is generally despised).


Y'know, I really hate this sort of thinking, and I hate how it keeps being brought up. I feel it's an invalid argument anymore. I'm 36 years old, and in my entire life growing up, I have never met a person who felt a man sleeping around was a "stud". They were called "pigs", and nobody liked them.

Sure, there's a chance within their group of friends they were "studs", but any self-respecting person knew how gross the pigs were, and wanted nothing to do with them. But, I guess to be fair, I grew up in a small town where reputation was key, so if you were gross, everyone knew it, and acted accordingly.



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