posted on Jan, 15 2005 @ 11:40 AM
Microsoft, Southern Style
What would life be like if Microsoft was headquarted in Redmond,
Mississippi, instead of Redmond, Washington?
Their #1 product would be Micr'sawft Winders
Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right" or " Naw"
Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
The "Recycling Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk
redneck yelling "Freebird!"
Peripheral products would include a beer tap
Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt"
Interconnectivity would be a goal at a family reunion
Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
Micr'sawft Word would be just that: one word
Instead of latte carts we'd have grit carts
New Shutdown sound: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
Instead of VP, Micr'sawft big shots would be called "Cuz"
Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old TranS Am
Micr'sawft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
Four words: Daisy Duke screen saver
Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in
your front yard
Flight simulator upgraded to Tractor Pull Simulator
Micr'sawft CEO: Bubba Gates